Sister Chicks

It’s been a week since I first held Libby Doodle Doo in my arms. Although she and I are still getting to know each other, I’ve been thinking a lot of how my two little chicks are similar to each other and how they are different. Little Zo Peep, the Jie Jie, has been with me for almost 5 years. Libby Doodle Doo, the Mei Mei, only a little over 5 days. Let’s look at the similarities and differences that I’ve already noticed. I’ve included some pictures of Libby Doodle Doo taken this week and some of Little Zo Peep from 2003.


Physically

Similarities – Of course, it goes without saying that they are both beautiful (no mommy bias there, right?) The shape of their face is very similar (like an upside down pumpkin seed) as is their skin tone (fair and flawless). Their hair color and texture is almost identical (dark, but with some brown and even red tones in it and very, very silky). They also are both more torso than legs (although Libby Doodle Doo may have a slightly longer torso to leg ratio). They both have longer than average necks, the classic Chinese eyelid (no double eyelid for either girl) and bigger than average ears. Zo Peep has a small Mongolian spot (a blue birthmark common in people of Asian ancestry) on her lower back. For days I didn’t think that Libby Doodle Doo had any. And then at bath time two days ago I found one in the upper crack of her bum.

Differences – Libby Doodle has bigger and rounder eyes than Little Zo Peep. She also has longer eyelashes, and a slightly smaller nose. Little Zo Peep has fuller lips (no collagen for this kid, ever), much longer fingers (if only I could convince her to play the piano) and smaller feet.

And although they both have larger than average ears, Zo Peep's were/are tucked close to her head and Libby Doodle Doo has this cute DUMBO thing going on (especially on the left side). Also, Libby Doodle Doo has the flattest bum I’ve ever seen – how will she ever be able to hold up pants. Also – if we go back to when I met each of them – Libby Doodle Doo has already cut 2 ½ teeth. Zo Peep did not have a tooth in her mouth at this stage.

Personalities

Similarities -- Both girls are loving and affectionate. They both have good senses of humor and love a good laugh. Both have an obstinate streak that will make raising each of them an interesting adventure.

Difference -- Zo Peep is a sweet and lovely child. But from the first time I met her, I always sensed that she was an Old Soul. There always has been a sense of history with her as if she is much older than her birth certificate would indicate. In some photos you can see this sense of experience tinged with just a little bit of sadness in her eyes. Zo Peep has always been a fighter who wanted to regain control. I’ve always gotten the sense that her time before me was filled with some scary situations. From the first moment I met her she fought for days to reject me as a mommy. Once she bonded, she was a Velcro baby – clinging to me for dear life. She still enters any new situation with a little anxiety and with her defenses up.

Libby Doodle Doo is also a sweet and lovely child. In the short time I’ve known her she seems so open and so innocent – she is fascinated by all the wonderment around her. She is good natured and willing to try new things. She has a ready smile for all we encounter and likes to engage with people she meets. I feel that she and I are bonding well, but it doesn’t feel as intense as it did with Zo Peep. It could be because I’m not a first time mommy this time or it could be because each bonding experience is just a little bit different. Libby Doodle Doo seems like she will be more open to new situations and be my “go with the flow” daughter.

Developmentally

Similarities – When I met each of my daughters, neither could sit for long periods without toppling. Neither knew how to crawl. Both could hold their own bottle and could pinch Cheerios from my hand and sometimes get them in their mouths.

Differences – Libby Doodle Doo’s upper and lower body strength is much more advanced than Little Zo Peep’s was. The Doodle is displaying some pre-crawling behavior that I didn’t see in Zo Peep until she was much older. The Doodle can already use a sippy cup (just discovered that today), while Zo Peep needed to learn to use one once we got home. Libby Doodle Doo can also support her body weigh and “stand” if you hold her fingers. Zo Peep couldn’t do that until she had been home for 6 months.

Behavior

Similarities – Both of my daughters like to smile and laugh. They are fascinated when I have eyeglasses or sunglasses on and are quick to yank them off my face. Both girls are sound sleepers once they go to sleep. Both girls much prefer being carried than sitting in a stroller.

Differences – Libby Doodle Doo loves bath time; Little Zo Peep hated the bath. Little Zo Peep is a better eater than the Doodle. Both girls try a wide variety of food, but Zo Peep would actually eat the food, while Libby Doodle Doo will try the food and then play with it. Zo Peep was always a challenge to get to sleep. Although I’ve had a few challenges with Miss Libby Doodle Doo in the last couple days (BTW tonight was no problem), I sense that Libby Doodle Doo will go down without a fuss. Libby Doodle Doo likes to go to sleep in total darkness. Although that’s what I did with Little Zo Peep when she was a baby, the Peep has been using a nightlight for the last few years. Since the girls will be sharing a bedroom, we’ll have to resolve this issue.

I remember that Miss Zo Peep was a much neater eater than I’ve seen from Libby Doodle Doo so far. I may have to put a full body smock and goggles on Libby Doodle Doo when she eats (maybe on me too) and buy a large splat mat to go under her highchair. I also may want to invest in some dishes with suction cups on the bottom or I fear her meals will go flying across the room. My dinner times will certainly be interesting with Miss Doodle. Finally of course, Libby Doodle Doo is a thumb-sucker; while there are no oral fixations for Miss Zo Peep.

So what does all this mean?

Well, one of the reasons I wanted to adopt a second time is because I wanted to have the experience of raising a child who was different than my First born. And even though I've just begin to scratch the surface of knowing Libby Doodle Doo, it looks like I got my wish. I think I can build on whatever parenting skills I already possess and learn some new ones to effectively raise this lovely child.

My new mantra – “Every child is unique; a special snowflake like no other.”