Mama Mia

Earlier this week, Little Zo Peep and I had an interesting conversation about her birth mother.

Sometimes Zo Peep and I watch the PBS program Antiques Roadshow, a program in which people bring in items and professionals determine the value of the item. During the program, she and I guess how much a treasure is worth and keep score of who came closest to the actual value.

An appraiser was reviewing an antique Chinese tapestry that featured a female character from Chinese folklore. Suddenly Zo Peep blurted out:

“She (the character in the tapestry) has the same name as my birth mother.”

“What?” I said (a little taken aback). “How do you know that?”

And then she continued in an animated, rapid-fire delivery:

“Because my birth mother sent me a letter, but I hid it from you. She told me all about herself and how she just had a baby boy who is my birth brother. And how my birth father is older than she is – not old like Grandpa – but older.”

Where was this coming from? I focused on one part of her story (looking back not what I should have done).

“You hid this letter from me. Why?”

“Because it was to me from my birth mother,” she said matter-of-factly and then continued:

“And she sent me pictures of herself, too. She’s tall and thin with long black shiny hair and big dark brown eyes and beautiful hands with long fingers.”

Oh my gosh, Zo Peep was describing her adult self. Tears started to well in my eyes.

“She sounds beautiful. But sweetie, you don’t have to hide anything about your birth mother from me. Your birth mother and birth father are special people because they created you. And your birth mother is extra special because you grew in her tummy and she took care of you. I would love to meet your birth parents and know more about them. “

“OK,” was all she said and went back to watching TV.

Later at bedtime I asked her if she wanted to talk more about her birth mother and the letter.

“I was just pretending about the letter,” she said. 

“Well, if you want to talk more about you birth mother we can.”

“OK.”

And then she hugged me and we kissed goodnight and that was it.

But what a profound experience. It was the first time I realized how Little Zo Peep is processing so much about her beginnings and early life. It is only a matter of time before these conversations become more frequent and more intense.

I hope I’m ready.