Rapunzel, Rapunzel. . .

I may have been too premature yesterday when I said Little Zo Peep was handling the addition of Libby Doodle Doo with great maturity and good humor.

Yesterday in her after-school program Zo Peep took some scissors and cut out big chunks of hair on either side of her head.

This isn’t the first time she’s cut her own hair. Last March the Peep decided that she wanted bangs and snipped some hairs that where falling into her eyes. The damage wasn’t too severe that time and my hair stylist was able to blend it in.

This time I think we’ll be looking at a bob or shorter when she goes for a haircut on Saturday.

Last year when she cut it, we had a long, long talk about how only licensed professionals are allowed to cut hair. She knew that she would be punished if she ever did it again.

When my babysitter brought her home from the after-school program, Zo Peep was convulsing in tears. The babysitter intercepted me before I saw Zo Peep to clue me in to what had happened and to tell me that Zo Peep had been inconsolable ever since her clip job was discovered by the staff.

When I saw her sad, sad face I felt so bad for her because she was frightened about the consequences she was about to face. I couldn’t help thinking that this act was a way to get some more attention from me than she’s received for the last week (I guess bad attention is better than little attention).

Some of you have commented about what a “good” mother I am. Although I appreciate the compliments (who doesn’t), I have to honestly tell you that I don’t see myself as a “good” mother – at least not yet (maybe someday).

Good mothers set rules and boundaries and stick to those parameters consistently. Me – I don’t see the world as black and white. I see a world that is filled with shades of grey. I, therefore, don’t follow parental rules consistently. I am a sucker for extenuating circumstances. My inconsistency is hard on Zo Peep and will be hard on Libby Doodle Doo. I’m trying to be more consistent in enforcing the rules.

Zo Peep was expecting a big punishment last night – the loss of key privileges for several days, the cancellation of a big event that we were planning to attend – something monumental.

But I’m sorry. I just couldn’t do it. I saw the “haircut” as a cry for attention and I couldn’t heap a mountain of grief on top of the sadness and fear by which she was already consumed.

We did talk for awhile about the cut and why she did it. I don’t think I got to the real reasons. I’m not sure she understands the real reason. She promised never to try it again. I told her I must punish her if she ever tries it again. If it does happen again, I hope I can dole out a punishment that is appropriate.

And then I did impose one consequence to the event. I give out points on days Zo Peep is especially good. She saves these points and redeems them for special treats or events. She has been so good this week that she’s gotten a point every day. I told her that this incident meant that she couldn’t earn points for good behavior for yesterday. (She was also close to earning some bonus points – she lost the ability to earn those bonus points, too due to the shearing). I know that it’s lame – but that was the extent of punishment that I gave her.

I made an appointment for Saturday afternoon to get her hair properly cut. I’ll let her call the shots of how short she goes (I hope not too short – but who knows).

In Chinese tradition, everyone gets a haircut before Chinese New Year. With Chinese New Year only days away (Feb 7th), I guess Little Zo Peep will be ahead of the crowd coming in for their own New Year’s haircuts.