Welcome To My Surreal Life

I am starting this post at work right now – taking a break from working on my 2007 performance review – because it just hit me.

This Friday I fly to the other side of the world to meet a baby that I will raise for the rest of her life and for the rest of my life.

How amazing is that?

We don’t even know each other yet – our likes, our temperaments, our inherent faults are all mysteries. And except for a few pictures I’ve seen of her and a couple photos that she has seen of me, we are strangers.

Yet in less than a week after answering a couple questions, filling out a few forms and signing some papers – officials in China are going to hand me this little child and I will be forevermore responsible for her. And she will forevermore be relying on me.

Everything around me still seems as it has always been. Ordinary. Unspectacular. I assembled a meatloaf this morning. I packed Zo Peep’s lunch – cutting the crust off of her sandwich. I did 2 loads of laundry. I wrote a check for Zo Peep’s after school program. Here at work I sat through a meeting about some market research results; discussed a pricing analysis with a member of my team; reviewed a presentation deck and worked on my performance review. Nothing different; nothing strange.

But my world will totally be turned upside down in less than a week and I can start feeling the earth move beneath my feet.

What exactly does this time feel like?

Well my head is spinning with To Do lists – projects for work are co-mingling with packing lists which are co-mingling with details about Zo Peep’s care which are co-mingling with bill paying and calls I have to make. Everything is a big jumble.

Physically, I feel like I’m on massive Caffeine high (and I haven’t had caffeine since before Christmas). My heart is racing a little, my breathing is a little shallow, and my head is aching a bit.

I must look strange, too. Some people say I look a little pre-occupied (You think so?). Others have said I look a little under the weather. I probably look like someone who is in a state of shock. And to be honest – I kind of am.

I think I need to step back and reassemble one massive plan for the rest of the week in order to survive. I know I can do it.

I just need to remember to BREATHE!!!