March 2012

I'm sure some of you occasionally check here to see if I've ever posted a snippet of news or a recent photo. For those folks, I thought I'd give you an update.

The girls are growing and thriving. Libby Doodle Doo just turned 5 a week or so ago. Zo Peep will be 10 in a couple months.

The Doodle has turned into a chatterbox. Just on Friday, a clerk at the supermarket asked her if her name was Gabrielle -- because she was so gabby. I had to explain to her what he meant and she replied, "I DO talk a lot, don't I." She is an exuberant, happy kind kid with lots of friends, terrific self esteem (but without arrogance) and a built in talent for all things gymnastic. Here's a photo from last fall.

The Peep is still a tomboy -- but now turned athlete. She excels at any sport involving eye-hand coordination and has a powerful arm (one of her teachers said she can throw a spiral better than any kid -- boy or girl -- in her elementary school). You may be surprised to learn, therefore, that my 9 year old is a favorite among the 4th grade boys in her class and has many young suitors (I thought her athleticism would keep her away from elementary school romance. Her 4th grade teacher told me that the fact that Zo Peep is NOT a girly-girl is why so many boys have a crush on her). Here's a photo of her also taken last year. She seems to be growing up so quickly and is now more a young lady than a young girl. We've talked about the birds and the bees, the changes that are just beginning to happen to her body and many topic of pre-teenhood.

Both girls are now involved in Chinese dance and I wanted to post photos just taken last night at their public performance. Zo Peep is on the far right in this one.

And Libby Doodle Doo is the smallest lion with the biggest smile in the middle of this photo:

Until next time. Mama Hen

Catnip

In honor of our newest family member -- Egghead, the cat -- I'm calling this post  Catnip -- little minty tidbits about what's  going on in the Hen House.

The Only Tidbit About the Cat 

Egghead is a sweet cat -- happy to sit on your lap and purr, but capable of some silly play. We're all making the adjustment to him -- with Zo Peep doing the best.   Little Zo Peep has shown amazing responsibilities and cleans the litter box every morning when she first wakes up.  She also keeps Egghead's water and food dish full.  They sleep together at night -- so cute.  I'm so impressed with my First born girl.   

As for me - I am still not cognizant that Egghead is always at my feet.  I've stepped on the poor animal more times than I'd like to remember.  Also, I have -- on 3 occasions (how shameful) -- inadvertently trapped him inside a closet/cabinet into which he had slipped  as I was putting away items.  That cat can move quickly.  

Libby Doodle Doo is still hot and cold with Egghead.  Sometimes she is openly affectionate and crouches down to pet him.  Other times she visibly shakes in his presences and runs to me to be picked up.  She definitely freaks out if she is laying down (in her crib, on the changing table, etc) and Egghead comes anywhere near her.  Does anyone have any suggestions on how to help her get more comfortable with this cat?  By the way the Doodle  has a pronounced fear of dogs, too.  I'd like to help her overcome these fears, but am flummoxed on how to do it.

 

We did have one scare with Egghead that I'd like to share.  Five days after we had adopted him, Zo Peep and I were stopping in a local grocery store on our way home from a doctor's appointment.  As we entered the store a notice on the Community Bulletin Board caught my eye -- a poster for a Lost Cat with a picture that looked EXACTLY like Egghead.  I read the description on the notice -- brown nose: check, silver grey stripes: check, white paws and chest: check.  Even the description of the cat's personality fit Egghead -- loving, playful, likes people.

Zo Peep exclaimed, "That's XXX (Egghead's real name)."  And she began to cry.  

What was I to do?  What would you do?  Egghead was a stray who was turned into our local shelter.  What if this family has been searching for him all this time?  I couldn't ignore this family's plight -  so I pulled out my cell phone and called.  Fortunately, the woman told me that they had found their cat the previous day and that SHE was so happy to be home.  WHEWW!  Wish the family had included info on the poster that the cat was a She -- would have saved me (and especially Zo Peep) some anxious moments.  

I mentioned before that Egghead is a playful cat.  He loves playing with toys -- but not the cat toys we bought for him.  His favorite toys are Zo Peep's dirty socks, some furry white mittens (the Peep calls them her Polar Bear mittens) that belong Miss Peep and  an inflated latex balloon.  It's hilarious to watch the cat play with the balloon.  I want to try to capture it on video.  Hey, maybe I'll have a submission for America's Funniest Home Video (Note to self -- this may be another Lucy Ricardo money-making scheme).

Little Zo Peep -- Future Painter

This is the last week of school and Little Zo Peep has been bringing various projects home every night.  Last night she brought home some paintings that she did in art class.  One is a rendition of the caterpillar in the Eric Carle book The Very Hungry Caterpillar.

I really like her layering of color in the body of the caterpillar. I also think the sun she drew was very cute and expressive  I'm showing some close-ups of those elements:

I also fell in love with a painting/crayon drawing she did inspired by Van Gogh's Sunflowers. Her brush strokes in this painting are lovely. I think I'll get this one framed for posterity.

My Days As A Stylista Are Almost Over

Every day Libby Doodle Doo is expanding her vocabulary. It's wonderful hearing her express her thoughts and emotions with words. But one of her recent verbal additions was met with my grave disappointment.

About 10 days ago when I was dressing the Doodle in a cotton short-sleeved sweater, she pointed to the sweater and said, "Itchy."

OH NOOOOO!!!! Libby Doodle Doo is expressing her opinion about the clothes I have selected for her.

I've been down this road before with Zo Peep -- I know where this is all heading. First, she'll reject clothes I select because of comfort issues Then, she'll reject clothes based on color. And finally she'll reject clothes simply because Mama has selected them.

I LOVE putting together outfits for Miss Doodle. I LOVE hearing other folks compliment me on her style (really my style). This one little word -- Itchy -- signifies the beginning of the end of my career as a baby stylist.

I only hope that in the last 18 months Miss Doodle has absorbed some of my talent to make stylish choices in the future. That talent hasn't shown up in her older sister.  I have to admit Zo Peep doesn't have any sense of style -- she's a comfort-all-the-way chick.

Don't Forget to Vote

If you haven't already voted for the six best photos from my first week of Doodle pix -- please do so. And tell your friends to vote too. The more votes the better. Looks like there are some clear favorites so far.

And thank you Helen for the photography tips. I'm going to try some of those in this week's photo sessions. By the way, I wanted everyone to know that Libby Doodle Doo doesn't have freakishly big man hands (even though it looks that way in photo # 15). I was laying on my belly looking up at her when I shot that photo -- thus distorting the size of her hands. I've got to be careful of angles as I take these photos in the future.

It's called a Bash -- a Birthday Bash

Last Thursday -- May 21st-- was Little Zo Peep's 7th birthday (Don't get me started  on how quickly she is growing up).  We had a party after school for her and some of her friends.

For the last several years - in fact- I've had backyard birthday parties for Little Zo Peep and have kept to a small guest list of 5 to 10 kids.  

Little Zo Peep's birthday parties have not always been so low key.

Once upon a time -- when Little Zo Peep was turning 4 -- I decided that we should host her very first kids' birthday party (We had done relatives-only before this).  I had decided to have the party at the local Zoo and invited all the kids from her daycare (the Peep had been with these kids since I had adopted her).  When I added in siblings of her daycare classmates and a few extra kids that we knew -- the guest list exceeded 30 kids.  

30+ kids!!!   What was I thinking!!!

But I didn't stop there.  When I received the contract from the Zoo about possible activities, I went crazy.  I opted for the  animal interaction demonstration (including a hedgehog, a boa constrictor, a bunny and a lizard) AND an animal craft project AND a story teller AND party games AND a pinata.  During the party -- I was overwhelmed by all the hoopla and how over-the-top it all was.   

To this day I still cringe at the yuppie excessiveness of that event.  My gosh -- if this was Zo Peep's  4th birthday party -- what would I be doing for her Sweet 16?  Balloon rides in Napa Valley?  A Runway shows in Paris?  Skiing in the Andes?  So I learned from this rookie mistake.

On the way home that night, I vowed to only have small, house-based parties for the Peep.  And that is what's we've done ever since.  The parties require much more planning and effort on my part, but they are much more manageable, a lot  cheaper, more creative and -- I think -- more fun. 

For example: 

For her 5th birthday we had a Balloon theme (my niece -- an architecture student -- designed the invitations).  We had a balloon relay race,  balloon cookies that they could decorate and  a guy at the end who made balloon animals for the kids.  For our take -home party favor, I rented a helium tank where kids could create their own balloon bouquet.  

For her 6th birthday, we had a Cooking theme.  The invitations were on recipe cards (e.g. Ingredients:  1 birthday girl, a bunch of friends, 3 party games, etc).  When the guests arrived, we had paper chef hats for the kids to decorate.  For games we had a "carrying popcorn in a ladle relay" and also had a blindfolded "guess the food" contest.  Plus the kids helped prepare our lunch (corn/black bean salad,  tacos, & guacamole).  Party favors were put inside oven mitts and included some treats plus measuring spoons and a spatula.

This year -- for birthday #7 (still can't believe she is 7) we had a Luau party.  Invitations were on a message inside a plastic bottle (with a little bit of sand for good measure).  

We asked guest to wear bathing suits and had grass skirts, leis and a hibiscus flower (for their hair) to put on when they arrived.  For activities we had a hula contest, water balloon toss,  a limbo contest and a squirt bottle attack free-for-all.   Dinner included pulled pork sliders, a tropical lemon cole slaw, a piña colada salad and build-your-own fresh fruit kabobs.  The girls seemed to have a blast.

I share these birthday ideas because someone may want to use them for their own kids.  I know that I'm going to re-use at least some of these ideas for Libby Doodle Doo.  It's fair to say that each of these parties took me some time to plan and coordinate (certainly more than writing a check to the Zoo) -- so its nice to think that the initial work can be used again and again.  But in spite of the time and effort, I think these home-made parties are totally worth it.  

Before going to bed on Thursday, Little Zo Peep was sitting on the floor putting together one of her gifts when she looked up at me  and said:

"Thanks for the party, Mom.  It was lots of fun."

Totally worth it.

Now today we have another big event.   We are expanding our family.

No it's not what you think.

Today at 2 PM Libby Doodle Doo, Little Zo Peep and I will go to a local animal shelter and get a kitten.  Little Zo Peep has been wanting a cat for the last 2 years and I promised her that she could have one for her 7th birthday.

Zo Peep is giddy with excitement.   I don't think she slept very much last night.   I honestly

think that she is more excited about this kitten than she was for her birthday -- and that's saying a lot.

I'll post on Sunday to introduce you to our new little addition.

Mementos from Mother's Day

Oh, what a busy week I've had.  I began this post last Monday and am only completing it this morning.  I hope everyone had a lovely Mother's Day last Sunday.  Here are some highlights of our weekend:

A Milestone Mother's Day

Every Mother's Day is special, but a few of them have really stood out for me.  I remember the first Mother's Day that occurred as I was completing the paperwork to adopt Little Zo Peep.  It was the first time in my life that I knew I was finally on the road to motherhood. I was so excited with anticipation.  Next, I remember the first Mother's Day that Little  Zo Peep was in my arms.  We had just returned from  China and were still in a self-imposed quarantine due to concerns about SARS -- so we spent the entire day at home alone.    

I vividly remember holding my beautiful baby throughout that day and feeling a calm inner peace. And  Mother's Day, 2008 was also special because it was my first with both Little Zo Peep and Libby Doodle Doo. I looked at my two exquisite girls and knew my family was now complete -- a lovely, satisfying feeling.  Each of these Mother's Days were so special and unique.

So I had -- incorrectly --- thought that my days of milestone Mother's Days had passed.

Not so.

A Recap of My Day

This year I had my first Mother's Day in which my own children decided to make a big deal out of the day -- with no prompting from relatives or baby sitters or anyone else. For the first time Little Zo Peep embraced the idea of making Mother's Day a special day for me and dragged the Doodle into the role of co-party planner.  I had  never before experienced my girls orchestrating a celebration for me -- what an amazing experience.

First, Zo Peep bugged me for weeks about finding someone to take her and Libby Doodle Doo shopping to buy me proper Mother's Day presents. I was so touched by her fervor.  I finally convinced my nephew to take the girls shopping but due to some delays and mix-ups, he got to my house too late to take the girls to the local mall. We opted, instead, to have him accompany them to the large chain drug store that is 2 blocks away from my house.  Of course, I imagined Mother's Day gifts of Tums or Feminine Hygiene Products -- but the actual gift didn't matter.  The girls wanted to buy me something that they thought I would like -- that's why it was so special.  When they returned home I was instructed to go into the dining room and cover my eyes as they brought the booty into the house. So sweet.

Next when I picked them up from daycare/after school on the Friday before Mother's Day, they both had craft gifts for me. But Zo Peep was earnest that I could not see these items until Sunday. The trip from the center to the car was a little difficult with my eyes covered -- but I played along to keep the surprise concealed until the proper unveiling.

Finally, we spent Saturday night all sleeping in my bed -- sort of a big family sleepover. Little Zo Peep woke up early on her own and scampered away to the kitchen to make breakfast.  I woke up a little later and called from the stairs to make sure that she was OK. She ordered me to stay put and so I went back to bed and read a magazine until the Doodle woke up and the Peep finished her breakfast surprise.

(I've retold this story to several folks this week and most are  shocked that I would allow Little Zo Peep at age 6 years, 354 days to prepare and cook breakfast (using our gas stove) with no adult supervision. I can only say that Miss Peep has been an active participant in cooking and baking since she was 3-1/2 and that I have full confidence that she knows how to properly use the stove, small appliances and cooking utensils.)

Zo Peep came in with a tray containing breakfast -- coffee, dried prunes (an odd choice) and pancakes with maple syrup.  The pancakes were rather gummy & heavy (yes, she can use a stove, but she hasn't mastered following a recipe)-- but I finished every last bite.  

Then, the girls exited my room and returned with the parade of gifts.  First, came the school crafts -- an essay that Zo Peep wrote, a card with a hand print from Libby Doodle Doo, a flower made from pipe cleaners from the Doodle and a potted marigold in a Peep-painted flower pot.  Next, the drug-store gifts -- some floral-scented lotion with a candle from Libby Doodle Doo and a box of Russell Stover mixed chocolates from Little Zo Peep.  I gave my own mom boxes of candy (Russell Stover, Whitman Samplers) for Mother's Day when I was a kid.  How nostalgic that Zo Peep would continue the tradition.  

Breaking every healthy-eating rule imaginable, I opened the chocolates and allowed the girls to each have a piece.  Just like I had done as a child, they selected their piece, took a tiny bite, made a yucky face, and returned the partially-eaten candy to its slot in the box.  Some things never, ever change.

The rest of the day returned to a more normal one for me.  Little Zo Peep had left the kitchen in a disaster -- covered in flour and coffee grounds and sticky syrup (clean up is not one of her strong suits).  The skillets she used for cooking were a particular mess -- the coagulated glue-like pancake batter was cemented onto the inside and outside of the pan.  (It took me until Wednesday with numerous re-washings to completely remove the last remnants). 

So most of the day was filled with cleaning and cooking and playing with the kids.

Remembering our Birth moms

One final event of our Mother's Day was honoring the girls' birth mothers.  On Saturday we went to a local party store and I let the girls pick out a  balloon for each of their birth moms (I get mylar because it will stay inflated until  Sunday). Libby Doodle Doo selected a flower in a pot balloon and Miss Peep selected a huge heart-shaped one.
The plan was to release the balloons early on Mother's Day so that they could float to China to each girls' birth mother.  We did this last year and wanted to make this event an annual tradition. ( BTW I posted this idea on an online adoption forum and received a lecture about littering and about the environmental impact of releasing mylar balloons.  I apologize to those that are upset by this activity, but did it anyhow.  I promise to atone for this environmental sin in some other way). 

This year, Little Zo Peep wrote a note to attach to her balloon.  It said:

Dear Birth Mom,

I don't remember you, but I still miss you. Thank you for taking care of me when I was a little baby. From one of your girls.

And then she signed her Chinese name.

After picking up the balloons on Saturday, we all went out to an authentic Chinese restaurant for dinner and the staff was nice enough to translate the note into Chinese for Zo Peep.  

On Sunday, I took pictures of each girl with her balloon and we went outside to release them. As they floated away I took photos of the balloons flying away to China.

When it was over, Little Zo Peep told me that next year I should get a balloon for my Birth Mom too. What a great addition. Next year we'll watch their Birth Mom balloons drift away to China and my Mom's balloon fly to heaven.

I guess -- from this point onward -- all of my Mother's Days can't help but be special.

The Lucy Ricardo School of Unemployment

Welcome to the Lucy Ricardo School of Unemployment.  You remember Lucy Ricardo don't you?  She was the lead character in I Love Lucy -- a classic 50's sitcom that I used to watch in black and white re-runs as a kid.

Lucy was always coming up with some ditsy scheme for making money or becoming famous.  Usually the scheme turned into a disaster and much slapstick & merriment ensued.  

Since becoming unemployed I feel like Lucy Ricardo sometimes as I brainstorm different ways to generate income to keep my family afloat.  Sure I'm doing strategic things too -- looking for consulting gigs, expanding my search to include teaching jobs at universities, but lately it's the crazy pursuits that are keeping me busy.  Here are some of the wacky/off-beat money-making projects I've done since losing my job last summer:

You Ought to Be in Pictures -- Part 1 -- Last September I read an article about how our city is seeing an increase in movie and television productions due to some attractive tax incentives.  I thought that I could jump on this gravy train.  So I contacted the local film office and submitted the Hen House to their location library.  I had to submit a photo portfolio of the house from all angles -- both inside and out.  The locations librarian sent me a note thanking me and commenting that it looked like a great house.  Now, I just need a Location Scout to come to the film office and say, "I'm looking for an Arts and Craft bungalow with nice gardens and a sweet homespun feel."  And voila --  The Hen House can be a star  -- while its inhabitants make some greenbacks.

You Ought to Be in Pictures -- Part 2 -- Later in the Fall,  someone told me about a casting call for extras for a movie.  That opportunity had already passed, but I took the time to submit Libby Doodle Doo and Little Zo Peep to the most respected casting agent in the region.  

I'll be honest, I did this with some trepidation.  I want the girls to have childhoods -- not careers.  But I rationalized that if they were only being extras in movies/TV, that we wouldn't have to come into contact with  that crazy stage mom world.       Quickly I started to think that this entire undertaking was a scam, to boot.

For their applications  I had to submit two photos of each girl and give their basics vital statistics --- age, hair color, height, weight, sizes, etc.  As I was submitting the online application, I kept getting pop up windows urging me to take my data entry to the next level -- for a modest monthly fee.  No thanks.  I'll just do the free Basic application.  

After I completed the online sign-up,  I started getting emails every week telling me how my daughters' profiles were not optimized and not search-able by national casting agents until I signed up for the Premium Service.  Talk about bait and switch.   I was about to pull both girls' profiles when I got my first call to have Little Zo Peep come for an audition for an ice cream commercial.  So maybe this is legit afterall.

The audition required Zo Peep to speak on camera. They want her to speak!!  Yikes!! If you've ever looked at my YouTube videos in which Miss Peep talks (Referral Day, 3 Little Christmas Trees), you know that she has a tiny little voice that I think only Horton the Elephant can hear (and maybe me because my ear is used to it).

Zo Peep did a great job at the audition -- not too nervous.  She spoke the lines like a champ -- honestly I was quite surprise how expressive -- yet natural-- she sounded.  Problem is -- no one could hear her but me.  The panel asked her to repeat the lines as loudly as she could -- and the second time she reached a volume that was barely audible.  Hey, it was an experience.

Just last week I got a call for both girls to audition for a TV ad for a hospital -- no speaking lines required.  YEAHHH!  When we went into the audition room the agency person commented on how beautiful the girls were.  One of the casting agents said they looked like angels from heaven (wasn't that nice).  Zo Peep answered their questions politely and without a hint of nervousness.  The Doodle was uncomfortable with the bright lights and the row of people sitting at the table and -atypical for her -- shy.  She did muster a really cute and really loud "Bye, Bye." at the end.  

We'll find out if they got a part this week or next.  If they do get any work, I'm planning to put the income into their college funds -- I haven't made any contributions to that since last summer.  Once I get a job, I'm planning to have them retire from acting.

Contest. Sure I Can Enter A Contest  -- The week before last I found out about a video contest sponsored by Johnson & Johnson and YouTube.  The purpose of the Big Bubblin Star contest was to create a short video of a parent and happy baby  interacting during a bubble bath.  Grand Prize is $10,000.  Wouldn't that be a nice addition to the college fund?  When I found out about the contest there were only 5 days left to submit the video.

So I got cracking.  For my submission, I rewrote the lyrics to some famous old time songs that are in the Public Domain (Take Me Out to the Ballgame, I’m Just Wild About Harry and Toot, Toot Tootsie Goodbye) and created lyrics having to do with bubble bath time. Then I put my video camera on a tripod, plopped Libby Doodle Doo into the kitchen sink filled with bubbles and hit RECORD.

To avoid any other copyright problems (a big no-no in the contest) – I sang these songs a cappella.   Trust me, this is not a pretty sight or a delight to the ears.    What I lack in vocal talent, I try to make up through volume and enthusiasm.  Here's the video:

I find out tomorrow if we made it to one of the top 9 semi-finalist.  The next phase of the contest is a public voting component.  If we make it that far, I'll be begging all of you and your friends and their friends to go and vote for us.

Lucy Ricardo would be so proud of me.

UPDATE -- My video did NOT make one of the top 9.  Maybe I wasn't telegenic enough, maybe Libby Doodle Doo didn't seem happy throughout (she did get a little PxxxxD when I tried to put bubbles on her chin and in her hair).  Whatever the reason -- sometimes you hit a home run; sometimes you strike out.  Lucy Ricardo always tried again and so will I.

Quiet, Too Quiet

As a single mom, I cherish the moments that Little Zo Peep and Libby Doodle Doo go off and spend time together on their own.  It shows me how much they have really bonded as sisters.   Plus, it gives me a little by-myself time -- something I don't get very often.

They are together right now in the attic playroom.  

I've told Little Zo Peep that she can't have friends over until that playroom is put back in order (it's been a wreck since her last friend came over 3 weeks ago -- and I refuse to clean it).  This morning Miss Peep has convinced her baby sister to go up there and help her clean the mess.

Now having the two of them go off together and work on a project can result in a disaster.  For example, the day after Easter they were quietly working on a project downstairs for over an hour.  It was quiet -- too quiet.  When I called down to ask them what they were doing, Zo Peep replied, "Just playing."

I should have gone down and checked on them, but I was selfishly enjoying my alone time.  After an hour, I heard them walk up the basement steps and exit the house from the side door  landing.  I ran outside to find every exposed inch of skin on their faces, arms, hands, legs, and feet -- covered with red ink.  You see, they had both received Easter stamps and a red ink pad the day before and they were stamping each other with various Easter designs.  They put so many designs on their skin that the red ink just merged together into one big red mess.  It took days for the final remnant of that red ink to wash away.

But not every sister bonding event turns into a huge problem.  Last week they went upstairs at the end of the school day to change into play clothes.  They were up there longer than I expected.  When I called up the stairs to check on them, Zo Peep called back, "Don't come up mom, we're going to surprise you."

After the ink experience I wanted to fly up the stairs.  Instead I cut them slack and let them be.  About 10 minutes later they came downstairs in matching sports attire.  

Clearly, Little Zo Peep tried to match the outfits as much as possible -- right down to the Steelers Terrible Towels hanging from their belt loops.  I had to take them outside for some photos.

 

So which path will this morning's sisterhood project take -- cuteness or catastrophe?

Time will tell.

Update -- No bad incidents -- but not much cleaning either.  Zo Peep went back into the attic crawl space and found some old costume jewelry that had belong to my mother.  She played with that most of the time.  Libby Doodle Doo carried a pair of plastic Cinderella high heels down to the kitchen, put them on and went clicking and clacking throughout the house.  

A Visit to Parenting Future , Past and Present

"You will be haunted," resumed the Ghost,"by Three Spirits."

-- Charles Dickens, The Christmas Carol

I had an interesting weekend.  

In only one weekend (less than 48 hours) I got to experience present parenting, re-live past parenting and get a peek at what parenting may look like in the future.

THE GHOST OF PARENTING FUTURE

For the first time ever, Little Zo Peep went on an overnight (2 nights, really), out-of-town trip with her friend H and H's parents -- Mr. and Mrs. W.  It was a big step for her.  It was a HUGE step for me.  

Please understand that  Zo Peep and I have been parted many times in her 6 years with me. During that time I've had more out-of-town, overnight business trips than I'd care to remember -- many of them longer than 2 nights.  But somehow this trip felt very different for me.  

Maybe it was because SHE was doing the traveling while I was staying home.  Maybe it was because she showed no anxiety about this adventure.  Maybe it was because she packed for the trip on Tuesday morning -- she was that excited about going.   

Whatever the reason, I realized before she even left that this little, tiny weekend excursion was going to give me my first taste of empty nest syndrome and my first glimpse into what will become many trips away from me as she grows and matures and strikes out on her own.

Now I fully  realize that the ultimate goal of parenting is to raise my children so that they can eventually, confidently and effectively leave my care and carve out their own lives.  But -- even with Zo Peep at 6 -- I can see that final destination is going to arrive much faster than I want it to arrive.  Sometime I look in the eyes of this old soul and see her adult self just over the horizon.   Some days she seems to be growing up with the speed of a lightening bolt barreling down from the sky. 

I know I can't stop her -- or even slow her down -- but some days I wish I could.

THE GHOST OF PARENTING PAST

Of course, with Little Zo Peep gone from Friday at 3PM  until Sunday at 1PM our Hen House was down to one Hen and one Chick.  Honestly, I didn't think that the absence of Little Zo Peep would make that much difference.  After all, the Peep is very self-sufficient and doesn't need my attention that much anymore.  Plus, Libby Doodle Doo is SOOOO active, that I thought my weekend would still be hectic -- just not quite as much.

WRONG.

I had forgotten how much easier it is raising one child versus two -- even when that one child is a spitfire like Libby Doodle Doo.  I guess  I never realized how splitting my time between the Doodle and Peep (even when Zo Peep doesn't require that much from me)  is so taxing. 

It felt so luxurious to be able to put all my focus all the time on just one child.  I also didn't realize how much of my every day is consumed with the Doodle complaining (i.e. whining) about the Peep and visa-versa.  Even church -- which usually feels more like Purgatory -- was relatively painless 

Even though I missed Little Zo Peep -- I gotta confess -- the weekend was like a mini-vacation for me.

Now let me state unequivocally that I adore both of my children, I love having two children  and I'm deeply grateful for the opportunity to be their mother.   But with all that said, I think I realized over the weekend what a big step I actually took when I moved from Single with One to Single with Two in January, 2008.

THE GHOST OF PARENTING PRESENT

I picked up Little Zo Peep on Sunday afternoon.   She was incredibly excited about her adventure and while driving home in the car delivered a machine-gun re-telling of the entire weekend.   During one of her stories about Mr. and Mrs. W -- parents of her friend H -- I squeezed in the comment, "Gee, that's so nice.  I  think Mr. and Mrs. W are very nice people."

Zo Peep replied, "Yes, they are very, very nice."

And then she paused for a beat and added:

"Much nicer than you."

OUCH!!!!

I don't know precisely when it happened, but Zo Peep has moved into a stage where she sometimes openly criticizes me.   It doesn't happen often, but it stings whenever she does it. Sometimes its for the clothing I'm wearing.  Sometimes its because of something I said to one of her friends.  Sometimes its because I do something that is truly bad -- losing my patience, raising my voice, swearing (for these things I always apologize).

I remember the Zo Peep who idolized everything about me-- even though I realized that I was far from perfect.  I knew that her idolatry wouldn't last forever.  And as long as she is respectful to me (sometimes she is and sometimes she isn't), I'm glad that she feels comfortable speaking from her heart and sharing her opinions about me as a person and as her mother.

I just have to build up the calluses so that these comments don't hurt quite as much.

Oh, and by the way -- I've known Mr. and Mrs. W for over 3 years now.  Based on my experiences, I think Zo Peep is correct -- they are much nicer than me.

Just don't share that tidbit with my first-born.  

 

Easter Fashion

As I return to the blogging world, I'm going to post a few stories of things that have happened during my 6 month hiatus.  Here is one that just happened in the last few weeks.  -Mama Hen
*******************************************************

I could write a sonnet

About your Easter bonnet

And of the girl I'm taking to the Easter parade

-Irving Berlin

I loved Easter as a kid. Not only was it a holiday filled with colored eggs and candy, but it also was the one-day each year when I would get a brand new outfit to wear to church. I was the third of six children and money was always tight.   I spent most of my life in hand-me-downs, so getting that new dress, those new shoes – sometimes even a spring coat, hat, gloves and purse – was so special.

I wanted to maintain that tradition for my girls, too.

So a couple months ago I was stressing over the fact that – with no job in sight – I wouldn’t be able to afford Easter dresses for Libby Doodle Doo and Little Zo Peep – certainly nothing like the co-ordinating silk shantung confections that they wore last year. Such a purchase seemed so frivolous these days.  

And then – as I was going through a bin of size 2T Spring/Summer clothes put away when Zo Peep outgrew them -- I made an amazing discovery.  I found not One, not Two but SIX fancy dresses that had never been worn by the Peep and still had their tags on.  

Now I can’t tell you why I bought so many dresses for Zo Peep way back then. Maybe I was insane, maybe prescient -- perhaps somewhere deep inside I knew that I would need a new dress for the Peep's little sister someday.  Who knows?

I had the Doodle try on the 6 possible Easter dresses and found 2 that fit her perfectly.  I picked a cotton floral one with a touch of eyelet and a bit of tulle underneath to give the dress some extra pouf.  The fabric is really retro and reminded me of curtains (or maybe it was a table cloth) in my grandma's kitchen when I was a toddler myself.

Once I had the Doodle’s Easter dress resolved, I brainstormed about what to do for Zo Peep. And then I remembered that when Zo Peep was 3 1/2,  I stumbled upon a "Going Out of Business" sale at a high end girls' clothing shop.  With prices from 75 to 90% off, I decided to buy her First Holy Communion Dress -- a dress she would not wear for another 4 years.   I had no idea what size the Peep would be in 2nd grade, so I bought THREE dresses that day -- size 6, 6x and 7.  I figured I would find good use for the dresses I ultimately did not use.

Fast forward to early April, 2009.   

I found the garment bag with the Communion dresses (I had also bought a Communion veil and gloves -- more things that I had forgotten about).  The size 6 dress fit Zo Peep beautifully.  It was ivory silk sheath  with just a hint of green and lilac at the bodice and hem -- totally appropriate for Easter.

So with dresses -- purchased in 2006 and 2004 --  my girls were able to wear their New Easter outfits this year.

They both looked charming.

 

Catching Up

Hi everyone.

Here it is April 15th.  My gosh the months are rushing by like cars on a freeway. 

The bad news is that I'm still unemployed.  I never imagined that finding a job would have been so difficult, but as a living, breathing statistic of our weak US economy -- I can attest that it's really, really rough out there.

 

And I'm not going to pretend that I haven't had some rough times since losing my job but -- even in my darkest moments -- my girls have helped me (and continue to help me) get through this time.  We celebrated holidays, marked milestones (lost teeth, expanding vocabulary),  and enjoyed the "ordinariness" of every day.   

For the last month or so,  I've been working with a colleague who lost her job at the same time I did.  We are going to try to get some consulting work.  I don't know if our efforts will turn into a permanent gig  or just keep me afloat till a more traditional job comes along.  I know that just working on this project has helped me shake the cobwebs from my brain and the lead from my step.  

Net, net I'm in a better place and have decided to return to occasional blogging.  I'm sure my postings won't be daily, but I think they will be regular.  I hope you'll join me on my journey.

Let me get you caught up with Little Zo Peep and Libby Doodle Doo.  The girls are both doing very well -- healthy and happy.  Yesterday while driving to a meeting with my colleague,  I heard Bill Withers "Lovely Day" on the radio.  As I listened to the lyrics, I thought that how the words captured how grateful I am to my children for helping me get through this rough patch and for bringing purpose, sunshine and focus into my life.

This morning I gathered together a bunch of photos from the last 6 months and created a montage of my girls.  I've included a couple of the Apple Orchard shots from October, but most of the pics are more recent.  This gallery shows Zo Peep and the Doodle being silly, grumpy, loving &  ornery -- but in every photo I feel their energy and spirit that is helping me focus my own optimism and resolve.   

I WILL be OK.  I CAN see light at the end of the tunnel.

Enjoy the video montage.

More pix of the Girls in the Apple Orchard

Since I'm taking a hiatus from this blog, I thought I'd add some more photos of the girls taken a few months ago at a local apple orchard.  The girls are changing and growing up so rapidly that these photos may be hopelessly obsolete by the time I return to blogging.

Happy Holidays

Just wanted to put up a quick post to let everyone know that we're all ok and that I'm formally suspending the blog for now.

A quick update on my chicks:

Libby Doodle Doo is a firecracker -- all full of dazzling energy and joy.  She's expanding her vocabulary daily (sometimes with words that only I understand) and has moved confidently into toddlerhood.  Zo Peep is doing a great job being a big sister -- protective & instructive.  The two of them together are lovely to watch (well, most of the time -- like all siblings they both have their moments).   

I'm still unemployed -- and that's the big elephant sitting in the corner of the room.  We're still ok financially -- at least for the next few months.  The job search has taken a lot out of me emotionally.  I have good days and bad days.  I'm trying to channel all of my energy into the girls and into the job search (struggling with that second area).  Right now, I don't have any spare energy left over to maintain the blog.  I hope to resume writing in the future when I'm on more stable ground.

I wish all of you a lovely holiday and the happiest of new years.  

I'll leave you with some more photos of the girls taken in October by an amazing child photographer.  The photographer books sessions way in advance and I had pre-paid for a Fall photo session for the girls shortly before being notified that I was losing my job (lucky break).  I'm glad I followed through with the session.  I now have beautiful photos to mark the girls' first year as sisters.

Peace to all.  Theresa

Mama Mia

Earlier this week, Little Zo Peep and I had an interesting conversation about her birth mother.

Sometimes Zo Peep and I watch the PBS program Antiques Roadshow, a program in which people bring in items and professionals determine the value of the item. During the program, she and I guess how much a treasure is worth and keep score of who came closest to the actual value.

An appraiser was reviewing an antique Chinese tapestry that featured a female character from Chinese folklore. Suddenly Zo Peep blurted out:

“She (the character in the tapestry) has the same name as my birth mother.”

“What?” I said (a little taken aback). “How do you know that?”

And then she continued in an animated, rapid-fire delivery:

“Because my birth mother sent me a letter, but I hid it from you. She told me all about herself and how she just had a baby boy who is my birth brother. And how my birth father is older than she is – not old like Grandpa – but older.”

Where was this coming from? I focused on one part of her story (looking back not what I should have done).

“You hid this letter from me. Why?”

“Because it was to me from my birth mother,” she said matter-of-factly and then continued:

“And she sent me pictures of herself, too. She’s tall and thin with long black shiny hair and big dark brown eyes and beautiful hands with long fingers.”

Oh my gosh, Zo Peep was describing her adult self. Tears started to well in my eyes.

“She sounds beautiful. But sweetie, you don’t have to hide anything about your birth mother from me. Your birth mother and birth father are special people because they created you. And your birth mother is extra special because you grew in her tummy and she took care of you. I would love to meet your birth parents and know more about them. “

“OK,” was all she said and went back to watching TV.

Later at bedtime I asked her if she wanted to talk more about her birth mother and the letter.

“I was just pretending about the letter,” she said. 

“Well, if you want to talk more about you birth mother we can.”

“OK.”

And then she hugged me and we kissed goodnight and that was it.

But what a profound experience. It was the first time I realized how Little Zo Peep is processing so much about her beginnings and early life. It is only a matter of time before these conversations become more frequent and more intense.

I hope I’m ready.

Chick Flick Friday -- Rockin

I don't know about you, but I needed a video that made me smile this week. Here's some footage I shot at my sister's house last week.

It shows the sometimes feisty interplay between Libby Doodle Doo and Little Zo Peep. It also features Miss Libby's very cute dimples, round Buddah-belly and her very flat/not even there bum.

The Butcher, The Baker, The Candlestick Maker. . .

Leave it to Little Zo Peep.

When I got news of my job loss on Monday, I realized that my very intuitive, very smart six year old would deduce that something was changing and begin asking questions soon.

She figured it all out just yesterday.

I had decided to keep both girls home from Daycare/Summer Camp on Wednesday. As I emerge from the fog of my own sickness and continue to recover from my pneumonia, I noticed that each of the girls was beginning to exhibit signs of infections themselves. Although their spirits were high and they hadn't had any fevers, Libby Doodle Doo had been having thick, opaque drainage and Little Zo Peep had been complaining of a sore throat. I wanted to get them both in to see their Pediatrician. As I waited for the Dr. appt at 2:30 PM, Zo Peep followed me around as I did some light chores and worked on the computer.

As I was reading an email from a friend, I quickly found Zo Peep at my left shoulder reading along with me.

"Why does she say, 'Sorry about your job?' " my First Born probed.

The jig was up. I needed to face this conversation with Little Zo Peep already.  I had thought a little about how to handle the job loss situation with Little Zo Peep.  I wanted to be honest with her, but did not want her to fret or worry.    I had decided to make my reply short and sweet to answer her questions and allay any fears.

"Mommy is going to go find a new place to work soon and isn't going to work at the old place anymore."

"I don't want to move," she retorted with a tear catching in her throat. Little Zo Peep has already lost playmates in daycare, pre-school and kindergarten to job relocation.

"Sweetie, mommy doesn't want to move either. Do you think I should look for a job here first?

"Yes."

"Then that's what I'll do."

"Maybe you can work in the Bakery?" Less than a minute after this news was delivered, Sweet Little Zo Peep had already switched to an Outplacement Counselor.

"The Bakery?"

"Yes. Or Day Care, or Church, or my School."

"Good suggestions. I'll put all of those on my list."

That was the end of the conversation. I'm sure we'll have many more discussions in the weeks and months to follow. I decided from this brief encounter that I probably need to get some help to handle this transition for the girls -- especially the Peep. When I was at the Pediatrician's office later I picked up a card for a parental/family therapist who is affiliated with the practice. I'm going to give her a call today.



BTW my intuition about the girls was correct. Libby Doodle Doo has a middle ear infection. Little Zo Peep has Strep throat. So now the entire family is on a course of 3 different anti-biotics. The Doodle can go back to Day Care tomorrow, but Zo Peep needs to stay home until she is no longer infectious. I had a follow-up visit with my own Doctor on Tuesday. I'm making improvements, but its slow going. She put me on some more steroids for my bronchial inflammation and switched my anti-biotic to a more powerful one. I also need to go for a follow-up chest x-ray on Friday.

Taking each day at a time.

The REAL Part of my Surreal Monday

As I mashed the potatoes and as the filet grilled outside, Little Zo Peep and Libby Doodle Doo did what all kids everywhere do with leftover brownie batter.

They licked the bowl clean.

Zo Peep wore her Chef hat and apron:

While Libby Doodle Doo experienced the joy of brownie batter for the first time.

America’s New Top Model Student

Little Zo Peep brought home her 3rd period report card last week. In Kindergarten her “grades” consist of Minus signs or Check marks or Plus signs. She is graded on about 40 different dimensions – everything from listening well to recognizing long vowel sounds from sharing to penmanship (to name a few).

Like previous grading periods, the Peep received lots of Plus signs, a couple Checks and no Minus signs. She also received this comment from her teacher:

“Z**** continues to show excellent progress and is mastering all of her studies. She is a model student.”

I read these comments to Zo Peep and she retorted,

“Model Student??? You mean, like America’s Next Top Model?”

Let me explain:

In the summer of 2006 my niece Monica worked as my Nanny and stayed with us during the week. She introduced Zo Peep and me to many reality shows including America’s Next Top Model. Although we don’t watch it every week, Zo Peep and I are still fans.

Zo Peep’s comment made me smile. Wouldn’t it be great if model students were admired and lauded as much as long-legged, size zero beauties? Can’t y’all imagine a reality series in which contestants vie for the title of America’s New Top Model Student?

Not very likely, eh?

Interestingly, -- in spite of her teacher’s comments -- I would never call my little one a model student. Honestly, Zo Peep shows little to no passion for school. Some mornings she whines about how she HATES school. Plus, Miss Peep periodically tells me how many days are left until school is over for the summer – as if she is counting down a prison sentence.

Perhaps her love for school will kick in later and I’m expecting too much of my not-yet-six-year-old. I hope she develops a love for learning. Maybe it is already starting. In the last few months I've seen her show a real interest in science (she loves to do experiments at home) and a joy in reading and spelling. Maybe her love of learning is starting to emerge and her love of school will follow shortly thereafter.

Stay tuned.

How to Make a Peanut Butter & Jelly Sandwich

In past blog postings, I've mentioned how Little Zo Peep writes in a journal in Kindergarten each day. Her teacher then reads her posting with her and corrects her mistakes below her writing.This past week the teacher had the class watch her as she made a peanut and butter sandwich. She then asked each of them to write down the steps needed to make the sandwich.

I was impressed that Zo Peep was able to capture the steps so thoroughly and that her Spelling, Punctuation, Penmanship and Sentence Structure has improved so much. Here is her un-edited steps for making a sandwich:

1. You get awt the dred.

2. Then you get awt the penu budr and jele

3. Then you put it on the nuf.

4. Then You sdred it on the bred.

5. Then you puti thm to gether.

6. (written backwards) then you cut it.

7. then finlee you can etite.

Let me know if anyone needs a translation. She still is challenged with selecting the correct letter when she needs a "b" "d" or "p" -- so that hint should help you decipher some of her "words."

Raising an Eyebrow

I’m a bad mommy who isn’t paying enough attention to my children. And I have proof.

As many of you know my job has been CRAZY – blah, blah, blah. I’ve been super busy – blah, blah, blah.

But none of that gives me an excuse to become a totally un-observant parent. And –alas – I think that is what I have become.

This weekend, Zo Peep and Libby Doodle Doo and I were driving in the car. I was using the rear view mirror to look at Zo Peep as we talked about something (I can’t remember what). Suddenly, I saw something in the rear view mirror that startled me.

“What’s wrong with your eyebrow?”

“What, mommy?”

“Your eyebrow. Your left eyebrow. It’s missing. Well, half of it is missing. Where is the other half of your left eyebrow?”

Zo Peep looked incredulous and sheepish all at the same time.

When we got to our destination, I looked again. I was right. Half of Little Zo Peep’s left eyebrow had vanished.

“What did you do with your eyebrow?”

She hemmed and hawed and refused to make eye contact. Finally, she offered, “I’ve been pulling out the hairs a little at a time.”

“Really???” I thought.

Part of me felt horribly guilty that my elder daughter was slowly torturing herself as her mother busied herself with corporate matters. But the other –more practical – side of me didn’t buy her explanation. Zo Peep crumples into a pile of tears when I use a wide, wide tooth comb on her hair. Zo Peep has NO tolerance for pain of any kind. I could not imagine her slowly and systematically pulling out eyebrow hairs one at a time.

For the last day I’ve been asking her about the eyebrow. Last night my interrogation continued.

“When have you been pulling out your eyebrow hairs? I’ve never noticed you do it?”

“I’ve been doing it in the shower.”

A-HA!!!! BING* BING*BING. In the shower??? Now the jig was up.

“Did you climb up on the bench in the shower, get my razor (that – I thought -- was stored up high out of reach of curious little hands), and shave off your eyebrow?”

She looked at me as if I was psychic. And then she started to cry.

“Honey, I’m not going to punish you – but I DO need to know the truth. Did you use my razor to shave off half of your eyebrow?”

She didn’t answer for a full 2 minutes. And then she composed herself and said,

“I used soap first.”

I asked her when she did it. She said that she doesn’t know how to tell that kind of time yet, but thought it was a few days ago.

I then had a long talk with her about how dangerous razors were and how she had to promise never to use one again until she was a teenager and I showed her the proper way to use one. And I told her to NEVER use a razor on any part of her face EVER -- especially near her eyes.

When she went to bed I looked through some recent photo taken in March. At her school play on March 1st she had two complete eyebrows.

But in this blow-up from a photo taken on Easter (March 23rd), the left brow abruptly ends in the middle of her eye.

So Zo Peep has been walking around for over 2 weeks with only 1 and ½ eyebrows. And I never noticed.

Sad, very sad.