Wake Up Call

The text message from a close friend yesterday was short and to the point:

Why aren’t you blogging? All Okay?

Yes, everything is ok. The girls are fine and I am fine. I'm just EXHAUSTED.

Before I started the paperwork to adopt Libby Doodle Doo, I knew that the transition from Single Mother of One to Single Mother of Two would be a challenge. I knew in my head that raising two would include a staggering amount of work.

Intellectually I knew these things. But I have to honestly tell you that my body has been surprised at how physically draining this transition has been.

I don’t know if it is because I’m older or more out of shape than I was when Zo Peep was a baby, but I’m just exhausted at the end of every day. Maybe I’m still trying to catch up on the sleep that I missed when I was in China or the sleep I lost during the first 2-1/2 weeks that Libby Doodle Doo was home and wouldn’t sleep through the night. Maybe it’s because I spend my days running up and down stairs (the Hen House has living spaces on 4 different floors -- and I visit each one Many times each day) and my flabby physique just can’t take it. Maybe I'm just not as organized as I thought I was. Maybe it’s all of the above.

The honest truth is that I haven’t been blogging because I’ve been sleeping during my usual blogging times. I used to write my blog every night after Zo Peep went to sleep. I used to edit those entries and post early in the morning (my usual wake up time was between 4 and 5 am) when I’m up and atom and the Peep was still asleep.

In the last couple weeks I’ve started half dozen posts during free moments I’ve found in my day. I haven’t completed any of them. Maybe if you understand my day, you may understand why I haven’t yet found my rhythm as a Mom of Two.

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Here’s what a prototypical weekday looks like (a day that doesn’t involve appointments or special events like school delays or school closings– those days are even crazier):

6:15 AM -- Wake up.


6:15 – 6:30 – Throw in load of laundry, If I have time -- take shower.



6:30 – Wake up girls. Change baby’s diaper.



6:30 to 7:00 – Give baby bottle, make breakfast for Zo Peep, complete packing lunch (started the night before), Check contents of Zo Peep’s back pack, clean up Zo Peep’s breakfast dishes.



7:00 to 7:30 – Get Zo Peep Dressed, Supervise as she brushes teeth, fix her hair, get baby and Zo Peep bundled into 100 layers of clothes for bitter cold outside.



7:30 to 7:50 – Walk or drive Zo Peep to school (depending on weather)



7:50 to 8:00 – Stop with Libby Doodle Doo at local coffee shop for TO GO cup of decaf coffee



8:05 – Arrive back home



8:05 to 8:10 – Change Libby Doodle Doo’s diaper



8:10 to 9:10 – Feed Libby Doodle Doo breakfast. This child can eat. And that’s great. My goal is to shovel in as much as she will take.

I know and hour seems like a long time to feed a 17 pound little baby , but I’m lucky if I can complete it in only an hour. It’s taken me awhile to get into the rhythm of feeding time with her. I’ve learned from trial and error.

For example, here is a checklist of the supplies that I’ve discovered that I need (with a little explanation of what each is used for):

3 food items representing protein, vitamins and carbs – check
Confirm that food also represents different textures to give her variety – check
Also confirm that food represents items that I’ll feed her and some finger food to
improve her fine motor skills & give her a sense of accomplishment -- check
Finally confirm that food offers hot, cold and room temperature options – check
2 handled sippy cup with juice/water combined to give her some more fine motor development -- check
Extra spoons to replace the ones she’ll grab and throw to the floor
Warm wet baby wash cloth to clean up smeared food on face in hair and on hands --check
Wet and dry paper towels to clean up highchair, floor, table, countertop and me as she drops or throws food during mealtime -- check
Box of Kleenex to tend her never-ending running nose -- check
Much hated Bib that she will tear off at least 5 times during mealtime and throw to
the floor -- check
Toys to occupy her as I prepare more food in case she’s finished my original menu and is demanding more -- check
My cup of coffee to sip infrequently during mealtime -- check

9:10 to 10:10 – Bathe (often a sponge bath because of her dry skin) & Dress Libby Doodle Doo for the day. Play with her



10:10 – 10:20 – Give Libby Doodle Doo second bottle of day



10:20 to 10:30 – Put her down for morning nap. Some days she’ll go down with no fuss. Other days I have to rub or pat her back for 5 to 10 minutes.



10:30 to 11:45 – Libby Doodle Doo naps. During this time I:

Eat breakfast
Clean up kitchen from the Libby Doodle Doo breakfast experience
Unload dishwasher; Reload with breakfast dishes, other items
Transfer clothes into dryer; put in new load of laundry
Make beds
Pick up toys in family room
Hang up coats from morning trip to take Zo Peep to school
Check email at work to see what’s going on
Prepare Libby Doodle Doo’s lunch
Finish my (very cold) cup of morning decaf coffee

11:45 to 11:55 – Wake up Libby Doodle Doo, change diaper



11:55 to 12:55 – Lunch for Libby Doodle Doo (essentially a repeat of breakfast with a different menu. Note that I'm not doing this alone. My Babysitter arrives for work and noontime so she pitches in and helps me throughout the afternoon -- plus she's been running almost all of my out of the house errands for me which is a godsend)



1:00 to 2:00 – Play with Libby Doodle Doo and squeeze in some household chores when I can.



2:00 to 2:15 – Give Libby Doodle Doo afternoon bottle



2:15 to 2:25 – Put Libby Doodle Doo down for afternoon nap



2:25 to 3:45 Libby Doodle Doo naps. During this time I:

Eat lunch
Continue with household chores
Attend to some business issues
Connect with my babysitter on key things we need to accomplish for the day/week
Start prep for dinner

3:45 to 3:50 – Wake up Libby Doodle Doo and change diaper



3:45 to 4:00PM – Little Zo Peep returns from school (babysitter picks her up)



4:00 PM to 5:00– Connect with Little Zo Peep. Review items she’s brought home from school for day. Start her on homework, Give her after school snack. Sometimes she’ll play outside at this time; other times inside.



4:30 PM to 5:30 – Prepare dinner. My babysitter is a life savior here and helps me a lot to get dinner on the table by 5:30 while watching both kids. Zo Peep has begun to help with setting table, etc. On days when my babysitter is not here dinner is not nearly as organized or nutritious.



5:30 to 6:30 – Sit down for family dinner in dining room. Family dinner time is sacred to me. We do it up right -- in the dining room, with plates, glasses, serving dishes, silverware, cloth napkins -- the whole nine yards. When I work (I've been adoption leave for 3 weeks) we do it between

6PM and 7PM, but since I’m home , we’ve moved it up to give me some breathing room on the back end of the evening.



6:30 to 6:45 PM – Dinner cleanup (with great help from my babysitter). Clean up now takes a little longer because Libby Doodle Doo makes quite a mess in the dining room with dinner.



6:45 to 7 PM – Change Libby Doodle Doo into pj’s and give her the final bottle of the day



7PM to 7:15 – Calm Libby Doodle Down and put her to bed. Ideally read a book as a family (depends on time and how ready Libby Doodle Doo is for bed).



7:15 to 7:30 – Get Zo Peep ready for bed. Continue on with homework



7:30 to 8pm – Zo Peep’s after dinner snack, play time with mom. Zo Peep's bath/shower time.

8pm to 9pm – Watch TV or movie with Zo Peep. Cuddle on sofa



9pm – Bedtime for Zo Peep. Brush teeth, read book (if we didn’t do one with Libby). I’ve added responsibilities to Zo Peep with the arrival of Libby Doodle Doo. In return, I’ve pushed back her bedtime by 30 minutes. She really likes this later bedtime.

9PM to 9:15 – I either find myself falling asleep on the family room sofa or I just call it a night and go to bed myself.

So I'm sleeping about 9 hours a night. I used to get by with 6.5 to 7 hours. Why so much sleep now? Maybe I am just paying off a sleep debt and that my body needs more sleep until I do that. Maybe I’m an old geezer and just needing to face that sad fact. Maybe I just don't have the stamina I need -- I experienced the same lack of sleep when I adopted Zo Peep and I don't recall having to sleep so much back then. If anyone out there has some suggestions of how I can make this adjustment faster and better -- please let me know. I welcome any help.

I will say that this morning I woke up a little after 5AM and feel just fine – maybe that’s a sign that I’m starting to regain my equilibrium of sleep. When I awoke so early, I decided to use some of my extra time to start (and complete) an actual post for the blog.

If this morning is any indication, maybe I’ll be able to find the time to post regularly again. I don’t want to over promise, though. I’ll do my best to finish all of those partially completed posts and to complete some new ones. It is my intention to get back to daily posts as soon as I can.

I do know that starting next Monday, I’ll be returning to full time work (much earlier than I had planned and the subject of one of those unfinished posts). Maybe the rigid structure of my workday will force me to sleep less. Maybe I’ll throw in the towel and start consuming mass quantities of caffeine again (I’ve been caffeine free since Christmas). Maybe, maybe, maybe. We’ll see.

It’s 6:15 AM now. Zo Peep just came downstairs to tell me that Libby Doodle Doo is awake and woke her up. My marathon mommy day has just begun again (And it looks like I won’t find time for a shower today – oh well).

Signing off.