Hen and Chicks

Yes, I know it has been Forever

2010-04-07T20:53:00.005-04:00

Hello all. We three are alive and well and happy clucking away in the Hen House.

My big news is that I recently took a job at a great company (former consulting client of mine) doing the work I love. The girls are still making the adjustment to having a mom who is not around all the time, but they are facing this brave new world like the troopers that they are.

I'd like to return to blogging, but can make no promises. Time has not been my friend for 2 years now and I can't imagine that I'll suddenly find the time to start writing again. It's ironic -- All the time I've spent in the last 2 years squeezing $5 of value out of every paltry dollar I earned is now being spent learning my new company and juggling work and home responsibilities. Different focus -- but same result -- no time to do all the things I like to do.

But since I am writing this post, I did want to share some recent pictures of Little Zo Peep and Libby Doodle Doo. They are both growing up so fast.

And sharing photos of my girls is harder than it sounds. You should know that I've had a dickens of a time getting good photos of the Chickies lately. Separately, the Doodle has learned that fakey, toothy smile that all kids eventually learn. It a rare photo in which I get a spontaneous smile from her. Plus Zo Peep has perfected the skill of crossing her eyes about every time a camera is pointing in her direction. And forget about getting them in a photo together. The Peep has given her little sister "bunny ears" in every single posed photo I've snapped of the two of them since Christmas.

So I'm left to capture candid moments when they -- more or less -- aren't paying attention to what I'm doing.

Here they are in their Easter finery walking home from church. While walking in our little town we had two cars stop to tell me how beautiful the girls looked in their dresses.

Of course, I thought they both looked like angels but it touched my heart that these folks that I had never met would take time to stop and comment on my beauties.

And here is Little Zo Peep right after our annual egg hunt. What a haul.

And here is Libby Doodle Doo counting her eggs.

I'm taking the girls to Disney this weekend to celebrate my new job and also to celebrate an important milestone that they achieved. In late January 2010 the girls earned their 100th bead from the Bead jar (see posting from Feb 08 to remember this incentive that I offered to them to encourage them to get out of the house on time and with no hassle each morning. Well it took almost 2 years to complete, but dang it -- they did it. The girls (especially Peep) are giddy with excitement about this trip.

I hope 5 months won't pass before I post again and I hope all is well with each of you.

Happy Thanksgiving

2009-11-26T09:34:00.003-05:00

I am most thankful for my loving family who is always there in time of need; my supportive friends who are helping me make the transition from an unemployed worrywart to a consultant worrywart; the many, many people who lend a hand so I can manage my three-ring-circus of a life; and -- above all others -- the two little ladies who fill my days with smiles and burps and hugs and tantrums and giggles and whines and all the wonderful behaviors that make these children my daughters.

Wishing you and your loved ones the happiest of holidays.

Surviving Summer

2009-06-29T23:18:00.019-04:00

I believe that there is a special place in heaven reserved for parents who stay at home with kids during the Summer. So for all you out there who have survived /are surviving / or are planning to survive Summer Vacation with your kids -- God Bless You.

The jury is still out on whether I am actually going to make it.

I feel like my workload has quadrupled since the beginning of June. Not only am I STILL cleaning the house, preparing meals, doing laundry, tending the garden, managing household finances, looking for a job AND helping to launch a Marketing Consulting firm -- I'm also refereeing battles between siblings, taxiing children to numerous activities, planning social calendars and stopping every 32 seconds to get a child something to drink or eat; wipe a bum or nose; clean up a spill OR fulfilling one million other tasks that are requested of me.

I'm exhausted.

In May I was ACTUALLY looking forward to Summer Vacation. I thought having 7 year old Little Zo Peep at home would be a big help. In fact, I even joked to someone that after June 5th, I was going to have my own Personal Assistant.

HA!!!

I guess it all comes down to expectations versus reality. I was expecting Miss Peep to become my Personal Assistant. She was expecting me to become her own Personal Concierge.

My gosh -- when did Moms become social secretaries? My mom pushed us outside after breakfast and expected us to amuse ourselves all day long. I'm not sure I agree that these extra duties should be part of a mommy's job description in the 21st century.

Plus, I've never experienced being at home with kiddies for the summer. Last July when I learned about my job loss, I had already pre-paid for daycare for Libby Doodle Doo and summer day camp for Little Zo Peep. So they were both occupied 5 days a week until school started. Once school started, Miss Peep was off in first grade and the Doodle scaled back to 15 hours of daycare each week.

Long story short -- last summer I didn't have anyone staring at me every morning and demanding, "What are we going to do today? I'm SOOOO Bored."

It could be worse. I still have Libby Doodle Doo in daycare for 15 hours a week. That's 15 hours when I don't have both kids demanding constant attention and intervention. Does anyone know how many days until school resumes?

OH, SHAME ON ME. Did you see what I just wrote. I swore I'd never be one of those moms who dread summer vacations with their kids. SHAME ON ME.

OK I'm totally exaggerating here. It's not as bad as I'm making it sound. So to provide some fair balance, I must admit that the summer-so-far has had some sweet moments and that I am seeing that the girls are finding more and more ways to entertain themselves:

1. Berry picking --

Two weeks ago on an early Saturday morning, Little Zo Peep went out to the backyard (still in her jammies) and picked black raspberries from shrubs that have infiltrated our yard from our next door neighbors. She gathered about a pint of berries. When she came in, she announced that she wanted to make a pie.

I knew that there were not enough berries for a pie, but I went online and found a recipe for a lemon/raspberry tart. We stopped by the store for some ingredients (including some red raspberries to supplement the fresh ones she picked) and spent the rest of the afternoon making the tart.

I gotta say -- it looked beautiful and tasted delicious (Here's the Doodle waiting for a bite).

Miss Peep made the crust and assembled the lemon filling (only giving up when her arm got too tired from constant stirring).

Zo Peep has always said that she wanted to be a chef. Maybe she can also consider becoming a pastry chef.

2. Boxes and Peanuts --

I got a shipment a few weeks ago. The items came in one large and one medium sized boxes both filled with packing peanuts. The girls dumped all the peanuts into the larger box and spent about a week and one-half playing in the box. Amazing how much fun diving into a box of packing peanuts can be. They loved hiding in the box with the lid flaps down and jumping out to frighten me. Of course, I knew that they were there every time they did it ( their giggles gave them away), but I acted really surprised every time and they loved scaring mommy over and over again.

3. Shipping boxes redux - When the packing peanuts started to disintegrate from too much jumping and playing, the girls looked for other ways to continue their pretend play. Last week the larger of the boxes was turned upside down and became a clubhouse -- complete with a working door and window. Little Zo Peep cut out the openings with scissors and then pulled out her paint set so that she and her little sister could paint some decorations and signs on the outside. For a few days, the girls wanted to eat in their clubhouse, watch TV through the window and sleep in there too.

The clubhouse is still sitting in the corner of our family room and has become a favorite sleeping place for Egghead the cat.

Today Zo Peep took the smaller packing box and fashioned a robot body using filament tape, rope markers, ipod earbuds, and a piece of tupperware. She played in this robot suit all morning long.

4. Mountain of Pillows -- The girls really missed jumping into the peanuts, too. So last Friday Zo Peep had a great idea and convinced Libby Doodle Doo to help her gather EVERY pillow and cushion in the house (from chairs, sofas, beds, etc) and stack them in the middle of the family room.

I discovered the project when I caught them each pulling bed pillows behind them and giggling non-stop. Zo Peep begged me to let them finish their mountain, so I acquiesced. About 30 minutes later she led me into the family room with my eyes closed.

The pillow mountain was 12 ft across and 4 feet high. I made sure that the perimeter of the mountain was away from any object that could cause harm if hit and then let the girls jump into the pillow for the next hour or so.

About 30 minutes before dinner I told them that they needed to put away all the pillows and if they completed the task in a half hour I would give them a special treat. Twenty two minutes later the last pillow had been put away and the three of us started dinner with dessert -- a mint chocolate ice cream cone.

Now we've done lots this summer -- 2 trips to an Amusement Park, a week of semi-private dance lessons, a week of vacation bible school, a visit to an observatory, 2 picnic dinners at a local park, a couple outdoor concerts, 4 movies, trips to the swimming pool, and a couple trips to various museums.

But so far, it's these little moments are the ones that I'll remember most from my time home with the girls and I hope we have more of these experiences before the Summer ends.

(P.S. The only way I found time to write this post is because I got a babysitter to watch the girls this afternoon while I caught up on a million chores. Don't know when I'll get another breather to post again -- hope soon.)

Update on Contest Submission

2009-06-25T14:28:00.002-04:00

Once again, thanks to everyone who voted.

I have submitted the 6 photos of Libby Doodle Doo to the Parents Magazine Cover contest. You can see the ones I selected by clicking here (and feel free to rate them and/or leave a comment if you'd like).

http://www.parents.com/photos/photo-contests-1/cover-kid-1/892500125/?photoId=892200466&galleryIdx=0&fromSearch=true

I was most surprised by how many of you liked the far-away look in the blue dress. I liked that photo, too -- but wouldn't have picked it as one of the final 6 without your input. Looks like others agree with y'all because it's already gotten some good ratings and comments from folks who have looked at my photos. I did decide to only submit one of the "Looking Away From the Camera" shots -- since almost everyone else was submitting photos in which their kids were looking straight to the camera.

I did a quickee tour through the competition and think that my photos may not be as good as some, but are much better than many other entries.

The contest closed last evening and there are more than 40 thousand kids entered -- so the odds don't look good for our Libby Doodle Doo. I'll find out if she's a semifinalist around July 15th.

If she makes it to that round, I have to take 5 NEW photos of her and submit those back to the magazine in less than a week. Those are the photos that will be used to determine who will become finalist (seems like a strange step to me, but I guess they use it to make sure that the photos are current and are being taken by the parents (not professional). I'm guessing in that round they will tell you PRECISELY what to photograph (e.g. "Photo of child blowing bubbles," etc). Helen K from the UK has been giving me a lot of photographic tutorials over the last 4 weeks, so I feel confident I can apply all her lessons if we are lucky enough to get that far.

But -- as I said before -- whether she wins, moves on to become a semifinalist, or never makes it past this round -- I have some great photos of the Doodle and -- more importantly -- I have learned a lot about how to use my camera so that I can capture better photos of her (and Miss Peep) in the future.

Thanks again.

Final Photo Contest -- Ends Wed Morning

2009-06-21T20:28:00.016-04:00

So this is the week. -- The week to submit 6 photos of Libby Doodle Doo to the Parents magazine cover contest. Actually the deadline is this Wednesday June 24th -- so vote now.

I've spent some time during the last week looking at covers of Parents and photos of past winners (that's last year's winner at the beginning of this post) to get a feel for what the judges may be looking for. And I've looked through the photos that you folks liked best to determine which ones should be submitted in this final judging. I only included photos that got at least 33% of the votes -- even if it was one of the top 6 that week. So once I applied that criteria , I had less than 18 to post here . To give you some variety in this last vote, I rounded out the list with some photos that I thought showed a range of facial expressions and poses (a few of which are ones that I haven't posted yet).

The criteria that the judges are using to pick the semi-finalists (and therefore I'm suggesting the ones we should use here too) include:

34% Appearance of the child
33% How well the photo captures the child's personality
33% Quality of photo (this one has been tough since I'm not that great at photography)

What they don't say in the rules (but was clear after I looked at past years winners) is that they want photos where the child is looking directly into the camera and that they want the child to look happy, joyful, playful, sweet, silly, etc. (not serious, pensive, etc)

I'm allowed to submit 6 photos. I figure I'll include 4 to 5 in which the Doodle is looking directly into camera (showing a variety of facial expressions -- most happy) and 1 to 2 in which she is not looking into the camera. I want to show variety in my submission -- different hairstyles, different clothes, different poses.

So I've divided this final vote into 2 separate contest -- one in which you'll pick the best of the "Looking straight into the camera" shots and one in which you'll pick the best of the "Looking away from the camera" photos.

************************************************
PHOTOS LOOKING STRAIGHT TO CAMERA (choose 5)

#1

#2

#3

#4

#5

#6

#7

#8

#9

#10

**************************************
PHOTOS LOOKING AWAY FROM CAMERA (choose 2)

#11

#12

#13

#14

#15

Finally, I want to thank all of you who have helped me narrow down the photos for this contest. I appreciate your input. And whether Libby Doodle Doo gets to be a finalist, wins, or doesn't get any further than the first round -- I now have about 20 lovely photographs capturing her at a little over 2 years old.

So we're a winner -- no matter what happens.

Monday Photo Contest -- Round #3

2009-06-15T07:03:00.001-04:00

(As a reminder, I'm entering a photo contest at the end of June where I can submit 6 photos of Libby Doodle Doo. Every Monday in June I will post 18 photos from the previous week and let everyone vote on which ones are best.)

Thanks to everyone who voted last week. This past week there were more photos receiving at least 33% of the vote -- so a bigger selection from which to select the finalists. Once again, thanks to all who voted and gave me your input.

We hit the wall with photographs this week and I'm surprised I even found 18 shots to post here. It seems that whenever I pick up the camera, Libby Doodle Doo turns around and hides her face from me. I don't think this child is destined for a career as a supermodel -- which is AOK by me. Here are the next 18. You can vote for up to 6 in the poll on the right:

#1

#2

#3

#4

#5

#6

#7

#8

#9

#10

#11

#12

#13

#14

#15

#16

#17

#18

Monday Photos -- Round #2

2009-06-08T09:12:00.000-04:00

Thanks to everyone who voted last week. There certainly were some favorites from that last batch of photos. Here are the next 18. You can vote for up to 6 in the poll on the right.

I gotta tell you this photography thing is really hard. I have SUCH an appreciation for professional photographers after the last 2 weeks. It is so difficult to get all elements to align (properly framed, in focus, good unique expression, correct exposure, etc, etc) to end up with a really good picture.

Plus, I've noticed a huge difference between photographing Libby Doodle Doo versus her big sister Little Zo Peep. The Peep was always very cooperative when I took photos and always gave me great facial expressions. The Doodle is not very cooperative at all and will happily sneer at me for 40 to 50 frames. Of course, I think that they are adorable sneers; but I'm guessing not the stuff that wins photography contests. Here are this week's photos.

#1

#2

#3

#4

#5

#6

#7

#8

#9

#10

#11

#12

#13

#14

#15

#16

#17

#18

. . . And this one is here just for fun. Zo Peep was helping me during the pink sweater session and laid in the grass near the end. Libby Doodle Doo (always the copycat) laid down beside her and I got a lovely shot of the two of them.

The Gentle Arms of China

2009-06-06T19:31:00.002-04:00

This has been my "Moby Dick" video -- the one that kept getting away. I first edited this video last July, but while I was putting it together, my computer seized up and I lost it. I tried again last Christmas, but had an Apple employee delete it as he was performing routine maintenance. I decided to give it one more try this week.

The backstory on the video is that I wanted to create a piece that celebrated the amazing, ancient culture to which my girls were born. I've set the footage to a bluegrass tune -- Gentle Arms of Eden.

I hope you enjoy.

Catnip

2009-06-04T06:39:00.023-04:00

In honor of our newest family member -- Egghead, the cat -- I'm calling this post Catnip -- little minty tidbits about what's going on in the Hen House.

The Only Tidbit About the Cat

Egghead is a sweet cat -- happy to sit on your lap and purr, but capable of some silly play. We're all making the adjustment to him -- with Zo Peep doing the best. Little Zo Peep has shown amazing responsibilities and cleans the litter box every morning when she first wakes up. She also keeps Egghead's water and food dish full. They sleep together at night -- so cute. I'm so impressed with my First born girl.

As for me - I am still not cognizant that Egghead is always at my feet. I've stepped on the poor animal more times than I'd like to remember. Also, I have -- on 3 occasions (how shameful) -- inadvertently trapped him inside a closet/cabinet into which he had slipped as I was putting away items. That cat can move quickly.

Libby Doodle Doo is still hot and cold with Egghead. Sometimes she is openly affectionate and crouches down to pet him. Other times she visibly shakes in his presences and runs to me to be picked up. She definitely freaks out if she is laying down (in her crib, on the changing table, etc) and Egghead comes anywhere near her. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to help her get more comfortable with this cat? By the way the Doodle has a pronounced fear of dogs, too. I'd like to help her overcome these fears, but am flummoxed on how to do it.

We did have one scare with Egghead that I'd like to share. Five days after we had adopted him, Zo Peep and I were stopping in a local grocery store on our way home from a doctor's appointment. As we entered the store a notice on the Community Bulletin Board caught my eye -- a poster for a Lost Cat with a picture that looked EXACTLY like Egghead. I read the description on the notice -- brown nose: check, silver grey stripes: check, white paws and chest: check. Even the description of the cat's personality fit Egghead -- loving, playful, likes people.

Zo Peep exclaimed, "That's XXX (Egghead's real name)." And she began to cry.

What was I to do? What would you do? Egghead was a stray who was turned into our local shelter. What if this family has been searching for him all this time? I couldn't ignore this family's plight - so I pulled out my cell phone and called. Fortunately, the woman told me that they had found their cat the previous day and that SHE was so happy to be home. WHEWW! Wish the family had included info on the poster that the cat was a She -- would have saved me (and especially Zo Peep) some anxious moments.

I mentioned before that Egghead is a playful cat. He loves playing with toys -- but not the cat toys we bought for him. His favorite toys are Zo Peep's dirty socks, some furry white mittens (the Peep calls them her Polar Bear mittens) that belong Miss Peep and an inflated latex balloon. It's hilarious to watch the cat play with the balloon. I want to try to capture it on video. Hey, maybe I'll have a submission for America's Funniest Home Video (Note to self -- this may be another Lucy Ricardo money-making scheme).

Little Zo Peep -- Future Painter

This is the last week of school and Little Zo Peep has been bringing various projects home every night. Last night she brought home some paintings that she did in art class. One is a rendition of the caterpillar in the Eric Carle book The Very Hungry Caterpillar.

I really like her layering of color in the body of the caterpillar. I also think the sun she drew was very cute and expressive I'm showing some close-ups of those elements:

I also fell in love with a painting/crayon drawing she did inspired by Van Gogh's Sunflowers. Her brush strokes in this painting are lovely. I think I'll get this one framed for posterity.

My Days As A Stylista Are Almost Over

Every day Libby Doodle Doo is expanding her vocabulary. It's wonderful hearing her express her thoughts and emotions with words. But one of her recent verbal additions was met with my grave disappointment.

About 10 days ago when I was dressing the Doodle in a cotton short-sleeved sweater, she pointed to the sweater and said, "Itchy."

OH NOOOOO!!!! Libby Doodle Doo is expressing her opinion about the clothes I have selected for her.

I've been down this road before with Zo Peep -- I know where this is all heading. First, she'll reject clothes I select because of comfort issues Then, she'll reject clothes based on color. And finally she'll reject clothes simply because Mama has selected them.

I LOVE putting together outfits for Miss Doodle. I LOVE hearing other folks compliment me on her style (really my style). This one little word -- Itchy -- signifies the beginning of the end of my career as a baby stylist.

I only hope that in the last 18 months Miss Doodle has absorbed some of my talent to make stylish choices in the future. That talent hasn't shown up in her older sister. I have to admit Zo Peep doesn't have any sense of style -- she's a comfort-all-the-way chick.

Don't Forget to Vote

If you haven't already voted for the six best photos from my first week of Doodle pix -- please do so. And tell your friends to vote too. The more votes the better. Looks like there are some clear favorites so far.

And thank you Helen for the photography tips. I'm going to try some of those in this week's photo sessions. By the way, I wanted everyone to know that Libby Doodle Doo doesn't have freakishly big man hands (even though it looks that way in photo # 15). I was laying on my belly looking up at her when I shot that photo -- thus distorting the size of her hands. I've got to be careful of angles as I take these photos in the future.

Monday Photo Contest -- Vote early; Vote often

2009-06-01T19:51:00.009-04:00

My newest Lucy Ricardo scheme to make money during this stretch of unemployment is to have Libby Doodle Doo win a national photo contest and bank her winnings into a college savings account.

The contest allows me to submit up to 6 photos (photos must be taken by a non-professional) and the deadline is June 24th. So I've been taking snapshots of her for the last week and plan to continue to take them throughout the month in hopes of getting 6 great ones that I can submit on the 24th.

The joy of a digital camera is that I can take 100 photos at one sitting before she gets cranky. The downside is that I have hundreds of photos to sift through in order to find some good ones. And in addition, I have so much mommy bias that I have a hard time selecting ones that others would also find enchanting (because -- of course -- I love 'em all).

That's where you come in.

Each Monday I will post the 18 "cream of the crop" pix's from the previous week's photo shoots. Your job is to pick the six shots that you think are best. Then on Monday June 22nd, I'll post the 18 winners from the previous 3 weeks and you'll help me pick the 6 that I should submit to the contest.

The criteria that the judges are using to pick the semi-finalists (and therefore I'm suggesting the ones we should use here too) include:

33% Appearance of the child
33% How well the photo captures the personality of the child
33% Quality of photo (this one will be tough since I'm not that great at photography)

Here are this week's photos

#1

#2

#3

#4

#5

#6

#7

#8

#9

#10

#11

#12

#13

#14

#15

#16

#17

#18

I'm going to put a poll on the sidebar to allow you to vote. Voting will be open until next Monday.

Also, if anyone can give me advice on how to take better pictures -- outside vs. in, time of day, what color she should wear, hairstyles, etc -- please let me know. I need all the help I can get.

(BTW -- here are the results of another "Lucy Ricardo" money-making scheme. Little Zo Peep was selected to appear in her first TV commercial 2 weeks ago. That's $200 to go into her college fund. I hope to get a copy of the ad and post it here for all to see -- if she doesn't end up on the cutting room floor).

Introducing Egghead

2009-05-24T13:16:00.006-04:00

I'd like to introduce you all to the newest member of the family -- Egghead the cat (not his real name, but used to protect his identity on the privacy-challenged Internet).

A few fun facts about Egghead:

He is not a kitten -- We went to the shelter to adopt a kitten. We stopped at Target first and stocked up on all the necessary supplies (including Kitten Chow). Once we got to the shelter we looked at the kittens and selected on to meet personally in the interaction room. The first cat we met was a 2 month old kitten --real cute, too a grey short hair with tiger stripes. I watched Little Zo Peep play with her and thought our mission was accomplished. But -- much to my surprise -- Zo Peep came over to me after about 5 minutes and whispered in my ear, "Mommy I think I want a calmer kitten."

I told the adoption counselor what Miss Peep had said. The counselor -- Beth -- was very surprised (I think she doesn't see many kids who aren't entrenched on the notion of getting a frisky little kitten). She explained to Zo Peep that kittens -- by definition -- aren't calm. Beth suggested that Zo Peep may want to try an older cat -- one that is a year or two old.

Once again, I was amazed when Little Zo Peep agreed to look at grown cats. K - our former babysitter and cat-expert who accompanied us to give advice -- told Zo Peep who proud she was that the Peep was considering a fully grown cat. K explained to Zo Peep that most people who come to the shelter want kittens only so that the older cats sometimes never get adopted. I watched Zo Peep's reaction to K's story. I could see her resolve grow as she digested K's words. I knew then that an older cat would be coming home with us.

By the way -- Libby Doodle Doo was totally freaked out by the kitten. She sat in my lap shaking the entire time the kitten was in the room and would try to climb up my torso and onto my head any time the kitten would dart in our direction.

He is a HE

I told Little Zo Peep that we needed to get a female cat. Both K and my sister warned me that male cats can develop urination problems where they will constantly mark their territories. I did not want my house smelling of cat urine.

So after seeing the female kitten, Beth brought in several grown female cats. The first (a beautiful cat) was too shy and stayed under the bench in the room during the entire visit. The second was missing an eye. She was a friendly cat, but I think the missing eye bothered Zo Peep and she came over to whisper to me that she only wanted to see cats with 2 eyes. Miss Peep is mature enough to get an older cat over a kitten -- but not so mature to give her heart to a one-eyed cat.

So none of these cats fit the bill for Zo Peep. Fortunately, Miss Doodle's reaction to both of these cats was much improved. She got off my lap and tried to coax the first cat out of her hiding place and she petted the one-eyed cat.

After the one-eyed cat, Beth probed me on the reason for my desire for a female cat. I told her my rationale and K shared her personal experience. Beth insisted that -- although some cats exhibit that behavior -- indiscriminate urination is rare and is not a male-only issue. She wanted to show us some young (a year or so) male cats who were extremely friendly. I agreed.

Next Beth brought in the cardboard carrier which held Egghead. As soon as she opened the top, Egghead peered out of the carrier and Zo Peep was smitten. He's a beautiful cat -- very small (not as big as the females we had seen) with a silver coat with subtle stripes. He also has a white breast and white feet. Even before Egghead jumped out of the box, Zo Peep had declared:

"This is the cat I want. Can we take him home, mommy?"

Oh, Little Zo Peep -- how quick you are to jump into a long-term relationship based on some guy's good looks. I can't wait until Zo Peep's teenage years to see if that is the same criteria she uses to pick boyfriends.

But I have to admit that once Egghead left the carrier and started interacting with Zo Peep, the Doodle and me -- I , too, was convinced that this was our cat. He was VERY friendly ad crawled into Zo Peep's lap to purr. He also nuzzled with Libby Doodle Doo -- and she let him do it. We had found our cat.

So, we all went into the shelter expecting to adopt a Female Kitten and left with an ADULT MALE CAT.

As we know -- The best laid plans of mice and men (and moms) oft go awry.

(Oh, I have no photos of Mr. Egghead yet. The battery in my digital camera died -- I discovered this problem at Zo Peep's birthday party -- and I can't find the recharger. I may have to go to a camera store today and get a new one.)

(And another thing -- Little Zo Peep hasn't settled on a name for the cat yet. She wants to try on different names for the next week until she finds one that fits him best. I'm doing some heavy lobbying for Egghead and every time I say it she just rolls her eyes and walks away.)

It's called a Bash -- a Birthday Bash

2009-05-23T21:46:00.003-04:00

Last Thursday -- May 21st-- was Little Zo Peep's 7th birthday (Don't get me started on how quickly she is growing up). We had a party after school for her and some of her friends.

For the last several years - in fact- I've had backyard birthday parties for Little Zo Peep and have kept to a small guest list of 5 to 10 kids.

Little Zo Peep's birthday parties have not always been so low key.

Once upon a time -- when Little Zo Peep was turning 4 -- I decided that we should host her very first kids' birthday party (We had done relatives-only before this). I had decided to have the party at the local Zoo and invited all the kids from her daycare (the Peep had been with these kids since I had adopted her). When I added in siblings of her daycare classmates and a few extra kids that we knew -- the guest list exceeded 30 kids.

30+ kids!!! What was I thinking!!!

But I didn't stop there. When I received the contract from the Zoo about possible activities, I went crazy. I opted for the animal interaction demonstration (including a hedgehog, a boa constrictor, a bunny and a lizard) AND an animal craft project AND a story teller AND party games AND a pinata. During the party -- I was overwhelmed by all the hoopla and how over-the-top it all was.

To this day I still cringe at the yuppie excessiveness of that event. My gosh -- if this was Zo Peep's 4th birthday party -- what would I be doing for her Sweet 16? Balloon rides in Napa Valley? A Runway shows in Paris? Skiing in the Andes? So I learned from this rookie mistake.

On the way home that night, I vowed to only have small, house-based parties for the Peep. And that is what's we've done ever since. The parties require much more planning and effort on my part, but they are much more manageable, a lot cheaper, more creative and -- I think -- more fun.

For example:

For her 5th birthday we had a Balloon theme (my niece -- an architecture student -- designed the invitations). We had a balloon relay race, balloon cookies that they could decorate and a guy at the end who made balloon animals for the kids. For our take -home party favor, I rented a helium tank where kids could create their own balloon bouquet.

For her 6th birthday, we had a Cooking theme. The invitations were on recipe cards (e.g. Ingredients: 1 birthday girl, a bunch of friends, 3 party games, etc). When the guests arrived, we had paper chef hats for the kids to decorate. For games we had a "carrying popcorn in a ladle relay" and also had a blindfolded "guess the food" contest. Plus the kids helped prepare our lunch (corn/black bean salad, tacos, & guacamole). Party favors were put inside oven mitts and included some treats plus measuring spoons and a spatula.

This year -- for birthday #7 (still can't believe she is 7) we had a Luau party. Invitations were on a message inside a plastic bottle (with a little bit of sand for good measure).

We asked guest to wear bathing suits and had grass skirts, leis and a hibiscus flower (for their hair) to put on when they arrived. For activities we had a hula contest, water balloon toss, a limbo contest and a squirt bottle attack free-for-all. Dinner included pulled pork sliders, a tropical lemon cole slaw, a piña colada salad and build-your-own fresh fruit kabobs. The girls seemed to have a blast.

I share these birthday ideas because someone may want to use them for their own kids. I know that I'm going to re-use at least some of these ideas for Libby Doodle Doo. It's fair to say that each of these parties took me some time to plan and coordinate (certainly more than writing a check to the Zoo) -- so its nice to think that the initial work can be used again and again. But in spite of the time and effort, I think these home-made parties are totally worth it.

Before going to bed on Thursday, Little Zo Peep was sitting on the floor putting together one of her gifts when she looked up at me and said:

"Thanks for the party, Mom. It was lots of fun."

Totally worth it.

Now today we have another big event. We are expanding our family.

No it's not what you think.

Today at 2 PM Libby Doodle Doo, Little Zo Peep and I will go to a local animal shelter and get a kitten. Little Zo Peep has been wanting a cat for the last 2 years and I promised her that she could have one for her 7th birthday.

Zo Peep is giddy with excitement. I don't think she slept very much last night. I honestly

think that she is more excited about this kitten than she was for her birthday -- and that's saying a lot.

I'll post on Sunday to introduce you to our new little addition.

Mementos from Mother's Day

2009-05-17T09:20:00.002-04:00

Oh, what a busy week I've had. I began this post last Monday and am only completing it this morning. I hope everyone had a lovely Mother's Day last Sunday. Here are some highlights of our weekend:

A Milestone Mother's Day

Every Mother's Day is special, but a few of them have really stood out for me. I remember the first Mother's Day that occurred as I was completing the paperwork to adopt Little Zo Peep. It was the first time in my life that I knew I was finally on the road to motherhood. I was so excited with anticipation. Next, I remember the first Mother's Day that Little Zo Peep was in my arms. We had just returned from China and were still in a self-imposed quarantine due to concerns about SARS -- so we spent the entire day at home alone.

I vividly remember holding my beautiful baby throughout that day and feeling a calm inner peace. And Mother's Day, 2008 was also special because it was my first with both Little Zo Peep and Libby Doodle Doo. I looked at my two exquisite girls and knew my family was now complete -- a lovely, satisfying feeling. Each of these Mother's Days were so special and unique.

So I had -- incorrectly --- thought that my days of milestone Mother's Days had passed.

Not so.

A Recap of My Day

This year I had my first Mother's Day in which my own children decided to make a big deal out of the day -- with no prompting from relatives or baby sitters or anyone else. For the first time Little Zo Peep embraced the idea of making Mother's Day a special day for me and dragged the Doodle into the role of co-party planner. I had never before experienced my girls orchestrating a celebration for me -- what an amazing experience.

First, Zo Peep bugged me for weeks about finding someone to take her and Libby Doodle Doo shopping to buy me proper Mother's Day presents. I was so touched by her fervor. I finally convinced my nephew to take the girls shopping but due to some delays and mix-ups, he got to my house too late to take the girls to the local mall. We opted, instead, to have him accompany them to the large chain drug store that is 2 blocks away from my house. Of course, I imagined Mother's Day gifts of Tums or Feminine Hygiene Products -- but the actual gift didn't matter. The girls wanted to buy me something that they thought I would like -- that's why it was so special. When they returned home I was instructed to go into the dining room and cover my eyes as they brought the booty into the house. So sweet.

Next when I picked them up from daycare/after school on the Friday before Mother's Day, they both had craft gifts for me. But Zo Peep was earnest that I could not see these items until Sunday. The trip from the center to the car was a little difficult with my eyes covered -- but I played along to keep the surprise concealed until the proper unveiling.

Finally, we spent Saturday night all sleeping in my bed -- sort of a big family sleepover. Little Zo Peep woke up early on her own and scampered away to the kitchen to make breakfast. I woke up a little later and called from the stairs to make sure that she was OK. She ordered me to stay put and so I went back to bed and read a magazine until the Doodle woke up and the Peep finished her breakfast surprise.

(I've retold this story to several folks this week and most are shocked that I would allow Little Zo Peep at age 6 years, 354 days to prepare and cook breakfast (using our gas stove) with no adult supervision. I can only say that Miss Peep has been an active participant in cooking and baking since she was 3-1/2 and that I have full confidence that she knows how to properly use the stove, small appliances and cooking utensils.)

Zo Peep came in with a tray containing breakfast -- coffee, dried prunes (an odd choice) and pancakes with maple syrup. The pancakes were rather gummy & heavy (yes, she can use a stove, but she hasn't mastered following a recipe)-- but I finished every last bite.

Then, the girls exited my room and returned with the parade of gifts. First, came the school crafts -- an essay that Zo Peep wrote, a card with a hand print from Libby Doodle Doo, a flower made from pipe cleaners from the Doodle and a potted marigold in a Peep-painted flower pot. Next, the drug-store gifts -- some floral-scented lotion with a candle from Libby Doodle Doo and a box of Russell Stover mixed chocolates from Little Zo Peep. I gave my own mom boxes of candy (Russell Stover, Whitman Samplers) for Mother's Day when I was a kid. How nostalgic that Zo Peep would continue the tradition.

Breaking every healthy-eating rule imaginable, I opened the chocolates and allowed the girls to each have a piece. Just like I had done as a child, they selected their piece, took a tiny bite, made a yucky face, and returned the partially-eaten candy to its slot in the box. Some things never, ever change.

The rest of the day returned to a more normal one for me. Little Zo Peep had left the kitchen in a disaster -- covered in flour and coffee grounds and sticky syrup (clean up is not one of her strong suits). The skillets she used for cooking were a particular mess -- the coagulated glue-like pancake batter was cemented onto the inside and outside of the pan. (It took me until Wednesday with numerous re-washings to completely remove the last remnants).

So most of the day was filled with cleaning and cooking and playing with the kids.

Remembering our Birth moms

One final event of our Mother's Day was honoring the girls' birth mothers. On Saturday we went to a local party store and I let the girls pick out a balloon for each of their birth moms (I get mylar because it will stay inflated until Sunday). Libby Doodle Doo selected a flower in a pot balloon and Miss Peep selected a huge heart-shaped one.
The plan was to release the balloons early on Mother's Day so that they could float to China to each girls' birth mother. We did this last year and wanted to make this event an annual tradition. ( BTW I posted this idea on an online adoption forum and received a lecture about littering and about the environmental impact of releasing mylar balloons. I apologize to those that are upset by this activity, but did it anyhow. I promise to atone for this environmental sin in some other way).

This year, Little Zo Peep wrote a note to attach to her balloon. It said:

Dear Birth Mom,

I don't remember you, but I still miss you. Thank you for taking care of me when I was a little baby. From one of your girls.

And then she signed her Chinese name.

After picking up the balloons on Saturday, we all went out to an authentic Chinese restaurant for dinner and the staff was nice enough to translate the note into Chinese for Zo Peep.

On Sunday, I took pictures of each girl with her balloon and we went outside to release them. As they floated away I took photos of the balloons flying away to China.

When it was over, Little Zo Peep told me that next year I should get a balloon for my Birth Mom too. What a great addition. Next year we'll watch their Birth Mom balloons drift away to China and my Mom's balloon fly to heaven.

I guess -- from this point onward -- all of my Mother's Days can't help but be special.

The Lucy Ricardo School of Unemployment

2009-05-04T09:41:00.008-04:00

Welcome to the Lucy Ricardo School of Unemployment. You remember Lucy Ricardo don't you? She was the lead character in I Love Lucy -- a classic 50's sitcom that I used to watch in black and white re-runs as a kid.

Lucy was always coming up with some ditsy scheme for making money or becoming famous. Usually the scheme turned into a disaster and much slapstick & merriment ensued.

Since becoming unemployed I feel like Lucy Ricardo sometimes as I brainstorm different ways to generate income to keep my family afloat. Sure I'm doing strategic things too -- looking for consulting gigs, expanding my search to include teaching jobs at universities, but lately it's the crazy pursuits that are keeping me busy. Here are some of the wacky/off-beat money-making projects I've done since losing my job last summer:

You Ought to Be in Pictures -- Part 1 -- Last September I read an article about how our city is seeing an increase in movie and television productions due to some attractive tax incentives. I thought that I could jump on this gravy train. So I contacted the local film office and submitted the Hen House to their location library. I had to submit a photo portfolio of the house from all angles -- both inside and out. The locations librarian sent me a note thanking me and commenting that it looked like a great house. Now, I just need a Location Scout to come to the film office and say, "I'm looking for an Arts and Craft bungalow with nice gardens and a sweet homespun feel." And voila -- The Hen House can be a star -- while its inhabitants make some greenbacks.

You Ought to Be in Pictures -- Part 2 -- Later in the Fall, someone told me about a casting call for extras for a movie. That opportunity had already passed, but I took the time to submit Libby Doodle Doo and Little Zo Peep to the most respected casting agent in the region.

I'll be honest, I did this with some trepidation. I want the girls to have childhoods -- not careers. But I rationalized that if they were only being extras in movies/TV, that we wouldn't have to come into contact with that crazy stage mom world. Quickly I started to think that this entire undertaking was a scam, to boot.

For their applications I had to submit two photos of each girl and give their basics vital statistics --- age, hair color, height, weight, sizes, etc. As I was submitting the online application, I kept getting pop up windows urging me to take my data entry to the next level -- for a modest monthly fee. No thanks. I'll just do the free Basic application.

After I completed the online sign-up, I started getting emails every week telling me how my daughters' profiles were not optimized and not search-able by national casting agents until I signed up for the Premium Service. Talk about bait and switch. I was about to pull both girls' profiles when I got my first call to have Little Zo Peep come for an audition for an ice cream commercial. So maybe this is legit afterall.

The audition required Zo Peep to speak on camera. They want her to speak!! Yikes!! If you've ever looked at my YouTube videos in which Miss Peep talks (Referral Day, 3 Little Christmas Trees), you know that she has a tiny little voice that I think only Horton the Elephant can hear (and maybe me because my ear is used to it).

Zo Peep did a great job at the audition -- not too nervous. She spoke the lines like a champ -- honestly I was quite surprise how expressive -- yet natural-- she sounded. Problem is -- no one could hear her but me. The panel asked her to repeat the lines as loudly as she could -- and the second time she reached a volume that was barely audible. Hey, it was an experience.

Just last week I got a call for both girls to audition for a TV ad for a hospital -- no speaking lines required. YEAHHH! When we went into the audition room the agency person commented on how beautiful the girls were. One of the casting agents said they looked like angels from heaven (wasn't that nice). Zo Peep answered their questions politely and without a hint of nervousness. The Doodle was uncomfortable with the bright lights and the row of people sitting at the table and -atypical for her -- shy. She did muster a really cute and really loud "Bye, Bye." at the end.

We'll find out if they got a part this week or next. If they do get any work, I'm planning to put the income into their college funds -- I haven't made any contributions to that since last summer. Once I get a job, I'm planning to have them retire from acting.

Contest. Sure I Can Enter A Contest -- The week before last I found out about a video contest sponsored by Johnson & Johnson and YouTube. The purpose of the Big Bubblin Star contest was to create a short video of a parent and happy baby interacting during a bubble bath. Grand Prize is $10,000. Wouldn't that be a nice addition to the college fund? When I found out about the contest there were only 5 days left to submit the video.

So I got cracking. For my submission, I rewrote the lyrics to some famous old time songs that are in the Public Domain (Take Me Out to the Ballgame, I’m Just Wild About Harry and Toot, Toot Tootsie Goodbye) and created lyrics having to do with bubble bath time. Then I put my video camera on a tripod, plopped Libby Doodle Doo into the kitchen sink filled with bubbles and hit RECORD.

To avoid any other copyright problems (a big no-no in the contest) – I sang these songs a cappella. Trust me, this is not a pretty sight or a delight to the ears. What I lack in vocal talent, I try to make up through volume and enthusiasm. Here's the video:

I find out tomorrow if we made it to one of the top 9 semi-finalist. The next phase of the contest is a public voting component. If we make it that far, I'll be begging all of you and your friends and their friends to go and vote for us.

Lucy Ricardo would be so proud of me.

UPDATE -- My video did NOT make one of the top 9. Maybe I wasn't telegenic enough, maybe Libby Doodle Doo didn't seem happy throughout (she did get a little PxxxxD when I tried to put bubbles on her chin and in her hair). Whatever the reason -- sometimes you hit a home run; sometimes you strike out. Lucy Ricardo always tried again and so will I.

Quiet, Too Quiet

2009-05-02T08:04:00.009-04:00

As a single mom, I cherish the moments that Little Zo Peep and Libby Doodle Doo go off and spend time together on their own. It shows me how much they have really bonded as sisters. Plus, it gives me a little by-myself time -- something I don't get very often.

They are together right now in the attic playroom.

I've told Little Zo Peep that she can't have friends over until that playroom is put back in order (it's been a wreck since her last friend came over 3 weeks ago -- and I refuse to clean it). This morning Miss Peep has convinced her baby sister to go up there and help her clean the mess.

Now having the two of them go off together and work on a project can result in a disaster. For example, the day after Easter they were quietly working on a project downstairs for over an hour. It was quiet -- too quiet. When I called down to ask them what they were doing, Zo Peep replied, "Just playing."

I should have gone down and checked on them, but I was selfishly enjoying my alone time. After an hour, I heard them walk up the basement steps and exit the house from the side door landing. I ran outside to find every exposed inch of skin on their faces, arms, hands, legs, and feet -- covered with red ink. You see, they had both received Easter stamps and a red ink pad the day before and they were stamping each other with various Easter designs. They put so many designs on their skin that the red ink just merged together into one big red mess. It took days for the final remnant of that red ink to wash away.

But not every sister bonding event turns into a huge problem. Last week they went upstairs at the end of the school day to change into play clothes. They were up there longer than I expected. When I called up the stairs to check on them, Zo Peep called back, "Don't come up mom, we're going to surprise you."

After the ink experience I wanted to fly up the stairs. Instead I cut them slack and let them be. About 10 minutes later they came downstairs in matching sports attire.

Clearly, Little Zo Peep tried to match the outfits as much as possible -- right down to the Steelers Terrible Towels hanging from their belt loops. I had to take them outside for some photos.

So which path will this morning's sisterhood project take -- cuteness or catastrophe?

Time will tell.

Update -- No bad incidents -- but not much cleaning either. Zo Peep went back into the attic crawl space and found some old costume jewelry that had belong to my mother. She played with that most of the time. Libby Doodle Doo carried a pair of plastic Cinderella high heels down to the kitchen, put them on and went clicking and clacking throughout the house.

A Visit to Parenting Future , Past and Present

2009-04-27T19:23:00.017-04:00

"You will be haunted," resumed the Ghost,"by Three Spirits."

-- Charles Dickens, The Christmas Carol

I had an interesting weekend.

In only one weekend (less than 48 hours) I got to experience present parenting, re-live past parenting and get a peek at what parenting may look like in the future.

THE GHOST OF PARENTING FUTURE

For the first time ever, Little Zo Peep went on an overnight (2 nights, really), out-of-town trip with her friend H and H's parents -- Mr. and Mrs. W. It was a big step for her. It was a HUGE step for me.

Please understand that Zo Peep and I have been parted many times in her 6 years with me. During that time I've had more out-of-town, overnight business trips than I'd care to remember -- many of them longer than 2 nights. But somehow this trip felt very different for me.

Maybe it was because SHE was doing the traveling while I was staying home. Maybe it was because she showed no anxiety about this adventure. Maybe it was because she packed for the trip on Tuesday morning -- she was that excited about going.

Whatever the reason, I realized before she even left that this little, tiny weekend excursion was going to give me my first taste of empty nest syndrome and my first glimpse into what will become many trips away from me as she grows and matures and strikes out on her own.

Now I fully realize that the ultimate goal of parenting is to raise my children so that they can eventually, confidently and effectively leave my care and carve out their own lives. But -- even with Zo Peep at 6 -- I can see that final destination is going to arrive much faster than I want it to arrive. Sometime I look in the eyes of this old soul and see her adult self just over the horizon. Some days she seems to be growing up with the speed of a lightening bolt barreling down from the sky.

I know I can't stop her -- or even slow her down -- but some days I wish I could.

THE GHOST OF PARENTING PAST

Of course, with Little Zo Peep gone from Friday at 3PM until Sunday at 1PM our Hen House was down to one Hen and one Chick. Honestly, I didn't think that the absence of Little Zo Peep would make that much difference. After all, the Peep is very self-sufficient and doesn't need my attention that much anymore. Plus, Libby Doodle Doo is SOOOO active, that I thought my weekend would still be hectic -- just not quite as much.

WRONG.

I had forgotten how much easier it is raising one child versus two -- even when that one child is a spitfire like Libby Doodle Doo. I guess I never realized how splitting my time between the Doodle and Peep (even when Zo Peep doesn't require that much from me) is so taxing.

It felt so luxurious to be able to put all my focus all the time on just one child. I also didn't realize how much of my every day is consumed with the Doodle complaining (i.e. whining) about the Peep and visa-versa. Even church -- which usually feels more like Purgatory -- was relatively painless

Even though I missed Little Zo Peep -- I gotta confess -- the weekend was like a mini-vacation for me.

Now let me state unequivocally that I adore both of my children, I love having two children and I'm deeply grateful for the opportunity to be their mother. But with all that said, I think I realized over the weekend what a big step I actually took when I moved from Single with One to Single with Two in January, 2008.

THE GHOST OF PARENTING PRESENT

I picked up Little Zo Peep on Sunday afternoon. She was incredibly excited about her adventure and while driving home in the car delivered a machine-gun re-telling of the entire weekend. During one of her stories about Mr. and Mrs. W -- parents of her friend H -- I squeezed in the comment, "Gee, that's so nice. I think Mr. and Mrs. W are very nice people."

Zo Peep replied, "Yes, they are very, very nice."

And then she paused for a beat and added:

"Much nicer than you."

OUCH!!!!

I don't know precisely when it happened, but Zo Peep has moved into a stage where she sometimes openly criticizes me. It doesn't happen often, but it stings whenever she does it. Sometimes its for the clothing I'm wearing. Sometimes its because of something I said to one of her friends. Sometimes its because I do something that is truly bad -- losing my patience, raising my voice, swearing (for these things I always apologize).

I remember the Zo Peep who idolized everything about me-- even though I realized that I was far from perfect. I knew that her idolatry wouldn't last forever. And as long as she is respectful to me (sometimes she is and sometimes she isn't), I'm glad that she feels comfortable speaking from her heart and sharing her opinions about me as a person and as her mother.

I just have to build up the calluses so that these comments don't hurt quite as much.

Oh, and by the way -- I've known Mr. and Mrs. W for over 3 years now. Based on my experiences, I think Zo Peep is correct -- they are much nicer than me.

Just don't share that tidbit with my first-born.

Spring Has Sprung

2009-04-22T22:22:00.006-04:00

My front garden peaked this week and looks spectacular. Every time I've looked at the garden this week, my heart has been filled with such joy.

I'm re-editing all of my gardens this year. I'm getting rid of plants that are either too big or not thriving. I'm adding a perennial cutting garden next to house. And I'm re-engineering the back garden to make it feel more zen-like. It's a big project, but it is extremely therapeutic.

And as an extra bonus both Zo Peep and Libby Doodle Doo have wanted to help me work in the garden this Spring. Zo Peep has never shown any interest in the past. This year she wants to know the name of the plants and keeps asking me a million questions. The Doodle wants to gently touch the flowers and feel their textures. She also isn't afraid of getting her hands dirty and wants to scratch in the dirt like mommy.

Perhaps I'm raising two budding horticulturists.

Here are some photos I took today. I've tried to name the plants and varieties in each picture. I'm a little rusty on the varieties of bulbs and perennials I have here (much better on the trees and shrubs). If anyone sees something that they want to know more about, feel free to ask and I can go back in my records and find out what it is.

#1 The entry to the garden. Most trees are still in bud stage, but the cherry (Prunus 'Hally Jolivette') on the right is in full flower. Next week the redbud (Cercis canadensis 'Forest Pansy') next to the front porch will be covered in pinkish buds. The small greenish tree on the left is a dogwood (Cornus mas) and was covered in lovely yellow flowers only a week ago.

#2 -- Hellebores in bloom.
#3 A collection of tulips, muscari, and dozens of varieties of daffs and the base of my Baldcypress ( Taxodium distichum'Shawnee Brave')
#4 A close-up of the muscari -- with a little tulip and coral bells (heucheras)
#5 Another close-up showing a hosta in lower right unfurling its huge leaves. Such a nice contrast to the bulb foliage and boxwood (Buxus microphylla) on the far left.

Gotta love Spring!!

Easter Fashion

2009-04-20T06:08:00.020-04:00

As I return to the blogging world, I'm going to post a few stories of things that have happened during my 6 month hiatus. Here is one that just happened in the last few weeks. -Mama Hen
*******************************************************

I could write a sonnet

About your Easter bonnet

And of the girl I'm taking to the Easter parade

-Irving Berlin

I loved Easter as a kid. Not only was it a holiday filled with colored eggs and candy, but it also was the one-day each year when I would get a brand new outfit to wear to church. I was the third of six children and money was always tight. I spent most of my life in hand-me-downs, so getting that new dress, those new shoes – sometimes even a spring coat, hat, gloves and purse – was so special.

I wanted to maintain that tradition for my girls, too.

So a couple months ago I was stressing over the fact that – with no job in sight – I wouldn’t be able to afford Easter dresses for Libby Doodle Doo and Little Zo Peep – certainly nothing like the co-ordinating silk shantung confections that they wore last year. Such a purchase seemed so frivolous these days.

And then – as I was going through a bin of size 2T Spring/Summer clothes put away when Zo Peep outgrew them -- I made an amazing discovery. I found not One, not Two but SIX fancy dresses that had never been worn by the Peep and still had their tags on.

Now I can’t tell you why I bought so many dresses for Zo Peep way back then. Maybe I was insane, maybe prescient -- perhaps somewhere deep inside I knew that I would need a new dress for the Peep's little sister someday. Who knows?

I had the Doodle try on the 6 possible Easter dresses and found 2 that fit her perfectly. I picked a cotton floral one with a touch of eyelet and a bit of tulle underneath to give the dress some extra pouf. The fabric is really retro and reminded me of curtains (or maybe it was a table cloth) in my grandma's kitchen when I was a toddler myself.

Once I had the Doodle’s Easter dress resolved, I brainstormed about what to do for Zo Peep. And then I remembered that when Zo Peep was 3 1/2, I stumbled upon a "Going Out of Business" sale at a high end girls' clothing shop. With prices from 75 to 90% off, I decided to buy her First Holy Communion Dress -- a dress she would not wear for another 4 years. I had no idea what size the Peep would be in 2nd grade, so I bought THREE dresses that day -- size 6, 6x and 7. I figured I would find good use for the dresses I ultimately did not use.

Fast forward to early April, 2009.

I found the garment bag with the Communion dresses (I had also bought a Communion veil and gloves -- more things that I had forgotten about). The size 6 dress fit Zo Peep beautifully. It was ivory silk sheath with just a hint of green and lilac at the bodice and hem -- totally appropriate for Easter.

So with dresses -- purchased in 2006 and 2004 -- my girls were able to wear their New Easter outfits this year.

They both looked charming.

Catching Up

2009-04-15T12:24:00.009-04:00

Hi everyone.

Here it is April 15th. My gosh the months are rushing by like cars on a freeway.

The bad news is that I'm still unemployed. I never imagined that finding a job would have been so difficult, but as a living, breathing statistic of our weak US economy -- I can attest that it's really, really rough out there.

And I'm not going to pretend that I haven't had some rough times since losing my job but -- even in my darkest moments -- my girls have helped me (and continue to help me) get through this time. We celebrated holidays, marked milestones (lost teeth, expanding vocabulary), and enjoyed the "ordinariness" of every day.

For the last month or so, I've been working with a colleague who lost her job at the same time I did. We are going to try to get some consulting work. I don't know if our efforts will turn into a permanent gig or just keep me afloat till a more traditional job comes along. I know that just working on this project has helped me shake the cobwebs from my brain and the lead from my step.

Net, net I'm in a better place and have decided to return to occasional blogging. I'm sure my postings won't be daily, but I think they will be regular. I hope you'll join me on my journey.

Let me get you caught up with Little Zo Peep and Libby Doodle Doo. The girls are both doing very well -- healthy and happy. Yesterday while driving to a meeting with my colleague, I heard Bill Withers "Lovely Day" on the radio. As I listened to the lyrics, I thought that how the words captured how grateful I am to my children for helping me get through this rough patch and for bringing purpose, sunshine and focus into my life.

This morning I gathered together a bunch of photos from the last 6 months and created a montage of my girls. I've included a couple of the Apple Orchard shots from October, but most of the pics are more recent. This gallery shows Zo Peep and the Doodle being silly, grumpy, loving & ornery -- but in every photo I feel their energy and spirit that is helping me focus my own optimism and resolve.

I WILL be OK. I CAN see light at the end of the tunnel.

Enjoy the video montage.

More pix of the Girls in the Apple Orchard

2009-01-01T12:13:00.007-05:00

Since I'm taking a hiatus from this blog, I thought I'd add some more photos of the girls taken a few months ago at a local apple orchard. The girls are changing and growing up so rapidly that these photos may be hopelessly obsolete by the time I return to blogging.

Happy Holidays

2008-12-24T06:46:00.005-05:00

Just wanted to put up a quick post to let everyone know that we're all ok and that I'm formally suspending the blog for now.

A quick update on my chicks:

Libby Doodle Doo is a firecracker -- all full of dazzling energy and joy. She's expanding her vocabulary daily (sometimes with words that only I understand) and has moved confidently into toddlerhood. Zo Peep is doing a great job being a big sister -- protective & instructive. The two of them together are lovely to watch (well, most of the time -- like all siblings they both have their moments).

I'm still unemployed -- and that's the big elephant sitting in the corner of the room. We're still ok financially -- at least for the next few months. The job search has taken a lot out of me emotionally. I have good days and bad days. I'm trying to channel all of my energy into the girls and into the job search (struggling with that second area). Right now, I don't have any spare energy left over to maintain the blog. I hope to resume writing in the future when I'm on more stable ground.

I wish all of you a lovely holiday and the happiest of new years.

I'll leave you with some more photos of the girls taken in October by an amazing child photographer. The photographer books sessions way in advance and I had pre-paid for a Fall photo session for the girls shortly before being notified that I was losing my job (lucky break). I'm glad I followed through with the session. I now have beautiful photos to mark the girls' first year as sisters.

Peace to all. Theresa

. . . Due to Technical Difficulties

2008-08-23T16:01:00.003-04:00

A quick note to let everyone know that all is ok with us -- but that my computer is on the fritz. I've been borrowing other folks computers for the last 2 weeks to check my email every day or so, but not enough to write and publish postings.

I think I've found the source of my computer problems -- I believe I've used up too much of my hard drive space with videos, pictures and movies. I bought a large external hard drive yesterday and am going to try to clean that stuff out of my computer to see if I can get the machine working again. Once I clear out enough hard drive space, I may have to reinstall my operating system again -- which may require another visit to the Genius Bar at the Apple store.

I just love technology. I hope to be up and running again sometime next week.

Mama Mia

2008-08-02T08:00:00.005-04:00

Earlier this week, Little Zo Peep and I had an interesting conversation about her birth mother.

Sometimes Zo Peep and I watch the PBS program Antiques Roadshow, a program in which people bring in items and professionals determine the value of the item. During the program, she and I guess how much a treasure is worth and keep score of who came closest to the actual value.

An appraiser was reviewing an antique Chinese tapestry that featured a female character from Chinese folklore. Suddenly Zo Peep blurted out:

“She (the character in the tapestry) has the same name as my birth mother.”

“What?” I said (a little taken aback). “How do you know that?”

And then she continued in an animated, rapid-fire delivery:

“Because my birth mother sent me a letter, but I hid it from you. She told me all about herself and how she just had a baby boy who is my birth brother. And how my birth father is older than she is – not old like Grandpa – but older.”

Where was this coming from? I focused on one part of her story (looking back not what I should have done).

“You hid this letter from me. Why?”

“Because it was to me from my birth mother,” she said matter-of-factly and then continued:

“And she sent me pictures of herself, too. She’s tall and thin with long black shiny hair and big dark brown eyes and beautiful hands with long fingers.”

Oh my gosh, Zo Peep was describing her adult self. Tears started to well in my eyes.

“She sounds beautiful. But sweetie, you don’t have to hide anything about your birth mother from me. Your birth mother and birth father are special people because they created you. And your birth mother is extra special because you grew in her tummy and she took care of you. I would love to meet your birth parents and know more about them. “

“OK,” was all she said and went back to watching TV.

Later at bedtime I asked her if she wanted to talk more about her birth mother and the letter.

“I was just pretending about the letter,” she said.

“Well, if you want to talk more about you birth mother we can.”

“OK.”

And then she hugged me and we kissed goodnight and that was it.

But what a profound experience. It was the first time I realized how Little Zo Peep is processing so much about her beginnings and early life. It is only a matter of time before these conversations become more frequent and more intense.

I hope I’m ready.

Chick Flick Double Feature -- Aunt Annie

2008-08-01T09:48:00.008-04:00

My sister travelled with me to China to meet Libby Doodle Doo. Today's two videos feature her and my Libby.

In the first, I filmed as Aunt Annie removed the many layers of clothing that Libby Doodle Doo was wearing on Gotcha Day. It's amazing to see how much smaller the Libster gets from the beginning to the end of the video. It also amazes me how more animated she gets as the layers of clothing are removed.

One observation -- I expected Libby Doodle Doo to be wearing lots and lots of clothing since I was getting her in January and since Nanchang was SOOO Cold. But surprisingly, she was wearing fewer layers of clothing than Zo Peep wore when I first met her in April of 2003. Perhaps customs are changing in China and children aren't bundled as much as they used to be.

The second video is a Thank You to my sister for coming to China with me to meet Libby Doodle Doo:

I hope you enjoy.

Libby McNugget

2008-07-30T14:24:00.007-04:00

Tonight for your Dining Pleasure, the Chef is Featuring

a Lovely Libby Doodle Doo

I’ve called my second born many things in the 6 months I’ve known her – Sweetheart, Mei mei, The Libster, Baby, Doodle -- but I never thought I’d call her an Entrée.

And yet, that’s what she has become for her daycare peers. Since mid-March, Libby Doodle Doo has been bitten EIGHT times at daycare.

These bites are nasty too (the one above targeted her thumb). None have broken the skin (thank God), but all have left teeth-mark bruising that lasts for days and days and some have left raised welts that have lasted for over a week.

I’ve talked to the Daycare director a couple times about this situation. So far, she doesn’t’ seem overly concerned. She’s explained to me that biting is a normal 1-year-old behavior (OK). She tells me that its not just one child doing the biting (doesn’t make me feel better). She says that the one-year-old room has the highest caregiver/child ratio in the center (and yet my daughter has been bitten 8 times in 4.5 months).

For most of those 4.5 months, the Libster wasn’t even in the one year old room all day either. When she turned one in early March, the center wanted to move her to the room immediately. I insisted– given the tremendous change Libby Doodle Doo has had to endure since January – that they needed to make the transition very slowly.

So from March through June, the Doodle spent part of her day in the infant room and part of the day in the one-year-old room. When we returned from vacation the second week of July, I told the center that we could keep her in the one-year-old room all day long.

And since then she’s been bitten three more times.

Also since making the full-time transition to this room Libby Doodle Doo is showing tremendous angst when I drop her off in the morning. She wails and screams when she knows that I’m about to leave. If she can, she runs after me and grabs my pant leg trying to block my exit. I can hear her screams after I leave the room and am in the stairwell – it just breaks my heart. I must admit that when I pick her up at the end of the day, she is all smiles and playfulness.

On Monday, the woman who manages the one year old room told me that she was going to collect information on what Libby Doodle Doo was doing before getting bit. She has special sheets to fill out to collect this information on how Libby may be provoking these attacks.

YIKES!

I guess I’m glad the center is doing something about my concerns, but this plan seemed a little misdirected.

So the big advantage of being unemployed is that I was able to spend part of Monday and yesterday doing some Internet research on biting at daycare. One particularly helpful article stated that although biting is normal, it should never be considered acceptable. The article states that childcare workers need to understand why a child is biting (is he teething? Frustrated? Hungry? Tired? Seeking Oral Stimulation?) Once the reason for biting is understood, preventative measures can be put into place.

The article goes on to say that childcare facilities should assign someone to shadow the biter and look for signs that biting might soon occur (tired, hungry, conflict over a toy). If a worker can spot a situation that may lead to biting, he/she can remove the biter from the situation.

The author acknowledges that childcare workers can’t prevent 100% of biting and that when a biting incident occurs; immediate action needs to be taken. The author recommends a firm, unique tone of voice and say, “NO Billy STOP. You may not bite Joey. Biting hurts Joey.” The author suggests that 2 adults run over to the situation – one to deal with Billy and one to comfort Joey. If 2 adults aren’t free, the first priority needs to be dealing with Billy the Biter.

All this makes sense to me. I’m going to pick up the kids early and share these observations with the director. I’m hoping that they can put some programs in place to prevent as many biting incidents as possible – for Libby Doodle Doo and the other children. If not, it may be time to think about another option for childcare.

Commentary on the Commentary

2008-07-27T12:53:00.007-04:00

"Doesn't seem fair that a single Mom gets to have 2 daughters while many married parents wait for their first one."

Thus read the quote added this week in the Comment section of one of my videos that has been posted on You Tube. I was taken aback when I first saw this sentiment and full of righteous indignation:

“How dare someone write that. Talk about kicking me when I’m already down. I’ve just had a corporation tell me I’m not worthy to have a job, now someone is questioning my merit as a parent of two.”

I considered removing the comment from the board or posting a scorching reply in the comment section on that video. Ultimately I decided to just let it stand as is – and here’s why:

First, if I’m posting information on the Internet – either on You Tube or here in my blog, I have to be open to the fact that not everyone who stumbles into my corner of the cyberworld will agree with what he sees or reads. I guess my philosophy here is – If I can’t take the Internet Heat, I should get out of the Internet Kitchen.

I’ve never hidden the fact that I’m a less than perfect parent. My goal as a parent is to try to learn from the many mistakes I make and get better over time – my mantra is continuous improvement.

Since becoming a parent, I’ve encountered a lot of parents who won’t settle for anything less than perfection – perfect children living the perfect life in a perfect home run by perfect parents. I wish them well on that quest. I have neither the time nor the desire to set my sights that high.

If people in the cyber world are offended with my honest observations as an imperfect parent – then so be it. Likewise, if they think that I’m too overweight to parent healthy slim daughters or too old to raise such small children, or too unattractive to have been blessed with such beauties or too Caucasian to raise children born in China or too single to make sure my children have proper male influences – then so be it.

I learned long ago that everyone is not going agree with me or with the choices I’ve made in my life.

Second, I feel the frustration in the words of the poster and I empathize. I waited 16 years – first with my husband and then out on my own – to become a parent. I know how much anguish I felt during those years. I remember many times when I thought children would never come into my life. I remember how sad and empty I felt at the prospect of a childless life. So if this post was the result of the horrible wait that parents adopting from China have been facing for the last few years, why not let this commenter have an outlet to express those frustrations on my You Tube commenting space?

I honestly hope that everyone who wants to be a parent is able to fulfill this dream. To me children are the greatest blessing that is bestowed on us during our lifetime.

I also hope that every child is raised in a loving, caring home. And as long as there are children (both here and abroad) who are not in safe and/or loving families, I hope that adoption can find permanent loving families for these children.

Where I probably differ from the poster is that I personally don’t think that there is a formula to identify what a loving permanent family should look like. I think that there are great parents who are young or old, married or single, rich or poor, gay or straight, religious or not, skinny or fat, highly educated or not. I also think that there are average and even poor parents from each of these groups, too.

I realize that many people may not agree with me. These people have a vision of the “perfect family” and feel that people who meet this ideal profile are more worthy than others and deserve to go to the front of the line – or in some cases -- be the ONLY people in line for parenting.

If the poster is saying that since I don’t fit an ideal profile of a family that I don’t deserve to be the parent of Little Zo Peep and Libby Doodle Doo, I 100% disagree. PERIOD.

I’ll close with the observation about how many people choose to express their opinions. I DO wish that people -- whether in-person or in the anonymous world of the cyber world – would learn how to express their disagreements with others in a diplomatic and respectful way. Especially on the Internet, I’ve encountered too many incidents of uncivil, impolite behavior.

To be fair, the commenter above was not as rude as he/she might have been. Also, the commenter had no idea that this message delivered to me in my current state could sting as much as it did. With those caveats, I believe the poster may have selected words more carefully to express the frustration around the long wait many couples are experiencing without vilifying me (if that was his/her intent) for having already completed my family.

Of course, that’s my opinion.

Chick Flicks Friday -- Passionate Kisses

2008-07-25T20:22:00.001-04:00

The last adoption video I posted highlighted the moment when Libby Doodle Doo and I first met. At the end of that video, the Libster takes her first long good look at me and bursts into tears.

This video is proof that her initial sadness and apprehension was short-lived. Almost from the Get-go, Libby Doodle Doo has shown an amazing joie de vivre -- ready to embrace anything the world gives her.

My sister -- Aunt Annie -- appears a few times in this video with Miss Libby. For next week I'm going to complete 2 videos (a Double Feature!!) that show the lovely connection between Aunt Annie and Libby Doodle Doo.

Enjoy.

BTW -- I love the scenes with Libby Doodle Doo devouring her first dark chocolate. Like her Mama, Miss Libby has become a true connoisseur of this heavenly treat.

On the mend -- sort of

2008-07-24T05:53:00.002-04:00

Pneumonia!!!! Who'd have thunk that the recovery would be so SLOOOOOWWWW.

I'm getting better and stronger every day, but I 'm surprised that I'm still not back to my old self yet. I did have a chest x-ray last Friday that came back clean -- so no more infection in my lungs. I completed my second course of anti-biotics on Tuesday. So all signs points to recovery.

But still. . .

The space between my ears still feels spongy and thick. I'm still light-headed and dizzy if I move too fast. I erupt into little coughing jags with little provocation. My voice is still raspy and low and gets worse as the day goes on. And on Wednesday I woke up and couldn't swallow at all.

Thankfully the girls are doing much better. They still have 3 days of anti-bioitics to take but I see significant improvement. Libby Doodle Doo seems like her old self again -- ornery, happy, with no signs of sickness. Little Zo Peep seems more energetic and is no longer complaining of a sore throat -- but she has been coughing a lot for the last couple days. If she doesn't improve in the next day or so, I'm taking her back to the pediatrician.

I've been going into my office all week and doing transition stuff -- cleaning out my files, packing up my personal belongings, putting together information for the person taking over my businesses.

Tomorrow is my last day. I have a meeting with HR in the morning and then a benefits meeting with all the other folks who are leaving. Between those meetings I'll complete a binder to hand over to my successor and say my good-byes to folks.

I'm guessing it will be a strange day. I've been working at this company for 19 years -- practically my entire career. People I've worked with -- currently and in the past -- have been really supportive and I have several folks who are scouring the job market and trying to help me in my search.

I know in my head that I'll end up OK. I'm just not looking forward to the journey I'll need to take to get to that final destination -- resumes, interviews, etc.

Oh well, on to the next chapter.

Chick Flick Friday -- Rockin

2008-07-17T22:10:00.002-04:00

I don't know about you, but I needed a video that made me smile this week. Here's some footage I shot at my sister's house last week.

It shows the sometimes feisty interplay between Libby Doodle Doo and Little Zo Peep. It also features Miss Libby's very cute dimples, round Buddah-belly and her very flat/not even there bum.

The Butcher, The Baker, The Candlestick Maker. . .

2008-07-17T04:33:00.012-04:00

Leave it to Little Zo Peep.

When I got news of my job loss on Monday, I realized that my very intuitive, very smart six year old would deduce that something was changing and begin asking questions soon.

She figured it all out just yesterday.

I had decided to keep both girls home from Daycare/Summer Camp on Wednesday. As I emerge from the fog of my own sickness and continue to recover from my pneumonia, I noticed that each of the girls was beginning to exhibit signs of infections themselves. Although their spirits were high and they hadn't had any fevers, Libby Doodle Doo had been having thick, opaque drainage and Little Zo Peep had been complaining of a sore throat. I wanted to get them both in to see their Pediatrician. As I waited for the Dr. appt at 2:30 PM, Zo Peep followed me around as I did some light chores and worked on the computer.

As I was reading an email from a friend, I quickly found Zo Peep at my left shoulder reading along with me.

"Why does she say, 'Sorry about your job?' " my First Born probed.

The jig was up. I needed to face this conversation with Little Zo Peep already. I had thought a little about how to handle the job loss situation with Little Zo Peep. I wanted to be honest with her, but did not want her to fret or worry. I had decided to make my reply short and sweet to answer her questions and allay any fears.

"Mommy is going to go find a new place to work soon and isn't going to work at the old place anymore."

"I don't want to move," she retorted with a tear catching in her throat. Little Zo Peep has already lost playmates in daycare, pre-school and kindergarten to job relocation.

"Sweetie, mommy doesn't want to move either. Do you think I should look for a job here first?

"Yes."

"Then that's what I'll do."

"Maybe you can work in the Bakery?" Less than a minute after this news was delivered, Sweet Little Zo Peep had already switched to an Outplacement Counselor.

"The Bakery?"

"Yes. Or Day Care, or Church, or my School."

"Good suggestions. I'll put all of those on my list."

That was the end of the conversation. I'm sure we'll have many more discussions in the weeks and months to follow. I decided from this brief encounter that I probably need to get some help to handle this transition for the girls -- especially the Peep. When I was at the Pediatrician's office later I picked up a card for a parental/family therapist who is affiliated with the practice. I'm going to give her a call today.

BTW my intuition about the girls was correct. Libby Doodle Doo has a middle ear infection. Little Zo Peep has Strep throat. So now the entire family is on a course of 3 different anti-biotics. The Doodle can go back to Day Care tomorrow, but Zo Peep needs to stay home until she is no longer infectious. I had a follow-up visit with my own Doctor on Tuesday. I'm making improvements, but its slow going. She put me on some more steroids for my bronchial inflammation and switched my anti-biotic to a more powerful one. I also need to go for a follow-up chest x-ray on Friday.

Taking each day at a time.

The REAL Part of my Surreal Monday

2008-07-15T03:47:00.007-04:00

As I mashed the potatoes and as the filet grilled outside, Little Zo Peep and Libby Doodle Doo did what all kids everywhere do with leftover brownie batter.

They licked the bowl clean.

Zo Peep wore her Chef hat and apron:

While Libby Doodle Doo experienced the joy of brownie batter for the first time.

Unemployed

2008-07-14T15:46:00.003-04:00

As I expected, I was let go this morning. In many ways it was a relief just knowing -- I've been on such pins and needles for so long.

I got some basic details about the package I'll receive -- more info will come later. They sent me home for the day and asked me to return tomorrow to start transitioning.

I've spent the day catching up on some items I didn't complete this weekend -- laundry, errands, grocery shopping. I'm still weak from the pneumonia and trying not to push too hard.

I bought some nice filets to throw on the grill and a package of brownie mix to create the girls favorite dessert. I'm going to pick the girls up early and ask Chef Little Zo Peep to help me make a gourmet dinner.

A very surreal day.

The Irony – Facing My Other Big Fear

2008-07-12T07:08:00.008-04:00

Only a week ago I wrote about the 2 BIG FEARS I had as I entered the world of single Mom-hood. My second biggest fear -- the potential of losing my job – is one that I’ve been dealing with for the last several months. You'll remember that my first biggest fear was getting sick and not being there for my girls.

And I faced that fear just this week. I have pneumonia and was rushed to the hospital via ambulance on Wednesday night because I couldn’t breathe.

Here’s the story.

I got sick the last 3 days of vacation – a nasty cough, fever, and chills – the usual stuff. I was feeling better by Sunday (the day we were to leave). I took a long time packing up and driving home and took it easy when we finally arrived home at 7PM that night.

But then the next morning I felt awful. I had a really painful dry cough and my chest felt really, really tight. I called in sick from work and called my doctor to see if they could squeeze me in. I finally got in to see the doctor at 3 in the afternoon.

Usually my doctor doesn’t write an Rx for cold/respiratory symptoms unless I’ve been sick for over a week. After looking me over, she said my lungs sounded fine, but she did write me a script for an antibiotic. I dropped it off at the pharmacy on my way to buy groceries and pick up the girls.

When we returned to the pharmacy about an hour later I found out that they didn’t carry the mg. of the antibiotic that my Dr. had prescribed. The Pharm-tech told me they could order it and have it by Wednesday. I asked them to see if they could transfer the prescription to another store in the chain and that I’d like to start taking the medicine before Wed.

They found a store about 40 minutes away that had what I needed. They transferred the script to that store and my plan was to go pick it up after I finished dinner with the girls.

But I was moving in such slow motion during dinner that it was Libby Doodle Doo’s bedtime by the time I had cleaned up the dinner dishes. I couldn’t face an 80 minute round trip with the girls at that time of night. So I decided not to pick up the medicine on Tuesday.

I finally started taking the medicine after work on Tuesday.

All Monday night and Tuesday the cough continued to be painful and unproductive. When I awoke on Wednesday, my throat was incredibly tight and sore and I had lost my voice. I also couldn’t swallow very well and the horse-pill antibiotics kept on getting caught in my throat and gagging me.

But – of course – I still went to work. I was meeting with a colleague at 4 that afternoon who stopped our business conversation and said, “You look awful. You should go back to the doctor right now. Clearly the medicine isn’t helping you.”

She was right. As the day wore on the tightness in my throat was getting worse and worse. The cough was horribly painful. I even had some problems catching my breath as I was climbing stairs.

I called my doctor at 4:45 (my voice a low, raspy whisper – so very hard to understand) and they told me that they could see me as soon as I got there.

On the 30 minute drive to the Dr. I started to call and text people trying to find someone to help me with the girls when I got home that night – I knew that I was too sick to be their primary caregiver. I left message, but had no luck finding anyone who was free.

When the Dr. saw me she knew instantly that I was struggling. After listening to my lungs she told her assistant to get a nebulizer breathing treatment and oxygen. As they left to get these items, I still – foolishly – thought I could still pick up the girls before day care closed. I called Day Care to let them know that I would be picking up the girls very close to closing time of 6:30 (still very had to make myself understood with my raspy whisper voice).

The office staff hooked me up to a blood oxygen monitor and started the nebulizer (I think it had Albuterol in it). Although the nebulizer seemed to be working, a bunch of mucous got caught in my throat and I started to gag and throw up.

That’s when I crashed.

My breathing passages shut down. I could get air into the back of my throat, but then it stopped. My blood oxygen level (which had been registering 99%) took a nosedive and dropped to 93%.

The assistant yelled for the doctor who told her to call 911. I was SOOO Scared. As I gasped for air I didn’t think about work or my possible job loss or financial stability or anything else.

I thought about the girls. AND ONLY THE GIRLS. Who would pick them up tonight? Who would feed them dinner and get them ready for bed? Who would care for them tomorrow and love them the day after that and the day after that?

So here I am sitting in my doctor’s office gasping for breath with huge crocodile tears streaming down my face scared for my girls – Not Me – my girls.

The doctor rubbed my back and tried to get me to calm down and get breathing again. I can’t really remember what she did, but the situation improved and although I was breathing really shallowly with a lot of wheezing, I was breathing again.

As I waited for the ambulance I wrote notes to the Dr. Staff to get them to call my sister and call daycare. As the Dr. Office called those people, I text my former babysitter (yes, my beloved babysitter left me in late May. I thought it was only fair to let her go since my job situation was so precarious and I wanted to protect her AND save some money for our potential family emergency) and she sent a text message back saying that she’d go pick up the girls right away -- what a relief.

Then the EMT’s arrived, put me on a gurney, discussed the situation with my doctor and put me in an ambulance to a local hospital. I crashed a second time on the way to the hospital.

I spent the next 6 hours in an emergency room. During the time they kept me on oxygen, gave me 4 more nebulizer treatments, gave me a chest x-ray to confirm it was pneumonia and gave me some steroids to reduce the inflammation in my airways.

I was on heart monitors, had IV’s – the whole bit.

At 11:30, a Dr. came back to tell me that I had stabilized and they didn’t think that I needed to be admitted. They gave me a couple prescriptions and released me a little before midnight.

I was there alone. I knew (from text messages I wasn’t supposed to be reading – no cell phones allowed in the emergency room) – that my sister had connected with Kristen and had taken the girls home with her. I didn’t call anyone to be with me. When they released me, I wandered the halls of the hospital until I found a security guard who agreed to call me a cab (my car was still in the Dr. Office’s parking lot).

I waited outside for the cab for 20 minutes and got home a little after 12:30. I left – barely audible – messages for my sister and for Kristen and for my secretary at work.

I didn’t go to work on Thursday or Friday. On Thursday, My secretary and one of the members of my team took off time to come to my house; get what they needed and go get my extra Rxs and retrieve my car.

I’ve been resting for the last 2 days. I got Libby Doodle Doo back from my sister on Thursday night and Little Zo Peep on Friday night – maybe sooner than I should have -- but I missed them so.

I still get very winded when climbing stairs and a little light headed when I get up. I am driving again but trying to be careful to not push myself too far too fast.

This health scare put the job loss scenario into proper perspective. I logged into my work computer late yesterday to find a message the my boss wants to meeting with me for 20 minutes early Monday morning to discuss my job status.

So I’ll know for sure on Monday – I still think that it doesn’t look good – but I’ll finally know. And I realize that nothing that he can say or do will be one fraction as scary as the experience I had on Wednesday night. Regardless if I have a job or not at noontime on Monday – I’ll still have Little Zo Peep and Libby Doodle Doo – and that’s ALL that matters.

So in a perverse way – this 911/Ambulance/Emergency Room experience has better prepared me for the experience I’ll go through on Monday morning.

I’m going to keep busy with the girls this weekend without over-doing it.

. . . Just taking one day at a time.

Chick Flick

2008-07-11T10:34:00.002-04:00

As promised every Friday I plan to post a video of the girls.

This week I've fast forwarded from the Gotcha video from last week to show the progress of Libby Doodle Doo has made to become a full- fledged Toddler.

The Doodle started walking on April 1st and this video was taken the following Saturday during Zo Peep's Mandarin class (Zo Peep's class was doing a craft while Libby and I took over the play area). The poor dad in the background of some of the shots got to watch the Doodle and her over-enthusiastic mama try this walking thing over and over and over again.

Enjoy.

Our First Meeting

2008-07-04T18:00:00.002-04:00

While on vacation, I've reviewed all my existing footage (mostly from China, but with some more recent stuff too) and started constructing little movies. I have about a dozen projects in various stages of completion. My goal is to post a new movie every Friday -- little Flicks about my Chicks.

I'll mix it up -- sometimes a movie on adoption; other times a video about the girls today (I don't want Zo Peep to feel left out). Concerning my in-China movies, I've decided to do a lot of short little vignettes instead of one large epic. I group video around different themes/subjects -- My helpful sister, Me and Libby, my travel group, the beauty of China, etc.

The first one is the shortest one of all -- the first time I saw and held Libby Doodle Doo. I got to the matching room 15 minutes earlier than we were supposed to arrive. The agency/orphanages had already started matching. Since many families were not yet there, I was called almost immediately. I literally dropped the camera and my sister picked it up and continued filming (I edited the drop out of the final cut).

I hope you enjoy.

We Are OK

2008-07-04T11:49:00.002-04:00

We’re All OK

Let me ease the minds of those who have written and expressed concern about my lack of posting. Libby Doodle Doo, Little Zo Peep and Mama Hen are just fine.

I’ve written and re-written this post a half dozen times in the last couple weeks. I kept on rejecting what I had written because I thought it wasn’t right – either the post was too whiney or too depressing or too angry.

Here’s the scoop – I may be losing my job.

Before I became a single mom, I had two deep-seeded fears. First, I was afraid of dying young and leaving my already-orphaned-once daughters alone again. Second, I worried about whether I could financially provide for my two children (and myself) completely on my own.

Thankfully my health is really quite good (although I should really lose some weight) and -- God-willing -- I hope to watch my girls graduate, dance at each of their weddings and hold my grandbabies in my arms some day.

But here I am staring into the face of my second Big Fear. Finances have always been a struggle for me. I never realized how expensive raising kids would be (especially childcare). I’ve kept my head above water, but have not saved as much money as I had hoped to in order to provide for their future and to have a cushion in case of family emergencies.

And – with the possibility of job loss hanging over my head like a guillotine -- we may be facing a big family emergency real soon.

Without going into too much detail – the situation at work is extremely stressful. The company formally announced the intention to do massive layoffs (they call it right-sizing) by September 1st of this year.

I have reason to believe (based on some things that happened before the formal announcement and since then as well) that I’ve been earmarked to be let go. I don’t know for sure if I’m on the list, but I feel very, very vulnerable.

The events leading up to the formal announcement in late May and the situation since then have put me into a tailspin. Looking back on the last couple months, I have gone through a myriad of emotions. I feel like a case study for Elisabeth Kubler Ross. I’ve felt denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance – sometimes in the same week.

I’m most ashamed of what this period has done to me as a Mother. For the last few months I haven’t embraced the joy of being a mother to these two very special daughters. I’ve been impatient, petulent, distant and short with my girls (especially poor Little Zo Peep). I certainly am NOT in the running for any Mother of the Year Award this year.

We’ve been on holiday for the last 2 weeks and I’ve found some moments of peace and perspective. I’ve also found some snippets of time to start editing all the video footage I’ve shot in China and at home. Reviewing this video has helped me to rediscover my passion for motherhood and to appreciate the very special gift I’ve been given by becoming the mother of Little Zo Peep and Libby Doodle Doo.

So on today – the 4th of July – I declare Independence from fret, worry and self doubt. Whatever the next few months bring with my work situation, I’ll get through it with the help of my family and friends and the love I have for my lovely daughters.

For the couple of you who may still be visiting this site, I have a special treat for you. Later today, I’m going to post a video of my first meeting with Libby Doodle Doo. It still makes me cry everytime I view it. So grab a box of tissues and check back later today.

Theresa

Dining Al Fresco

2008-04-24T05:00:00.006-04:00

The weather lately has been lovely. Temperatures are in the low 70’s and toasty in the sun. Starting late last week, we began our annual ritual of Dining al fresco. It all started last Thursday night when the girls and I agreed with my babysitter’s recommendation to dine outside.

On Thursday nights Little Zo Peep selects the menu. Yesterday she picked “breakfast for dinner.” Our menu included her special recipe scrambled eggs (eggs, herbs, garlic, onions, chopped up link sausage, and cheddar cheese) plus some frozen waffles (no time to make them from scratch) and a nice fruit salad.

My babysitter went home shortly after I came home (not feeling well), so the 3 of us prepared dinner and carried it outside to enjoy it on the back patio.

What a lovely evening. The birds sang to us as we ate – cardinals, wrens, sparrows and mourning doves. Planes and helicopters buzz above – fascinating Libby Doodle Doo every time one passed. The flowers and blooming trees looked lovely and the daffs added a little hint of perfume to the air.

I realized that this was probably the first time ever that Libby Doodle Doo ate outside. I ran in and grabbed my camera to take some shots of the occasion. You know as adoptive parents we can always regret the many “first” that we missed with our children, but it is just as important to cherish all the “first” we do get to share with them.

Here are some shots of the Doodle and Peep doing their silly “head to the side” pose. Miss Doodle started doing this a few weeks ago. It is now very popular and Miss Peep and I do it back to her every chance we get.

After dinner, I took the camera out front to take some garden photos. A woman who helps me with the gardens had just come on Wednesday and did a lot of the Spring cleanup – everything was looking very nice. But nothing in the garden was quite as attractive as my two girls waiting patiently for me on our very, very small patch of grass.

As I was taking photos, a neighbor stopped over to see Libby Doodle Doo and Zo Peep. She offered to take a photo of the three of us. Here it is -- the photographic confirmation of my family spending our first of many lovely spring/summer evenings together:

Yes, I'm Ready For My Close-Up

2008-04-19T08:46:00.005-04:00

I just got Libby Doodle Doo's first formal photos back from the photographer. Feel free to pick your favorite. I'm partial to the close-up (#1) and the "curtsy" shot in the white dress (#4).

#1

#2

#3

#4

#5

#6

America’s New Top Model Student

2008-04-14T08:09:00.008-04:00

Little Zo Peep brought home her 3rd period report card last week. In Kindergarten her “grades” consist of Minus signs or Check marks or Plus signs. She is graded on about 40 different dimensions – everything from listening well to recognizing long vowel sounds from sharing to penmanship (to name a few).

Like previous grading periods, the Peep received lots of Plus signs, a couple Checks and no Minus signs. She also received this comment from her teacher:

“Z**** continues to show excellent progress and is mastering all of her studies. She is a model student.”

I read these comments to Zo Peep and she retorted,

“Model Student??? You mean, like America’s Next Top Model?”

Let me explain:

In the summer of 2006 my niece Monica worked as my Nanny and stayed with us during the week. She introduced Zo Peep and me to many reality shows including America’s Next Top Model. Although we don’t watch it every week, Zo Peep and I are still fans.

Zo Peep’s comment made me smile. Wouldn’t it be great if model students were admired and lauded as much as long-legged, size zero beauties? Can’t y’all imagine a reality series in which contestants vie for the title of America’s New Top Model Student?

Not very likely, eh?

Interestingly, -- in spite of her teacher’s comments -- I would never call my little one a model student. Honestly, Zo Peep shows little to no passion for school. Some mornings she whines about how she HATES school. Plus, Miss Peep periodically tells me how many days are left until school is over for the summer – as if she is counting down a prison sentence.

Perhaps her love for school will kick in later and I’m expecting too much of my not-yet-six-year-old. I hope she develops a love for learning. Maybe it is already starting. In the last few months I've seen her show a real interest in science (she loves to do experiments at home) and a joy in reading and spelling. Maybe her love of learning is starting to emerge and her love of school will follow shortly thereafter.

Stay tuned.

How to Make a Peanut Butter & Jelly Sandwich

2008-04-12T10:48:00.004-04:00

In past blog postings, I've mentioned how Little Zo Peep writes in a journal in Kindergarten each day. Her teacher then reads her posting with her and corrects her mistakes below her writing.This past week the teacher had the class watch her as she made a peanut and butter sandwich. She then asked each of them to write down the steps needed to make the sandwich.

I was impressed that Zo Peep was able to capture the steps so thoroughly and that her Spelling, Punctuation, Penmanship and Sentence Structure has improved so much. Here is her un-edited steps for making a sandwich:

1. You get awt the dred.

2. Then you get awt the penu budr and jele

3. Then you put it on the nuf.

4. Then You sdred it on the bred.

5. Then you puti thm to gether.

6. (written backwards) then you cut it.

7. then finlee you can etite.

Let me know if anyone needs a translation. She still is challenged with selecting the correct letter when she needs a "b" "d" or "p" -- so that hint should help you decipher some of her "words."

Spring Makes Me Daffy

2008-04-12T08:57:00.011-04:00

I love Spring. It's my favorite season. And it's because Spring is also daffodil season.

When I designed the gardens at my home in 2002, I selected plants that would give me Four seasons of interest. Bulbs, flowering trees and Ephemerals pop up in the Spring, Showy perennials (Lilies ,Peonies Day lilies, Hostas etc) take center stage for the Summer. Shrub and Changing Tree Leaves are the highlight in the Fall. And in Winter I have tall ornamental grasses, berries on shrubs and tree bark that is mottled or exfoliating.

All of these seasons have their merits, but none rivals the exhilaration I feel when the daffodils start making their first appearance every April.

I fell in love with Daffodils when I designed my first garden back in the days when I was still married. We lived deep in the suburbs and had a very wooded lot. I planted thousands of tulips and crocus and scilla and snowdrops and hyacinth and you name it. Deer, moles, bunnies and other woodland animals ate almost every bulb I planted. But they never touched my daffodils.

So I became a connoisseur of these indestructible beauties. I discovered that I could get a full Spring of color by planting different varieties. I discovered that not all daffodils look the same. There are miniature ones and tall ones. Ones with large cups and ones without. Ones in yellow and cream and coral and orange and salmon. Ones with one bloom per stem and ones with multiple blooms. Ones that are highly fragrant and ones that are not.

When I moved to an older city-type neighborhood and no longer had to worry about so many hungry woodland critters (well bunnies, moles and chipmunks still wreak havoc on my garden), I still decided to use daffodils prominently in my design. My entire front yard is devoted to daffodils in the Spring. I have other bulbs too -- but daffs are the anchor in the design.

When Spring peaks, the yard is exquisite (if I do say so myself). In fact last Spring during the garden's best week, a woman knocked on my door and told me that she was a freelance writer for Better Homes and Garden and wanted to pitch them a story about my Spring daffodil garden. I was very flattered, but declined.

Although the daffodil garden still has a few weeks to mature, I took some photos yesterday to capture what it looks like now. I still haven't done my Spring Clean-up so grasses are still up and perennials from last fall look quite haggard. In spite of those distractions, the daffodils still shine and still evoke smiles and comments from walkers and drivers who pass by.

The weather forecast is calling for a drop in temperatures and the possibility of snow in the next few days-- so this garden may never reach its potential this year. Even if it doesn't it has already brought me (and my neighbors) a lot of pleasure in the last few weeks.

I recommend daffodils to anyone who is planning a garden. They multiply like crazy as the years go on. They are one of those perfect flowers that anyone can grow. If you are inclined to plant some bulbs this fall, think about putting in some daffodils. I promise they will bring you years and years of joy.

The Ties that Bond

2008-04-10T06:09:00.005-04:00

On Monday, Libby Doodle Doo had her 2nd pediatrician appointment. It’s been 2 months since her first visit in February. In those 2 months my peanut has grown 1-1/2 inches, has gained almost 2 pounds and has increased her head circumference by 1 cm. She is now between the 50th and 75th percentile in length; between the 10th and 25th percentile in weight (in spite of that huge Buddah- belly) and between the 25th and 50th percentile in head circumference. Clearly my job is to continue to concentrate on fattening up my little eating machine. She has a great appetite and is interested in all types of foods – so that goal should be achievable.

During the 2+ hours that we were there (which ended with 5 -- count 'em -- 5 injections), I especially enjoyed my visit with Dianne the developmental/bonding expert. We talked about Libby Doodle Doo’s gross motor skills and fine motor skills. We talked about sleeping and eating and bonding and sibling rivalry and adjustments to daycare.

During our chat, Libby Doodle Doo started to play one of her games with Dianne. This game is a “high five” game where she holds up her hand for a “give me five slap” and then tries to reciprocate by slapping the other person’s hand. During the game Libby Doodle Doo smiled and giggled and was clearly having the time of her life.

Dianne – trained observer that she is – noted something that she saw and that really touched my heart.

“Do you notice that as she plays the game with me she occasionally stops and looks at you so that she can share her excitement and enjoyment with you?”

I hadn’t noticed until she had mentioned it.

But she was right. Since then I have started to think about the bond that is developing between Libby Doodle Doo and me. It is evolving and strengthening every day. I have to admit that I don’t know at what point a child starts viewing her caregiver as a “mommy,” but I can say that Libby Doodle Doo does seem to hold me in a special place among all other adult women that she encounters each day.

Libby Doodle Doo is a child who likes to make connections with me. Whether we are in church or at a store or eating dinner, Libby likes to be held by me, look at me and interact with me. Even though she is still noticeably more sociable than Zo Peep was at this age, the Libster has begun to show a reluctance to go to others – especially strangers – and will bury her head in my shoulder if they put out their arms for her. I take all of these cues as positive signs that our bond is developing nicely. And – although this example also demonstrates bonding -- not all signs are welcomed. Libby Doodle Doo has started to demonstrate sibling rivalry toward Zo Peep. If I am combing Zo Peep’s hair or holding Zo Peep in my lap, Libby Doodle Doo crawls over and will sometimes act out with aggression toward the Peep.

All of these signs (even the less-than-great one) are giving me reassurance that we’re on the right path. Honestly, I must say that I was concerned about putting the Libster in daycare only 3 weeks after we returned home. I’ve been anxious on and off for the last couple months as I think about how few waking moments I spend with my baby during the work week.

But the more I've thought about the signs that I’m seeing, I must say that I’m comfortable about the bond we’re building. I’m confident that this little girl recognizes me as the most important adult in her life. I’m not positive that she sees me as her mommy yet, but I think that we now have a strong foundation to eventually reach that milestone.

Every day we get a little closer.

Raising an Eyebrow

2008-04-09T05:21:00.004-04:00

I’m a bad mommy who isn’t paying enough attention to my children. And I have proof.

As many of you know my job has been CRAZY – blah, blah, blah. I’ve been super busy – blah, blah, blah.

But none of that gives me an excuse to become a totally un-observant parent. And –alas – I think that is what I have become.

This weekend, Zo Peep and Libby Doodle Doo and I were driving in the car. I was using the rear view mirror to look at Zo Peep as we talked about something (I can’t remember what). Suddenly, I saw something in the rear view mirror that startled me.

“What’s wrong with your eyebrow?”

“What, mommy?”

“Your eyebrow. Your left eyebrow. It’s missing. Well, half of it is missing. Where is the other half of your left eyebrow?”

Zo Peep looked incredulous and sheepish all at the same time.

When we got to our destination, I looked again. I was right. Half of Little Zo Peep’s left eyebrow had vanished.

“What did you do with your eyebrow?”

She hemmed and hawed and refused to make eye contact. Finally, she offered, “I’ve been pulling out the hairs a little at a time.”

“Really???” I thought.

Part of me felt horribly guilty that my elder daughter was slowly torturing herself as her mother busied herself with corporate matters. But the other –more practical – side of me didn’t buy her explanation. Zo Peep crumples into a pile of tears when I use a wide, wide tooth comb on her hair. Zo Peep has NO tolerance for pain of any kind. I could not imagine her slowly and systematically pulling out eyebrow hairs one at a time.

For the last day I’ve been asking her about the eyebrow. Last night my interrogation continued.

“When have you been pulling out your eyebrow hairs? I’ve never noticed you do it?”

“I’ve been doing it in the shower.”

A-HA!!!! BING* BING*BING. In the shower??? Now the jig was up.

“Did you climb up on the bench in the shower, get my razor (that – I thought -- was stored up high out of reach of curious little hands), and shave off your eyebrow?”

She looked at me as if I was psychic. And then she started to cry.

“Honey, I’m not going to punish you – but I DO need to know the truth. Did you use my razor to shave off half of your eyebrow?”

She didn’t answer for a full 2 minutes. And then she composed herself and said,

“I used soap first.”

I asked her when she did it. She said that she doesn’t know how to tell that kind of time yet, but thought it was a few days ago.

I then had a long talk with her about how dangerous razors were and how she had to promise never to use one again until she was a teenager and I showed her the proper way to use one. And I told her to NEVER use a razor on any part of her face EVER -- especially near her eyes.

When she went to bed I looked through some recent photo taken in March. At her school play on March 1st she had two complete eyebrows.

But in this blow-up from a photo taken on Easter (March 23rd), the left brow abruptly ends in the middle of her eye.

So Zo Peep has been walking around for over 2 weeks with only 1 and ½ eyebrows. And I never noticed.

Sad, very sad.

4 Eyes

2008-04-03T05:48:00.000-04:00

Once upon a time when I was in elementary school, getting glasses was just about the worst thing that could happen to a kid. Glasses were a major badge of dishonor. They could label the wearer as a “nerd,” a “brain-iac” or “4 Eyes.”

I was VERY happy during my schoolage years to avoid ever needing glasses. Most of my sisters and brothers were not as lucky.

So imagine my surprise when Zo Peep announced a few months ago that she thought she needed glasses and started bugging me to take her for an eye exam. I knew that she had passed the annual vision screening at school, so I thought that her interest in eyewear was driven more by fashion than function.

But in late February after a couple months of her nagging, I decided to take her in for an exam “just in case.” The doctor’s diagnosis surprised me. She said that the Peep did have one weak eye, but that her other eye was better than 20-20 and, therefore, compensated (more or less) for the weak one. Did the Peep need glasses? She said it was my call. I could get her glasses or I could monitor the situation and bring her in for exams every year to determine if her eyesight had denigrated to the point of making glasses imperative.

Much to Little Zo Peep’s disappointment, I decided not to get glasses. But I did ask the Optometrist to write out her prescription for me in case I changed my mind in a few months. Then on March 15th I decided to get glasses for Little Zo Peep after all.

Why the change of heart? The decision was driven by two variables. First, I had a nagging feeling that I was being penny wise but pound foolish. What if my decision to pass on glasses would affect Zo Peep’s schoolwork because she couldn’t see everything the teacher was showing the class? Didn’t I want to give my daughter every chance to succeed in school?

Second, I had a financial motivation to buy glasses. I discovered on March 14th that I was going to under spend my Flexible Health care spending account by a couple hundred dollars. With these type of accounts, I lose the money if I don’t spend it. March 15th was the deadline to incur the expenses, so I needed to move fast to come up with legitimate, approvable healthcare expenses. Eyeglasses are an easy way to use up these accounts quickly.

So I reconsidered the possibility for glasses for the Peep. I concluded that specs could only help her see better and off we went to the optician to select 2 pairs – a pair & a spare.

The Peep was in 7th Heaven. She carefully evaluated each pair she was considering. She settled on a bronze colored pair with a touch of baby blue. Her other pair is charcoal with a subtle etching on the frame.

For the next week, Miss Peep would ask me if her glasses had come in yet. Finally, I got a call to pick them up and the next day she proudly wore them to school. She was soooo excited. She couldn’t wait to show everyone.

Here’s a shot of her in her favorite pair on that first day:

I liked watching her excitement as she showed off her specs that first day. That evening she told me how everyone thought her new glasses were very cool. I think it’s great that glasses are no longer considered something for which a kids needs to feel shame. Even though I often think about my own childhood as the “good ol’ days,” it is important to remember that on some issues (like the social acceptance of eyewear), THESE are the good ol’ days.

No Foolin'

2008-04-02T21:50:00.002-04:00

Even though yesterday was April Fool’s Day, this is not a joke. You are reading an ACTUAL posting from Mama Hen – that once prolific, recently absent blogger.

Work issues still are hot, but I’ve gotten over some big short-term requirements and have enough breathing room to start posting again -- at least for a while.

I’m still not sure if I can get back to writing daily, but I know that I can get a couple postings out each week.

I’ve missed writing for the last month. I’ve seen things happen with the girls and feel badly that I didn’t capture the moment when they were fresh in my mind.

A lot is going on with the girls – teeth erupting in Libby Doodle Doo, teeth falling out in Zo Peep. The Doodle took her first step yesterday; the Peep got eyeglasses last week – all important milestones that need to be captured for posterity.

In addition we’ve had some sweet moments of sisterly love; hilarious experiences with sibling rivalry and sad moments of an absentee mama. More details to follow.

Happy Easter

2008-03-23T23:50:00.002-04:00

I hope everyone had a nice holiday.

Our weather here was very chilly ( a high of 45 for the day. Easter morning was in the high 30's). My plan to have the chickees in lovely complementary Spring dresses was somewhat compromised since they had to wear sweaters to keep their arms warm and -- unfortunately -- had to wear their winter coats atop these lovely wispy confections.

I've included a couple photos of my beauties in these sweet dresses -- taken inside since it was much too cold to photograph the girls in the garden. The dresses are embroidered raw silk with just a touch of sparkle (somewhat seen in the Doodle's dress in the second photo). I bought them on a 75% off close out sale a whole year before I received my referral for Libby Doodle Doo. They are a little big for each girl so they will get more wear out of them. My brother is planning to get married in August -- so they will make lovely dresses for his wedding.

Speaking of confections -- Easter is one of Zo Peep's favorite holidays because it means candy, candy, candy. Fortunately we used small baskets for each girl. And God bless the Easter bunny who included movies, books and small toys along with a couple candy treats for each girl.

The real sugar fest came during the annual egg hunt in the afternoon (each egg contained a candy treat). Zo Peep had some competition with Libby Doodle Doo (who received help from cousin Monica and Mama Hen) but remained victorious finding 33 eggs to Libby's 17. I look forward to this hunt in a few years when Libby Doodle Doo can truly give the Peep a run for her money.

My sister had us and a large collection of relatives over for dinner -- including her step son and daughter-in-law who are adopting a little boy from Korea. They have their referral already and are hoping to receive him in June or July (he will come to the US, so they won't travel to Korea). He was born on January 1st 2007 -- so he's a little over 2 months older than Libby Doodle Doo. He is already 25 pounds (compared to Libby Doodle Doo's 17 -- YIKES). My sister had his photo on her fridge and the Doodle couldn't stop staring at it. She babbled as she pointed to the photo (I think the translation of her babbling was something like, "Hubba, Hubba, Hubba. What a hunk.").

Posting is still going to be a challenge for me until the first of the month. Work is frenetic and I'm still sleeping only a couple hours a night so that I can complete all of my projects. The girls have been troopers through this month and I continue to reserve what little free time I have to spend with them.

The Doodle is on the cusp of taking her first steps. Her hair has really started to grow and is looking more lovely every day. She's still teething and I pray for the day that those bottom teeth finally erupt through the gum line.

The Peep is showing a huge interest in cooking and is embracing her inner chef. She's made Saturday morning breakfast for the family for the past 2 weekends and loves to whip up some of her favorites. She loves cooking so much that she asked me this weekend if we can switch her May birthday to a cooking theme (we were going to have a Fiesta theme). And my tomboy Peep is getting excited about Spring and hopes to join a baseball team (I'm guessing T-ball) soon.

Zo Peep also has become quite a help lately with Libby Doodle Doo. I'm very proud of her attentive big sister behavior. And the Doodle loves it too. She carefully follows everything Zo Peep does and laughs and giggles when her big sister comes into the room.

Here's my final shot of my girls:

Whatever Happened to.......?

2008-03-14T05:52:00.007-04:00

When I read blogs, I sometimes wonder how some things that the blogger wrote about ultimately turned out.

So here are some quick update of subjects I’ve discussed in previous posts to keep everyone informed of what’s happened since I first wrote about them:

#####################

Videos from my China Trip.

When I first got back from China, I discovered that my brand new IMovie Mac software program would not import my hours and hours of High Definition video that I had taken with my brand new video camera during my trip. Net, net I can’t edit any of the video that I shot.

After a couple attempts to work around this issue and after talking to some people who are much more tech savvy than me, it looks like I have to go and get another editing software program. Some friends of my babysitter are figuring out the best one for me to use (not so sophisticated that I won’t be able to self-teach myself how to use it, but not so unsophisticated that I’ll have the same problems I have with IMovie).

This setback has been a real bummer. I spent a lot of money on the software program in December and LOTS of money on the High Definition video camera in January – I’m still amazed that these two items aren’t compatible – shouldn’t a brand new Apple editing software program be designed to work with High Definition???

Are you reading this, Stephen Jobs?

The Beach Bead Chain

In an attempt to get my chickadees out of the door by 7:15AM each morning, I instituted a Beach Bead incentive on Feb 25.

Every morning that we make it out of the door on time and without any hassles (whining, pouting, arguments about what to wear, etc), Zo Peep gets a bead that she adds to a string. When she accumulates 100 beads, I’ll take her (and Libby Doodle Doo and myself) on an incremental vacation to a beach.

We’ve been doing this for 14 days. So far, Zo Peep has earned 8 beads. Even on the 6 days in which she hasn’t earned a bead, we’ve gotten out of the house much earlier than we were before and with much less contention. So I think it’s been a great success.

I’ve counted out the 100 beads with her when we started and put them in a glass jar in the kitchen. When she earns it, Zo Peep really takes pleasure in picking her bead out of the jar and stringing it on her string. We have the string hanging on the back door of the kitchen.

When my sister came to visit us for Libby Doodle Doo’s birthday on March 2nd, Zo Peep told her about the Beach Bead Chain.

“And when I get 100 beads, mommy is going to take us to Hawaii.”

WHAT!!! Who said anything about Hawaii? I’m trying to manage Miss Peep’s expectation of exactly where this beach will be.

My Obsession with Teeth

For someone who is not in the dental profession, I write a lot about teeth – losing teeth, cutting teeth, brushing teeth etc.

Zo Peep still is waiting for her second tooth to fall out. I think we have about two or three more weeks to go before we face another traumatic night with the tooth fairy.

Maybe I can time the loss of her tooth to Easter and our annual visit from the Easter Bunny. That way I may ask Mr. Bunny to pick up the tooth and deliver it to the Tooth Fairy – so that the Peep doesn’t have to freak out again that Ms. Fairy is reaching under her pillow as she sleeps.

Libby Doodle Doo is still in cranky teething mode. Even daycare personnel - who usually talk about how pleasant she is - have been commenting on the Doodle’s very cranky behavior. Gee I hope these two lower teeth erupt soon—we could use the peace at home.

Miss Peep has fully embraced the need to brush and floss since learning about it twice in school last month. We are using individual flossers and she is doing it every morning and evening like clockwork. I still haven’t purchased a fluoride rinse for her yet. I always think about it at home, but never put it on a grocery list.

Friday Fish Fry

We’ve gone back once to the local church’s Lenten Fish Fry. The second time was even more pleasant than the first. My sister met us there and we had a really nice time. We were put at a table with a really nice lady and her daughter (age about 8 I’m guessing). They were a very nice family and we enjoyed getting to know them.

Libby Doodle Doo was in rare form that night and entertained the crowd a lot. One volunteer came over to talk to me about her and about adopting from China. She told me that she always dreamed of adopting from China, but with 7 children (yes, you read that correctly – 7 children) she was never able to save enough money to do it. God bless her – 7 children.

And I think 2 are overwhelming at times.

The Hen House on TV

Late last year I wrote a posting on how the HGTV show, “What you get for the Money” came in 07 and filmed the Hen House – plus the Peep and me – for a future segment of their show (I think it’s going to be the show about what you get for VERY LITTLE money – since it seems most of the homes featured on that show cost in excess of $500 thousand).

The production company wrote to me and told me that they aren’t going to air the shows in my series (My episode is 702) until 2009!!! I’m trying to convince them to send me the video (ideally the raw video, too) before then. They shot for 9.5 hours and took lots of video of the Peep who was very, very hammy that day. I’d love to see that.

Hey maybe I can edit it with the new software I’m getting!

Dancing with Demon Coffee

2008-03-13T03:43:00.003-04:00

I love coffee.

Let me repeat that statement: I LOVE Coffee.

But the wicked truth is Coffee does not love me. I used to drink so much of that black java that I'd get jittery from all the caffeine. And my stomach would do volcanic flip flops from all of the acid. But those minor setbacks didn't stop me.

In fact, I used to drink 6 to 8 cups a day. Every day. The real stuff -- high test. None of that Decaf brown water, impostor stuff for me. I didn't really wake up until I heard that drip, drip, drip from my coffee maker and smelled that irresistible aroma as the hot water co-mingled with the ground beans to create that awesome elixir.

And then -- last Christmas -- I got sick with a bad cold and flu. Now this probably sounds strange coming from a coffee addict, but the only time I don't lust after coffee is when I'm sick.

In fact when I'm sick I don't like the smell or the taste of the stuff at all. Strange, huh? My Christmas sickness lasted a long time too -- almost 7 days. My illness lasted so long that I went through total caffeine withdrawal during my recovery. It was horrible. I had skull-splitting headaches that felt like I was being stabbed in my eyes with ice picks (on top of lousy cold and flu symptoms).

When the cold was finally gone and I craved my cup of Joe again, I paused and re-considered this vice. After all I had just detoxifying my body from the clutches of caffeine -- did I really want to jump back into caffeine's seductive embrace.

I said NO. I decided to stay on the coffee-free wagon as long as possible. I figured that anything that had so many side effects when I drank it and anything that punished me so much when I stopped taking it was probably not healthy for my system.

And I was doing great. No coffee in late December, no coffee in January, no coffee in February, no coffee in early March and then WHAM!!!

I've fallen off the wagon.

As I mentioned a few posts ago my job has been crazy and stressful lately. I've been working after the girls are in bed, sleep for a couple hours and then get up between 3 and 3:30 AM to work some more. I was so very tired after working all weekend that I succumbed to temptation on Monday.

That morning I opened that untouched can of Folgers and made a pot -- a big one. I drank 10 cups from 3AM until I left for work a little after 7AM. On Tuesday morning I drank 8 cups. This morning I had 6. Once I get to work I'm making hourly trips to the coffee pot. I've fallen so far in only 3 days.

Work will continue to be impossibly busy for the next couple weeks so I know to get through I'm going to need to rely on my caffeine crutch a little while longer. But when things calm down at the end of March (I hope), I'm going to try to kick the habit again.

Maybe you all can act as my sponsors and help me get back on the road of coffee recovery. I can give y'all a call whenever I get the uncontrollable urge to get in my car and drive to the next Starbucks.

Coffee. I need to learn to Just Say NO!

9 Days

2008-03-12T04:51:00.004-04:00

On March 11th , 2007 a little baby was found in the Jiangxi province in China. The baby was left with a note -- a torn and crumbled piece of red paper with a tiny date scrawled across the bottom . The date listed was -- March 2nd, 2007 -- nine days earlier and the birthdate of the little baby.

No other information was included.

That little baby is my Libby Doodle Doo.

Nine days. Libby Doodle Doo's birth mother delivered her on March 2nd and kept her for 9 days.

Nine days is a long time. Look at the postings I've done in the last 9 days (ok, I know I missed 2) and what's happened to my family in those days. Think about your own life and all the things that you've done in the last nine days. Now think about those nine days when Libby Doodle Doo was with her birth mother.

In those nine days her birth mother fed Libby Doodle Doo (probably breast fed her). She held her. She saw her sleep. She may have even rocked her to sleep. She may have seen -- just as I have every morning when I awaken her -- how Libby Doodle Doo breaks out in the biggest smile the moment she sees her mommy in the morning.

She saw her suck her thumb (it's obvious from how mis- shapen the Doodle's thumb is that she probably been sucking it even when she was still in the womb) . Did the sucking thumb bring her joy and make her smile (like it did for me) or did she try to break her daughter of that habit. She may have caressed the full, thick head of hair that Miss Libby had at birth (based on the photo in her finding ad).

Over the last nine days I've been imagining what those nine days were like. I been thinking about what was going through her birth mother's head during those nine days. I ask myself -- did Libby Doodle Doo's mother struggle with the decision she finally made on March 11th? Did she exhaust all possible options for keeping this precious little girl -- and finally gave up on the 11th.

Was she by herself for these nine days or were these days filled with heated arguments with her boyfriend, her husband, her in-laws, her parents? Was the decision to give up Libby Doodle Doo hers -- or did she acquiesce to someone else's decision?

I may never know the answers to any of these questions. But the fact remains -- Libby Doodle Doo's birth mother kept Libby Doodle Doo for the first nine days that she was on this planet.

Nine Days!!!

Sunday Shorts

2008-03-09T11:15:00.004-04:00

Here are some quickee stories for this quickee day (I really would love to get back the hour I lost to Daylight Savings Time this morning):

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Dinner last night was very nice. I selected Olive Garden as our restaurant – nice enough to have wine, but family friendly enough so that my girls would not be the only children there. Libby Doodle Doo displayed her usual “bottomless pit” appetite. I finally shut her off after a full 90 minutes of non-stop eating. Little Zo Peep started to feel feverish three-quarters through dinner. She put her coat on to overcome her chills and later wrapped my coat around herself too. By the end of dinner she had fallen asleep in her chair. We got home at 9 and I put both of them to sleep. Zo Peep is back to normal this morning. Libby Doodle Doo has a very runny nose and may have the beginnings of a cold (no fever yet).

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

I continue to see differences between my two girls. We had to wait over 30 minutes for our table last night. In the lobby area – and then later at the table – Libby Doodle Doo really worked the crowd. She waved BYE BYE to folks as they left the restaurant or went inside to be seated. She babbled to anyone who sat near us. She established eye contact and then laughed and giggled to people in the lobby area or at other tables. Throughout the evening I saw people watching her and commenting to their companions about my little one.

Zo Peep -- as a baby -- was much more introverted. She would watch people, but not interact with them. Plenty of people would approach me about Zo Peep because she was always such a strikingly attractive baby and toddler – but they had little interaction with her. I get comments on Libby Doodle Doo looks too, but many more about her personality and for the high level of activity that she displays at all times.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
It’s snowy and cold here today, but very,very sunny – with azure skies and wispy white clouds. I always find if the sun is out the temperature (no matter what the thermometer says) doesn’t feel quite as bad. This “well at least it is sunny” attitude always got me through the wicked cold winters I experienced in Chicago during grad school and in Wisconsin when I worked there.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
My work life is VERY busy these days. I returned on Feb 11th to not one BUT TWO business catastrophes , not to mention some general business issues that need to be addressed ASAP. And although I have a great hard-working team, we’ve been short staffed for over 6 months. So I may have to cut back on my posting schedule for the next month or so. I’m still going to try to write daily, but want to give you all the heads up that I may miss a posting once or twice each week. -- I hope not, but may have to.

Happy Birthday to Me

2008-03-08T10:09:00.006-05:00

At approximately 12:45 AM this morning many, many years ago (more than I would like to admit), I was born.

So today – March 8th – is Mama Hen’s birthday.

Here are some stories from my most memorable past birthdays:

########

My mom had no memories of my birth because she was totally knocked out on whatever drugs they gave delivering mothers back then. In fact, she sometimes mistakenly said my birthday was March 7th because she went into labor on that day.

My mom suspected that I was born breech because when she first saw me I was bruised and dented and very, very red. She never asked her doctor – which I find absolutely amazing.

I was my parents’ third child and they were convinced that I was a boy – so they never had picked out a girl’s name. My dad would tell the story that when my mom was still unconscious, the nurse asked him what the baby’s name would be. My dad always wanted a red-headed girl named Thelma. When he looked at me (and I was very, very red all over), he almost christened me Thelma, but (wisely) decided to wait until my mom woke up.

I guess if I had been named Thelma I could always have joined a group of Teenage Mystery Solvers and hung out with a Great Dane named Scooby Doo (fact check -- sorry her name was Velma -- not Thelma.)

Childhood birthdays were much different for me than they have been/will be for my girls. I was the third of six children. We didn’t have birthday parties every year. On our birthdays we’d get a homemade cake – first made by my mom, later by my mom and siblings -- and we’d get to pick what we’d eat for dinner that night (my favorite was Ham steak, mashed potatoes and creamed peas – YUCK!!!). We’d get one small gift. I did have a birthday party on my 6th birthday and once again when I turned 11 or 12 or 13 (I can’t remember). They were small get-togethers with a few kids.

########

Fast forward to college. For my 21st birthday I had planned this magical evening where I would sample all the cocktails that I had always heard about while growing up. I was raised in a blue collar family. My parents didn’t drink cocktails or wine. My dad was a beer guy; my mom would (very rarely) take a shot of Irish whiskey or bourbon.

But I used to watch old movies on TV where people would drink exotic cocktails like Manhattans and Martinis and Brandy Alexander’s and Rob Roys and Daiquiris. So on my 21st birthday (BTW I really had not tried much alcohol before this night – so innocent), I went from bar to bar, showed my ID and ordered one of every drink imaginable. To this day I don’t remember how I got home. I was sick for the entire next day – it’s the first and only time I every got drunk.

########

My next most memorable birthday happened when I turned 40. I was married at the time (had been with my husband since turning 25) and was – for the first time in my life – sad about an upcoming birthday. It wasn’t turning 40 that was the bummer. It was the realization that - if I didn’t do something soon - I would never have the opportunity to become a mom.

I always wanted kids (my ideal plan was to have 4 – 2 bio’s & 2 adopted). I always told my husband that I wanted kids. He wasn’t as keen on the idea. When we got married, he said he wanted to wait until the right time – when we knew our relationship was solid and when we were in the right place in our life. I was ok with waiting awhile.

Unfortunately, after a few years when I approached him with the prospect of having kids, his answer was all the same, “Not now, later.”

On the day I turned 40, I knew that it was now or never. I told my husband that I wanted to spend my birthday by myself. I went to a museum, took myself to lunch, did some shopping and I thought and thought and thought about being a mother. I cried at the prospect of possibly losing my husband in order to follow my dream to raise a family. But by the end of the day, I resolved that I couldn’t imagine my life without kids.

Shortly after my birthday, my husband and I started to visit a marriage counselor to resolve the issue about starting a family. Through those counseling sessions my husband finally admitted to me (and I think to himself) that he NEVER wanted children.

I then had to make the heart-wrenching decision to stay with him and forgo ever being a mother or to leave him and do it on my own. You all know what path I chose.

########

I’ll end my birthday memories with a very happy one. In March of 2003 I was awaiting travel to China to meet Little Zo Peep.

I had not settled on a name for her before receiving my referral. I had a short list of family names to use. My plan had been to wait until I met my little one and determine which one fit her best. But the week before my birthday I had received forms that needed to be sent in on the 10th of March. On these forms I needed to fill in the name I was going to call her.

So on my birthday, my sister, my teenage niece and I went out for dinner and spent the entire dinner discussing the pros and cons of my list of names. By the end of that dinner I selected Little Zo Peep’s name. – And this became my most wonderful birthday ever.

This year I expect to have another wonderful birthday. My girls and I are going to go out to dinner. I’ll buy a nice glass of wine for myself and the three of us – Zo Peep with some soda pop in a wineglass, Libby Doodle Doo with some juice in a sippy and I will toast my birthday. Perhaps this birthday – and all birthdays that follow -- will forevermore be my best ones yet.

Teething Trauma

2008-03-07T05:59:00.005-05:00

Poor Libby Doodle Doo. She’s been teething almost non-stop since I first met her in China in Mid-January.

She already had her two lower central incisors when she was first placed in my arms.

During our two weeks in China she cut her upper central incisors.

During the next 3 weeks at home she cut her upper lateral incisors

Then she had 2 weeks of respite to enjoy her 6 nifty chompers.

But since last week she is back to teething again and is now cutting her two lower central incisors.

She’s having a really hard time with these buggers and has been unusually cranky, drooling and had some bad diarrhea (I know the experts say it’s not related to teething, but my mommy sense and experience says it is).

The good news is that once these two guys make their appearance she (and we) should have a little rest from teething until the upper cuspids start to emerge in about 4 months from now.

Of course, her big sis is in the process of loosing her baby incisors. Oh, the circle of life.

BTW, we’ve tried lots of teething biscuits in the last 2 months. The Doodle’s favorite by far are the Barley Teething Biscuits pictured above. Barley????? Really??? Go Figure???

Seuss on the Loose

2008-03-06T20:10:00.006-05:00

(Ted Geisel aka Dr. Seuss shares a birthday with my Libby Doodle Doo - March 2nd). I loved Dr. Seuss as a kid and credit him with helping me learn to love to read. It's nice to know that Little Zo Peep's school is celebrating his birthday all week long.)

This week has been a busy one
Zo Peep thinks it’s been lots of fun

To celebrate the birthday of Dr. Seuss
And the joy of reading to introduce,
Her school has offered 5 themed days
Where silly clothing can be displayed

On Monday they read Oh the Places You Will Go
And represented places they’ve visited with their clothes

Tuesday was Cat in the Hat
You probably can deduce what they wore for that

Wednesday was a Wacky Wednesday theme
And Zo Peep created an outfit that went to the extreme

Today is crazy socks on her feet
As they read Fox in Socks – which is oh so neat

The week ends reading The Sleep Book
And the kids will wear PJ’s for a real nocturnal look

It’s nice to know that books that brought us joy
When we all were just a girl or boy
Are bringing smiles to a new generation
And giving them a great reading foundation.

Homework in Kindergarten????

2008-03-05T06:32:00.008-05:00

Every Tuesday, Little Zo Peep brings home a homework packet from school that she needs to complete and turn in before Friday. The first time she brought this home, I was in shock.

Homework in Kindergarten?

Back in my day Kindergarten was a half day program that consisted of finger paints and naps and snacks with chocolate milk.

In Zo Peep’s full day program, she writes in journals, practices penmanship, learns about the properties of wood and paper, studies famous artists (she corrected my pronunciation of Joan Miro recently), reads, practices vocabulary words, and learns arithmetic.

Her homework usually consists of about 8 pages of worksheets in which she needs to identify phonetic sounds, look for patterns, write in missing sounds, add or subtract objects, practice her writing and read a story and then illustrate it.

Here she is doing her homework at the Kitchen table last Tuesday.

And here are some pictures from this morning. She woke up at 6:10 AM and is working on her homework packet as I type this entry.

With homework in Kindergarten, will she be doing Term Papers in 1st grade?

Peter Pan's Shadow

2008-03-04T06:23:00.008-05:00

"O Peter, no wonder you were crying," she said, and got out of bed and ran to him.
"I wasn't crying about mothers," he said rather indignantly. "I was crying because I can't get my shadow to stick on. Besides, I wasn't crying."
"It has come off?"
"Yes."
Then Wendy saw the shadow on the floor, looking so draggled, and she was frightfully sorry for Peter."How awful!" she said, but she could not help smiling when she saw that he had been trying to stick it on with soap. How exactly like a boy!
Fortunately, she knew at once what to do. "It must be sewn on," she said.

-J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan

When Libby Doodle Doo came to America and joined our family, she brought with her a long shadow that stretched across the ocean and back to China. It is the shadow of her mother. This shadow will stay with her the rest of her life.

My Little Zo Peep has lived for almost six years with her ghostly shadow. And I – as their adoptive mother – reside not only with my lovely girls but also with these Peter Pan Shadows of the unseen women who have created them.

Whenever my girls have a birthday, I can’t help but reflect on their birthparents and – in particular – their birthmothers. I think about my girls’ relationship with these shadowy figures as well as my own relationship with them.

I must admit that I have not always been comfortable with these phantoms. For example, I’ve always talked about adoption to Zo Peep since she was a baby. We celebrated the fact that she was born in China, but for years I never talked directly about the person to whom she was born.

In fact I remember when I would read the popular adoption book, I Love You Like Crazy Cakes to Little Zo Peep and skip the passage about the adoptive mom thinking about the baby’s mom in China.

I couldn’t get my mouth to vocalize the word “birthmother” to Zo Peep. I must have felt that admitting to her birthmom’s existence somehow diminished my own place in her world.

I finally made peace with the undeniable truth that Little Zo Peep was a part of her birthmom and her birthmom was part of the Peep. I couldn’t wish her shadow away, or ignore it or stand in it and pretend that this shadow came from me instead.

The long wait to adopt Libby Doodle Doo brought the issue out in the open. When I told Little Zo Peep (then age 3) about getting a little sister, she first thought the new baby was growing in my tummy. I corrected her and said that the new baby was not growing in my tummy, but instead in my heart.

Of course, that confused her even more. I remember one night I was suffering from severe heartburn and told Miss Zo Peep about it. Her reply: “Mommy, is Libby making your heart burn?”

The fateful day came on December 15, 2006 when we were talking about babies and Zo Peep said to me,

"I didn't grow in your tummy, Mommy. I grew in your heart."

I could have let it go, but I saw this as an opportunity to help her ask the right question. So I said, "Sweetie, my love for you did grow in my heart. It is still growing. But all babies -- you included -- have to grow in a tummy. That's how babies are born."

She hardly missed a beat. "Whose tummy did I grow in mommy?"

So I fumbled and I stammered and I told her about her birth mother in China and how we didn’t know who she was or where she lived.

I was relieved once this information was finally revealed.

Since that time Little Zo Peep and I occasionally talk about her birthmom. I let her set the pace. When she has questions or comments we discuss them.

We haven’t had the BIG talk about why she isn’t living with her birthmom. I know it will come and I will be ready for it (well, I THINK I’m ready for it. Time will tell if I do it well).

I can now read to passage about the birthmom in I Love You Like Crazy Cakes to both of my girls (just did it last Friday). I guess I’m comfortable enough in my own skin as a mommy to share the stage with my girls' other two mommies.

I'm sure that I can talk about Libby Doodle Doo’s birthmom from the get-go as I talk to her about her adoption.

I realize that the shadows of these 2 mothers will always be with us. And sadly - unlike Peter Pan’s shadow - they may never be re-attached to their rightful owner. But I know that if they are not , we will live with their shadowy forms and welcome them as part of our family.

Birthday Bash

2008-03-03T05:05:00.016-05:00

Just a few random thoughts and pictures from Libby Doodle Doo's birthday:

#####Libby Doodle Doo first woke up a little after 5AM in the morning. It's not unusual for the Doodle to wake up a few times every night. I hear her on the baby monitor cooing or babbling and then she goes back to sleep.

What was unusual about this awakening is that she was crying. As I waited to see if she would put herself back to sleep (she did after a few minutes), I couldn't help but wonder if this time was significant to her soul -- was this the moment that she was born a year ago in China, was her birth mother trying to make a cosmic link to her from China at that precise time -- so many unknowns in the very short past of this little girl.

#####Typically, Miss Doodle is all smiles and giggles when I come to get her out of the crib first thing in the morning. Yesterday was not a typical morning. Fortunately, her mood improved once I put the camera down and picked her up.

#####Little Zo Peep and I got a ???GREAT???? idea yesterday -- instead of talking to Libby Doodle Doo, we would sing all of our conversations using the tune "Happy Birthday to You." This way -- Miss Zo Peep surmised -- the Doodle would become acquainted with the tune.

Libby Doodle Doo must have thought we were daft. She looked at us as if we had 3 heads. Here's a sampling from our morning (Of course, sung to the tune of Happy Birthday):

Did you poop your pants?
Did you poop your pants?
Mommy needs to change your diaper.
If you pooped your pants.

#####At about 1PM my sister visited to wish Miss Doodle a happy birthday. We put a candle in a cupcake (place out of arms reach) and sang Happy birthday:

And then the chaos began. Egged on by her big sister, Libby Doodle Doo dove into the cupcake.

And then after taking a short break to suck her thumb (made especially thumb-licious with all that icing), She decided that her hair needed a cupcake conditioning treatment:

First, let's rub it into the back. And let's not forget this side:

#####After her 2nd bath, I dressed Libby Doodle Doo (only for a few minutes) in this gorgeous silk dress with velvet bolero. This dress was supposed to arrive to allow her to wear it for the Dance reception last night. Instead, it arrrived at noontime today. I couldn't get the Doodle to sit still on the chair. Although not a great photo, this shot shows off the dress best:

#####During Libby Doodle Doo's morning nap, Zo Peep made party hats out of gift wrapping paper for her sister (who wouldn't keep it on her head long enough to take a picture):

And for herself. She presented those to Miss Libby after her bath (I tried-- unsuccessfully -- to get photos with both girls wearing them):

But I did get both of my girls together for this special day (another shot of the dress)

#####At dinner time my friend Andrea and her family came for a visit. I ordered pizza and soup and salads from a local delivery joint (Andrea insisted on picking up the tab -- thank you) and Andrea brought a homemade chocolate cake for the Doodle.

We had a great visit. Little Zo Peep played with Andrea's 3 boys and the Doodle got to know some knew friends. We all sat together during dinner (done on paper plates -- so no clean up for me) and had a nice visit. The cake was very yummy.

When they left, I changed Libby Doodle and put her to bed. A very nice day.

One more thing -- when we went shopping for Libby Doodle Doo's gift, Miss Zo Peep selected a reproduction of a vintage Fisher Price toy from the 50's.

I think my oldest brother had this toy when he was a baby. Libby Doodle Doo loves it --- clearly her favorite gift of the day. Maybe they don't make toys like they used to.

Signing off.

Libby Doodle Doo Turns One Today!!!

2008-03-02T08:09:00.006-05:00

Well first and foremost a very, very happy first birthday to my baby girl Libby Doodle Doo who turns the BIG 01!!!!!! Today.

We’re planning a low key celebration. I still need to clean up from the insanity that was yesterday. I’m letting the girls sleep in as long as they can/want to. Then we all need to take good baths/showers (Zo Peep in particular who has glitter all through her hair and on her body).

I’m going to let the girls dress in nice, comfy clothes and then take them to breakfast. Church may happen today – or maybe not. I’ll decide later this morning.

I’m going to spend the day with the girls playing (maybe out in the snow) and chillin’

Plans are still unresolved for the actual birthday celebration. My close-by siblings have been out of town on business all week. They get home today, but neither has confirmed if they are going to stop by. A friend of mine – who hasn’t met Miss Libby yet—talked about coming over with her kids and fiancee. I need to call her this morning and see if they still can/want to visit.

************************

Now for a recap of yesterday. The day was as hectic and crazy as predicted but did contain some very sweet moments:

*We went to a different Mandarin Class than our usual. Even though Zo Peep knew almost all of the other kids there, she became very shy and unwilling to leave my side to participate. So Libby and I ventured to the other side of the room to learn Mandarin with the class. Zo Peep followed in a heartbeat and was in the flow in a couple of minutes. I never thought of Libby Doodle Doo as possible solution to help Zo Peep overcome her shy moments – but I may have discovered a new secret weapon in that unending challenge.

*The funniest and most terrifying moment of the day came during the performance of The Little Red Hen. I don’t know if I caught it on tape or not. Zo Peep was one of the 3 Mouse Narrators of the story and stayed on stage (well it was in the Library, so not really a “stage”) for the entire play.

About halfway through the play she crossed her legs in a fashion that I immediately knew was NOT a good sign. Less than a minute later she put her hands down to hold herself. Good gosh Zo Peep had to go to the bathroom. She swayed and looked very uncomfortable. I was trying to talk her through it -- mouthing some words that she needed to hold it in her head, not “literally” hold it. Parents around me understood what was going on and were getting quite a chuckle. I was praying that she didn’t lose it – an event like that could follow a child throughout school.

But Zo Peep -- my little trooper -- got through the play. She took her bow with the class and ran from the stage with me in hot pursuit (I made spur-of-the-moment arrangements with a parent I know to watch Libby Doodle Doo for me). The Peep made it to the Ladies Room with no problem – thank God.

*The Dance Performance went well. Zo Peep did not smile or sparkle as much as she usually does during the dance (I suspect the bright lights may have eroded her confidence a little). She remembered MOST of the steps. There were some other performances that were truly outstanding. Some very talented dancers attend that school.

*The party afterwards was really great – and we almost missed it. I had packed our party clothes (I thought) early in the morning, but realized that I didn’t pack tights for Libby Doodle Doo. Plus, the Doodle spit up her formula on me right before the performance. It wasn’t much and I cleaned it up, but I could still smell it on my sweater.

So we went home first to get changed for the party. I almost decided to blow off the event, but Zo Peep really wanted to attend. Even though we didn’t get home until 10PM (oh, my), I’m glad we did.

They had a DJ and – no surprise, it is after all a dance school – everyone was dancing up a storm. We missed some of the earlier events but while we were there they had a hula hoop contest, a limbo contest, a conga line, the Macarena and a slow dance with parents and kids (well, they called it a father/daughter dance – but I went out with my girls). I’ve never gone to a dress up party with kids before – if they all are as nice as this one, I need to do it again .

I didn’t get both girls to sleep until almost 11PM. And then I went to sleep—leaving the car unpacked and the house an absolute wreck. Lots of clean-up to do today.

So we survived yesterday and today will be loads of lovely 1st birthday memories.

(a special thank you to my photographer who supplied the birthday photo from Libby Doodle Doo's first photographic session held last week. When I told him that I wanted to post a birthday photo to my blog, he was nice enough to send me one of the digital proofs. Gotta tell you cleaning that pink icing off of her feet was a real challenge.)

Go With The Flow

2008-03-01T07:43:00.004-05:00

Thanks for everyone’s suggestions about how to cope with this insanely crazy day. I've adopted many of them.

I also have decided -- as one reader suggested -- to add some flexibility to my attitude and to look for the humor and joy in my day. Those 2 things should improve the outcome by 1000%.

For example, Zo Peep woke up at 6am today – not at her scheduled 6:30 am time. She did breakfast and then asked to go out and play in the snow. I said OK. She’s been in and out dozens of times sharing her observations about the day – e.g. consistency of the snow, size of the icicles, sounds she hears as the birds wake up, a black cat that wandered into our backyard.

The last visit she told me about a story she heard at school. One of the teachers was outside playing in the snow with her kids and husband. They were making snowballs and throwing them against their house. The snow was very icy and one of the snowballs that the daddy threw broke one of the windows.

“And guess what, mommy.”

“What, babe.”

“The daddy got in trouble. Not the kids – the daddy.”

“Wow.”

“I hope our daddy gets into trouble like that – Well, I mean after you find him.”

And then she turned around and went back outside.

Little Zo Peep – never forgetting her role as matchmaker for her mom.

My trunk is almost packed – with food and diaper bags and a stroller and changes of clothes. I only have a few more things to put in.

It’s 7:28 and the Libster is still asleep (also not on my original schedule). I’m going to wake her up now.

I hope everyone has a nice Saturday. I'll try to give a quick recap of the day when we return tonight -- no guarantee, but I'll try.

Saturday Tsunami

2008-02-29T04:39:00.006-05:00

I am really dreading Saturday and I need your help.

It doesn't happen often, but Saturday is a day jammed-packed with so many activities that I know that Libby Doodle Doo and Little Zo Peep will have a meltdown -- and maybe Mama Hen, too.

I have found that over-scheduling is one of the worse things I can do as a mom. I've made many mistakes doing it in the past when Little Zo Peep was younger. I thought I had learned from those errors, but apparently not. Plus, I just cringe at the thought of what adding Libby Doodle Doo to this madness will do.

Typically Saturday involve attending a 1 hour Mandarin Class for Little Zo Peep in the morning from 10:45 till 11:45. Then we then spend the rest of the day relaxing and recharging.

This Saturday -- March 1st -- is NOT a typically Saturday.

We've known for months that Little Zo Peep has an important dance performance that involves her entire Chinese dance school on Saturday. It will be held at a theatre in the cultural center of our city -- which will be a big stage with theatre lights -- all very exciting. The performance is sold out so I think it is an event that will be well-attended by the local community. The Peep -- and, therefore, we -- will have to be at the theatre venue hours and hours before the performance begins.

About 3 weeks ago, the dance instructor sent an invitation that she was hosting a celebratory reception after the dance performance. I knew how long the instructor had worked with Zo Peep's class to perfect their dance. I wanted to honor and thank her for all of her hard work and dedication, so I RSVP'd that we would attend. This reception will stretch into the evening.

At the same time I received a notice from Zo Peep's school that they were hosting their annual Art's Odyssey on Saturday March 1st. This event is a day-long event and includes musical performances, dance, art exhibits from the entire school. It also includes the world debut of Z's kindergarten class performing The Little Red Hen at 11:50am.

I talked to Zo Peep about the conflict with the dance class performance later that day and how I didn't think we could do all of these things in the same day. But she really, really wanted to perform with her Kindergarten class -- so I(against my better judgement), acquiesced and committed that we would be there.

So here is our Saturday:

*Mama Hen wakes up -- obscenely early

*Kids Wake Up 6:45AM

*Breakfast 7:15AM till 8AM

*Get ready 8AM till 9AM

*Leave house at 9 AM

*Attend Mandarin Class from 9:30Am until 10:30 AM (Rescheduled to attend an earlier session)

*Find Restaurant for mid morning snack. Eat 10:30am to 11:15AM

*Arrive school at 11:30 AM

*Red Hen Performance 11:50AM to 12:15PM

*Eat lunch in car as we drive to theatre for the dance performance 12:20 to 1:15PM

*Arrive at theatre for dance rehearsal -- 1:15PM

*Zo Peep gets into wardrobe, hair & makeup (her favorite part, my least favorite) 1:30 to 2:15

*Zo Peep dress rehearses 2:15 to 3PM

*Find way to eat mid-afternoon snack (food is not permitted in the theatre) 3PM-3:30PM

*Dance Performance 4PM to 5:30PM

*Little Zo Peep & Libby Doodle Doo change into party clothes 5:30PM to 6PM

*Drive to reception 6PM to 6:15PM

*Post performance Reception 6:30PM to 8:30PM

*Drive home and collapse -- 9PM

Doesn't that just make your head hurt? I developed this schedule last night to see how I was going to survive the day. There are things I need to do during the day (e.g. pick up cupcakes for Libby Doodle Doo's birthday on Sunday) that aren't even shoehorned into this schedule yet. And what about naps for Libby Doodle Doo? When (and where) is that poor baby going to get to sleep.

And me -- I'll be weighed down like a pack mule. Forget my diaper bag -- I will probably need a small suitcase of baby supplies to get through through this day. And then I'll have to have some activity stuff to fill the dead times in Zo Peep's afternoon to keep her occupied and out of mischief. I'll probably have to pack a cooler full of snacks and drinks for both Zo Peep and the Doodle. Plus I'll need Zo Peep's dance case (with hair supplies and the dreaded stage make-up). Oh and don't forget the reception. I'll need to pack a change of clothes for each girl for the party after the performance.

I've gotten myself (and my girls) into this crazy nonsense. What advice can you -- my helpful, rationale blog community -- give me to help me and the girls survive this insanity? I've committed to attend all of these events, so I can't back out of anything now. But what tips can you share on how you've survived insanely over-scheduled days?

Sunday is Libby Doodle Doo's birthday. I don't want us to sleep through the day due to total exhaustion. Thankfully, I have no plans for Sunday except church (and a cupcake celebration -- if I find time to pick up the cupcakes on Saturday).

Look, I'm Able to Climb This Table

2008-02-27T19:45:00.008-05:00

Libby Doodle Doo and I spent some time alone tonight as my babysitter took Zo Peep to her swim class. The Doodle didn't want to play or act silly. She just wanted me to hold her.

So hold her I did.

We also had a girl to girl talk (Well, I talked. She babbled). I sang. She nuzzled into my clavicle and patted my shoulder. I patted her back.

She started to yawn a little after 7PM and I put her to bed at 7:15 -- what a nice evening with my baby girl.

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Libby Doodle Doo is developing at an astonishing rate. She has recently begun to stand on her own . Can walking be far behind?

One of her favorite places to practice her standing is underneath our trestle kitchen table. Here are some shots from Saturday.

First, she crawls under the table:

Then she grabs her trestle:

She's sooooo satisfied when she stands:

She even likes to show off and reach up

to touch the under-side of the table:

It's so much fun to watch her master these accomplishments each and every day.

Sunrise, Sunset -- Precious Waking Moments

2008-02-26T22:31:00.008-05:00

Now that I've started back to work, I have precious few moments to spend with my chicks each workday -- and that is a major bummer.

My job is not a 9 to 5 one. I'm expected to be on call every day and night. I'm also expected to put in at least 60 hours a week. It's not unusual to have meetings before 8AM in the morning or after 6PM at night. I've been able to do many of those off-hour meetings on the phone, but sometimes I need to get into the office very early and sometimes I've stayed very late.
Work has been crazy this week -- and it's only Tuesday. I've been dealing with a different crisis about every 20 minutes -- I've barely had time to breath.

I made a commitment to myself that I want to get to the office by 8:15AM and leave by 5:15PM until Libby Doodle Doo fully adjusts to the daycare routine. Then I'm using the time when the girls are asleep to complete items I haven't been able to finish in the office.

Both yesterday and today I've been working until a little before 6PM -- 45 minutes later than I wanted to leave. Those 45 minutes make a big difference in the time I have to interact with my girls -- especially the Doodle. To make matters worse the weather here has been dreadful for the last 2 nights so my evening commute has been longer than normal. Net, net I haven't been getting home until 6:30PM or later.

On Monday, my babysitter had held off dinner until I got home. Libby Doodle Doo saw me coming in the kitchen door and squealed with delight. What a joy after a long, stressful day. She used all of her energy to crawl over and greet me. (BTW the Doodle's crawl is adorable. She's down on both hands and one knee. The other leg looks like a frog -- with her foot planted on the floor and her bent knee in the air. She uses this leg to propel her forward -- so it's part crawl, part jump. I call it Hopalong Crawling. I need to get video of that before she loses it). So I was able to spend a little reconnection time with both girls -- but not as much as I would have liked.

Tonight the babysitter already had started dinner without me (which was the right thing to do since they were hungry and cranky) and the girls were both almost finished eating when I walked in. I was so upset with myself for missing time with them. There was no time to play or hold Libby Doodle Doo. There was no time to talk to Little Zo Peep about her day and review the contents of her book bag before we sat down to eat.

After dinner I tried to play with the Doodle a little, but it was already her bedtime. I took her nightly bottle upstairs with me as Little Zo Peep, Libby Doodle Doo and I went to read bedtime stories. Before I finished the first of two, I could tell that Miss Libby was ready to go to sleep. I put her in her crib and she immediately went to sleep.

So here's the sad scorecard. During the week I only get to spend a couple waking hours with my girls each day. With Libby Doodle Doo's earlier bedtime, it's even shorter. Today I spent less than 90 waking minutes with her -- 30 minutes in the morning and a little under 60 minutes tonight. Horrible!!!!! How can I properly parent a child who only interacts with me for 90 minutes in a day.

It's a little better for Little Zo Peep -- but not much. She often wakes up a little earlier than the Doodle and stays up later. Today we got to interact for 4 hours (1 hour in the morning and 3 hours at night -- I let her stay up an extra 30 minutes tonight to spend more time with her).

Thus is the reality of this working single mom.

I'm somewhat concerned about how little time I'm spending with Libby Doodle Doo since I've started back to work. I had these same issues with Little Zo Peep when she was a baby and we worked through them -- so I know everything will be ok. The situation is a little more challenging because I'm dealing with 2 instead of one. I just need to find little pockets when I can spend more time with each girl separately and both collectively.

I am supposed to take Little Zo Peep to swim class on Wednesday night from 6:15PM until 8PM-- which means I'll spend no time with the Doodle at all. I'm going to see if my babysitter can take Zo Peep instead so that I can reconnect with my youngest for a night.

It's not much, but it's something.

Snack Attack

2008-02-25T21:43:00.010-05:00

Since starting back to work last week, I discovered that my old nemeses – the munchies in the vending machines – are still beckoning me to come and visit them every afternoon when my energy wanes. So I will use snack food as the theme for these little stories that I wanted to share from our last week. I hope these stories will satisfy your appetite (without adding unwelcomed calories).

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Church is Supposed to Calm the Soul– Right??

I’m trying to get the Hen and Chicks to church every Sunday. I'm not a consistent church-goer, but like to go to church to reflect on my life and my place in the universe and to think about how I can become a better person.

We’ve gone for the last 3 weeks and I have to tell you that the experience -- so far -- is not what I had hoped for. Regardless, of what hour we've gone (I've tried early mid and late morning), the girls act up so much that I have trouble feeling very spiritual during services. I think I've probably defeated the purpose of church if I'm thinking less than holy thoughts while I'm there.

Libby Doodle Doo - in particular -- is a handful in church. Holding her yesterday was like holding the Tasmanian Devil – it took all my strength to keep her in my arms and not flying out of them and onto the floor. Plus, she also is a vocal child with a booming voice. Not only does she shouts out her baby babbles during singing, during readings, and during the sermon (which I can handle), she also uses that booming voice to squeal out in displeasure when she's unhappy (which sometimes gets disapproving stares from the congregation).

Little Zo Peep seems to feed off of the Doodle's crankiness and is constantly fidgeting or whining or both .

I've avoided going to the baby/cry room so far because it's such a free-for-all in there with kids running around and shouting. I fear that if the girls are exposed to seeing other kids act up like that in church it will be even more difficult to teach them self-control and restraint during mass.

My prayers for more patience and fortitude have -- so far -- been unanswered. I'm determined to try again next Sunday.

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Morning 1 of Beach Bead Experiment A Success

Little Zo Peep's behavior getting ready this morning was exemplary. I can't recall having such a pleasant and hassle-free morning. Did we get out the door by 7:15? No, but we did get out by 7:35AM which is much earlier than any day last week.

Zo Peep laid out her clothes last night to facilitate a more streamlined morning tomorrow. I think this little experiment may just work!!!

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Libby Doodle Doo’s Turns the BIG “01” This Weekend.

Miss Doodle’s First birthday will be this Sunday March 2nd. She seems so little to already be turning one. When people meet her they usually guess her age between 6 and 9 months – she's such a peanut. (16 pounds, 14 ounces at her last Dr. visit)

I'm so happy that she is home with us to celebrate this milestone day. I'm going to have a quiet little celebration for her with a cake, ice cream and some friends and family.

I'll be thinking a lot about her birth mom that day. Libby Doodle Doo was kept by her birth mother for the first 9 days of her life. I infer from that behavior that her mother may have had a very hard time making the difficult decision to give up her baby girl.

So March 2nd -- a day of great happiness for me may be one of great sadness for that woman on the other side of the world. A sobering thought indeed.

I've started a post about my ongoing relationship with two women I have never met -- and may never meet -- the mothers of my two beautiful girls. It's a subject that requires a lot of soul-searching and contemplation. Stay tuned.

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Little Red Hen Debuts this Saturday

I don't have some unnatural fascination with poultry-- Really-- in spite of the name of this blog.

But I did find it somewhat interesting that Zo Peep's Kindergarten class is performing the story of the Little Red Hen this Saturday. That's the story where the Little Red Hen asks for help in making bread but all of her barnyard friends are too busy to help ("Not I," said the cow.) until the bread is ready to eat.

My Peep, unfortunately, did not get the coveted role of the Red Hen , but will instead play Mouse #3 one of the barnyard narrators of this classic story.

Remember there are no small parts -- only small actors.

There Will Be Bribes

2008-02-24T21:33:00.008-05:00

(The Inspiration for today’s title is the Oscar Award telecast which is scheduled for tonight . I love movies and used to go see every well-reviewed movie as soon as it was released. Oh how times have changed. Recently, I read an article about the 25 movies from 2007 that every film fanatic should see. I scanned the list and saw only 2 movies that I had seen – Ratatouille and Enchanted – two kids movies. Oh well. By the way, the post has NOTHING to do with movies. )

I hatched a plan last week that is designed to increase the likelihood that I’ll be able to get out of the house at a reasonable hour each weekday morning. I've devoted past postings to the challenges I face every week morning getting Little Zo Peep out of the door. Although I'm still getting to know Libby Doodle Doo, I sense that -- like her sister-- she is NOT a morning person.

I feel like a rabbit who is trying to mother a turtle and a snail -- our natures are so completely opposite each other that conflict is sure to arise. In fact, getting ready in the morning is just a recipe for disaster in our household.

Before I started back to work last Monday, I decided that I needed to leave the house by 7:15AM each morning to get the girls to school and daycare and comfortably arrive at my job between 8 AM and 8:15.

I never came close. The best I did was leaving at 7:40AM.

So here's the new plan I've devised. I plan to use positive incentives to encourage efficient, compliant, and speedy behavior from Zo Peep (and eventually Libby Doodle Doo) in the morning. By rewarding their good behavior, I thought that I would increase the likelihood that we would leave at the appropriate time.

What are the details? For every weekday that we get out of the house by 7:15 without major arguments or misery, I will give Zo Peep one Beach BEAD. She will string these bead on a cord. When she has collected 100 Beach Beads, I will book a vacation for the family to go on a beach vacation. This scenario doesn't end with the Beach vacation. In fact, this plan can go on until the girls are out of high school (well, maybe middle school) . Beach Beads can be transformed to Mickey Beads for a Disney World vacation. Then Ski BEADS for a ski vacation-- and so on and so on.

Now some of you may call this "positive incentive" plan nothing but a thinly-veiled bribe. To-may- toes; To-mah-toes -- If it works, I'll call it whatever you want.

I know that things I've tried in the past -- nagging, punishing, yelling (I'm ashamed to say) have NOT been effective. I'll give this plan a try for awhile.

Zo Peep is very excited about starting on Monday. I think she may not see a bead for the first week or so. I asked her many times tonight what she was going to prepare in advance to assure that she'll get out of the house early tomorrow (e.g. lay out clothes, pack bookbag and put in car, etc). She wasn't interested in doing anything -- so I'm 100% positive tomorrow will not be a terrific success. After the expected-fiasco tomorrow, I can make suggestions to her on ways she can trim her get ready time.

Wish us luck. We're going to need it.

Hot Date That Ends Badly

2008-02-23T23:08:00.010-05:00

(2 posts from me today – wow! Impressive, eh??)

I had a hot date today – with my first born Little Zo Peep.

First, my babysitter watched both girls early this PM as I went for an eye appointment and bought new glasses (my old glasses had fallen victim to one-too-many attacks from Libby Doodle Doo).

Then at 3pm I went back to the babysitter’s house and picked up Little Zo Peep for some “just Mommy and me time.” We went to a movie (Spiderwick Chronicles) and bought a goodly amount of movie theatre junk food (probably too much because my tummy is still a little achy).

On the way to the movie Zo Peep told me how it was nice to be alone with me without Libby Doodle Doo. I told her that I missed spending time just with her and looked forward to having these special times with her in the future. I did reinforce, though, that I also love the time we spend as a family and really enjoy the 3 of us too.

“Really,” said Miss Peep incredulously. “I think it’s much more pleasant and quieter when Libby isn’t here.”

We talked a lot about babies – how they are noisy and smelly – but also how they are loving and sweet and how they need us so much. Zo Peep conceded that Libby is ok sometimes. I still have some work to do there.

We picked up Libby Doodle Doo after the movie and returned home at about 7:30. I wish I could say that this nice day ended on a high note, but it didn’t.

When we got home I wanted to get the girls in pj’s, feed them a light dinner and get them into bed (it was already past the Doodle’s bedtime). Zo Peep told me that she really wanted to take a bath tonight (due to dry skin, I don’t bathe the girls daily and she wasn’t due till Sunday).

I couldn’t watch Zo Peep bathe and get dinner on the table in time. I asked her if she could handle a bath on her own (typically I still stay close by when she takes baths – which is rare, because she prefers showers).

I filled the tub for her (she wanted it higher, but I told her it was high enough), got her towels out of the linen closet and gave her some bath additives. Then Libby Doodle Doo and I went downstairs and I started preparing dinner and feeding the Libster. About 20 minutes later, I was about to go up and check on Zo Peep when she called out that she needed a dry towel. I made sure Libby Doodle Doo was secure and safe and ran upstairs to see what was going on.

A small tributary of water was sitting in my upstairs hallway (on my hardwood floor) and dripping down the steps. It came from the bathroom where at least 2 inches of water was all over the floor. It took 6 bath towels and 2 beach towels to soak up all the water. Zo Peep’s bathtub was filled almost to the tippy top with mountains of bubbles sitting on top.

Later when I cleaned up the mess I found a previously full bottle of shampoo empty and floating under the bubbles. I also found all of the clothes Zo Peep had been wearing prior to the bath soaking in the bathtub (was she doing laundry?) Finally the towels I had given her for the bath were both in her tub water as well.

Was I angry? – You bet. Also very, very disappointed. She had disobeyed me, for sure. But --- more importantly – she had acted immature and reckless. (I still keep checking the downstairs ceiling to see if the plaster is going to come down.) Her behavior has been so grown up lately, I thought I could give her more big girl responsibilities – I guess not yet. I have to keep on remembering that she is only 5 years old.

I put her to bed immediately without her supper (trust me, she ate enough junk food at the movie theatre that she won’t starve). She sobbed as she tried to negotiate a reduced sentence. I did not waiver.

I put Libby Doodle Doo to bed at the same time. Zo Peep’s sobs triggered a sympathetic crying fest for the Doodle, too. What a nightmare!!! After cleaning up the bathroom/hallway mess and putting all the towels in the laundry, I went back upstairs at 8:30 and moved Zo Peep to my room so that the baby could sleep. They both went to sleep shortly after that visit and have been quiet since.

So – just in case any of you think I live this lovely life right out of a Hallmark card – I don’t. My kids are kids—sometimes adorable, sometimes petulant, sometimes ornery, and sometimes maddening.

They are kids. I love them with all my heart. I just don’t like their behavior all of the time. I guess that may be the mantra of most parents.

Blue Plate Special

2008-02-23T22:02:00.002-05:00

Our weekdays have always been hectic and have even gotten more so with the addition of Libby Doodle Doo -- Work commitments, school commitments, day care, etc, etc.

I, therefore, want to make weekends as relaxing and rejuvenating as possible for myself and for the girls. I’ve had a long-established rule with Little Zo Peep that she can stay in PJ’s on the weekends for as long as possible (on weekdays she needs to change into school clothes as soon as she hops out of bed and brushes her teeth). I wanted to add other special weekend rituals that we all can look forward to at the end of each crazy week.

I’ve thought about things I could do to make weekends especially festive – and decided on Saturday morning breakfasts. So instead of the usual cold or warm cereal that they get during the week, I want the girls to experience an old fashioned BIG breakfast every Saturday morning. My dad always made a big breakfast for all of us on Sunday morning after church. I liked that idea, but thought that Saturday morning would work out a little better for us.

Last Saturday I made Mickey Mouse pancakes (pancakes with 2 ears), link sausage and juice. Today we had bacon, home fries with onions and garlic, and scrambled eggs.

It was a nice morning. Zo Peep wanted me to pretend that I was a waitress so I got a little notepad and took her order. She also gave an order for her baby (Libby Doodle Doo) and requested that I cut up the baby’s food so she could eat it without choking. Zo Peep also ordered coffee and then in a whisper told me that she didn’t really want coffee, but would like some Chai (decaf) instead.

As requested, I cut up the baby’s potatoes and fed the scrambled eggs to the Doodle via spoon. She wolfed everything down. Miss Zo Peep finished her breakfast too and then went downstairs to catch some cartoons before we needed to get ready for her Chinese class.

A very pleasant way to start the weekend.

So for next week should the Blue Plate Special be waffles or French toast????

Impressionable Minds

2008-02-22T12:46:00.004-05:00

In the last week and a half, Little Zo Peep has sat through 2 presentations on the importance of proper oral health care – presented by dentists but clearly with one sponsored by the makers of Colgate and the other by the makers of Crest.

Wow – the greedy fingers of consumer marketing are reaching all the way down into my daughter’s kindergarten class. It makes me feel a little uncomfortable.

Now let me say right here and now that you all can call me a HYPOCRITE because I happen to make my living as a Consumer Marketer. Yes, I’m one of those people who make annoying ads for television, dream up promotions to entice you online, place coupons in your Sunday supplement and create signs to get you to buy my products in stores. And honestly I like what I do and think I provide a service to people.

That's because my efforts have always targeted adults. I feel that my job is to uncover the differences between my products and the competition, communicate that information to consumers – and let them decide which product to buy. So I always have talked to consumers who were capable of critical thinking and of making up their own minds (well, I did once market teenage acne products – but teenagers should be capable of critical thinking, right?).

Even though each of these oral healthcare presentations was filled with lots of important information – more on that later – I’m not crazy about either the Colgate-Palmolive Company or Procter & Gamble trying to influence my 5 ½ year old daughter’s brand choice.

The Colgate presentation seemed to be more educational and less brand sell. They gave a sample of the Sponge Bob toothpaste and gave Zo Peep a little oral healthcare game that she could play at home. At dinner that night she talked about the importance of brushing and a little bit about tartar and plaque. So I’d call it more educational; but with less impact.

After the Crest presentation she was reciting the horrors that can be inflicted by plaque. She lectured me on the importance of flossing (Unlike Colgate, P&G also has a big Floss business that they need to promote) and why she should use a mouth rinse. She received a little chart and stickers to make sure she brushed, flossed and rinsed 2 times each day (with recommendations on which P&G products to use for each event). So the Crest one really got her engine revving (she even wants to create a similar chart for me to use with Libby Doodle Doo – and the Libster only has 5 ½ teeth) – high on impact; but also high on hard sell.

And get this -- since we don’t use any rinses/mouthwashes at home, Zo Peep told me how I need to go out and buy one. Now I support anything to encourage the Peep to establish healthy oral care habits (getting her to brush has always been a struggle; getting her to floss has been hopeless). So I may buy a rinse, but I won’t buy P&G brands unless I think that they provide the most benefit for the best price.

So take that you, Consumer Marketers – you may lead me to the shelf, but you can’t make me buy.

Herding Cats (or in this case, Chicks)

2008-02-21T09:01:00.010-05:00

I have not yet perfected the skill to take a decent photo of both of my girls together. The wiggle and move and create the goofiest expressions whenever I take the camera out.

I think I understand one of the reasons why my parents -- with 6 kids -- rarely took family photographs that contained all of us when we were little. If I'm having this much trouble with 2 girls -- imagine what getting a photo of 6 kids must have been like.

Well, here are some photos from the last 2 nights to prove my point:

I either get one who disappears from frame as soon as I hit the shutter.

Or one is moving

Or both are moving

Or someone has an odd expression

Or someone isn’t looking at the camera

I’m going to have to take lots more pictures to get any that eventually become “keepers.” This is the best from the lot.

Thank God for the invention of the digital camera.

Surprise, Surprise, Surprise. . .

2008-02-20T13:41:00.009-05:00

I’ve already written about how surprised I have been that I’ve been so tired since becoming a mother of 2. I’ve also been surprised by some elements of being the mommy of a baby again. I thought mothering a baby would be like riding a bike (i.e. you’ll never forget how to do it).

Well, I beg to differ.

Either I’ve forgotten a lot about babies or this baby is re-writing the book on the rules of baby care -- or maybe it’s a little of both. So I assembled a list of 10 things that have surprised me about being the mommy of a baby again.

You’ll notice that most of these observations are negative, not positive, surprises. I think that is because I remembered many of the positive elements – the sweet smell of a baby when she gets out of a bathtub, teaching her how to clap her hands or wave goodbye, seeing the immense satisfaction on her face when she accomplishes something monumental like pulling herself up, etc. And these memories are forevermore etched into my brain. With that said I even have discovered a few positive surprises which I have added to my list. Here they are:

1> When did disposable diaper get so hard to use?

My sisters all had their children almost 20 years ago – so I’ve had a long term relationship with disposable diapers. When I started using them again with Little Zo Peep I remember how advanced diapers had become. I’ve been surprised, therefore, on the struggles I’m having both putting on and taking off Libby Doodle Doo’s diapers.

I find that if I don’t put the diaper on precisely right and line up all the “around the edge gathers” properly, I may be facing a messy leak later.

Taking them off is even more difficult. The Velcro tabs are so sensitive that I find them catching on the changing pad, my shirt or the folds of Libby Doodle Doo’s boda-licious belly. As I whip off the dirty diaper I find that if a tab catches on something/anything, the diaper contents (use your imagination) may go flying into the air.

2> Were crib sheets always this hard to put on?

I have a lovely crib that I borrowed from a friend. I've used it for both girls. I purchased some new sheets for Libby Doodle Doo and have had a bear of a time trying to get them on the mattress (have crib sheets gotten smaller?).

I first realized the problem when I was home and Susie my once-a-week cleaning lady asked for my help in changing the crib sheets. What a nightmare. The crib sheets seemed slightly too small to fit on the mattress and the mattress was so close to the walls of crib that I kept on scraping my knuckles trying to tuck the sheet down.

A few days later, the Doodle had a leaking diaper in the middle of the night (see #1 above) and I had to change the crib sheet on my own. During the ordeal, my precious little baby learned some new American words that would make a Teamster blush.

3> I forgot how delicious it is to have your baby fall asleep on your chest.

During the time that Libby Doodle Doo was not sleeping through the nights, I would crawl into Zo Peep’s empty bed with her and lay the Doodle on my chest in hopes that she would go to sleep. It rarely worked and I thought she didn’t like it.

But now if she’s having a rough night (like she did last night – congested) and I take her into my bed, she immediately crawls over to me and climbs onto my chest. She cradles her soft, downy head right under my chin, tucks her left arm into the neckline of my pj’s to keep it warm and sucks on her beloved right thumb.

That’s how she fell back to sleep at 4am this morning and that how we both woke up at 6:30 today. Wonderful.

4> Since when did baby girls pee all over their mommies?

I remember in my early days as a 1st time mommy -- right after I had removed her from a bath – Little Zo Peep would sometimes pee. I quickly learned to get a diaper on her even before she was completely towel dried – so these accidents ended soon after they had begun.

But Libby Doodle Doo is much more of a challenge when it comes to avoiding pee accidents. Any moment without a diaper is an invitation for her to pee. I’ve been peed on after lifting her from a tub; as I was putting her into the tub; first thing in the morning; last thing at night; during a mid day diaper change; as I apply medicine to her privates; and one memorable time when I was closely examining whether her diaper rash was healing properly – and she got me right in the face.

Maybe one of the reasons I’m having so much trouble with her diapers is related to my fear of keeping the Doodle bug naked for more than 1 milli-second and risking another shower of pee.

5> I thought sippy cups weren’t supposed to leak.

When I adopted Little Zo Peep, I was also please to see the improvements made to sippy cups to make them spill proof.

And then I started to give them to the Libster. I don’t know if these cups (left over from the Peep) are too old and that the seals don’t work as well or if the Doodle shakes them so vigorously that liquid can’t help but come out -- but Libby Doodle seems to be spilling liquids from her sippy cup every day. I’m going to invest in some new cups to see if that solves the issue.

6> It’s a special joy when your baby kisses you for the first time.

Libby Doodle Doo did not know how to kiss when I first met her. Isn’t that sad – a little girl who had not learned the joy of exchanging kisses with the people that she loves.

I’ve been working with her to help her learn to kiss. She still hasn’t mastered puckering, but she does close her mouth a little and presses her lips next to mine at the most surprising, unexpected moments. It’s magical.

7> Why am I going through so many containers of baby wipes?

I am using more wipes than I thought was humanly possible. After all, how many wipes can one use to clean the bottom of a 16 pound baby. I think there are 3 reasons this is happening. First, I have noticed that the variety of wipes we’ve purchased sometimes dispenses two to four sheets at a time – a wasteful glitch in its design. So I may have to change brands.

Second, I also have noticed that Libby doodle Doo moves around like a corkscrew when she is on the changing table, so I don’t have time to properly position the wipe for maximum cleaning ability. Finally, I’m using a lot of wipes on crusty nose droppings, so I know that until that nose stops dripping, I’ll be using whatever is close by to wipe up the latest disgusting collection that has emerged from her nose..

8> Did formula always smell this bad?

I remember Zo Peep’s formula had a distinctive odor, but I would have never described it as unpleasant. Libby Doodle Doo’s formula makes me sick to my stomach sometimes. I’ve made 2 changes to formula since Little Zo Peep. I’ve switched to Soy – based formula because the Doodle seems to like it better than milk based (she doesn’t seem to have any allergies). Second, I’ve switched to an organic brand. Is it the Soy? Does the Organic label mean that flavoring agents that masked the odor have been eliminated ? I don’t know. I just know that the smell of this stuff is overpowering at times.

I can’t imagine how she drinks it.

9> Car seats seem to have gotten more difficult to install.

I want my baby to be as safe and secure as possible while in her car seat – so why do they make car seat installation so difficult that a mommy needs to be a mechanical engineer to understand the installation procedure. I’ve installed and reinstalled the seat 3 times since getting home a month ago. I still don’t think I have it right. I need to find time to go to a state police barracks, a firehouse or somewhere where someone can install it for me in the proper fashion.

Update -- my babysitter just showed up for work and decided to solve this problem for me. She -- although not a mechanical engineer -- installed the seat properly.

10> Every baby has her own unique laugh.

Little Zo Peep had a great baby laugh – sort of a combination of Santa Claus and Maurice Chevalier (imagine Santa with a French accent). It went like this , “ho, ho, ho” with lovely rounded Gallic “o’s”

Libby Doodle Doo also has a great, unique baby laugh. I would describe it as a hyena with hiccups. It is louder and more robust the Zo Peep’s. Libby Doodle Doo lays out her laugh for all to see and hear. Nothing is held back. And the unfettered joy behind that laugh makes my heart smile.

The surprises of motherhood are – in my humble opinion – what make this second time experience so much fun.

The Night of the Whirling Dervish

2008-02-19T15:54:00.005-05:00

Yesterday afternoon I rounded the corner and peered into the infant room at daycare. There sitting on a mat surrounded by a few other babies and a Day Care worker was Libby Doodle Doo. She was intently chewing on a toy and it took a moment until she spied me. Once our eyes met, a big smile burst onto her face as she lifted up both arms for me to come over and pick her up.

The Day Care staff gave me an A+ report on the Doodle's first day– no crying; ate a lot; slept well, played quietly. They told me that Little Zo Peep (at the center because her school was closed for Prez. Day) came to the infant room at lunch time and positioned a chair on the other side of the gate leading into the room. Zo Peep sat there and watched her sister as she ate her lunch. (what an attentive big sister). During the time that Zo Peep was there, Miss Libby Doodle Doo "talked" incessantly to her older sister in her booming baritone voice. When Zo Peep was gone, the Libster did not make a sound.

And then we got home.

It was as if Libby Doodle Doo was on her best orphanage behavior all day and needed to and wanted to let go as soon as she was back in familiar surroundings. Or maybe the Day Care workers fed her sugar-coated caffeine pills non-stop all day.

All I can say is that last night Libby Doodle Doo was a whirlwind of unbridled energy combined with a side order of a prickly funk. In summary, she was INSANE.

She babbled non stop and seemed to be barking orders to anyone who came near her. She seemed as if she was famished – yet hardly ate anything. The Doodle wanted all the food we offered her and then quickly threw it to the floor or pounded it with her sippy cup. She refused any food that was presented to her on a spoon – she wanted to be in charge of her feeding last night.

Once dinner was completed, Libby Doodle Doo wanted to be held and she wanted all of us (me, sister and babysitter) to play with her. She was visibly angry if any of us moved away to do something else. I tried holding her to calm her down, but she was so restless. She squirmed to be put down – and as soon as I did that – she crawled up my leg so that I could pick her up again.

My babysitter wanted the Libster to try on some outfits that she had just purchased on sale– to see if they fit. Usually Libby Doodle Doo loves to play dress up with me, but she pitched a fit when Kristen tried to undress her. We gave up on the fashion show after the second outfit.

At bottle time, Libby Doodle Doo was very excited when she saw her bottle and then had no interest in it after a couple of lackluster sucks. I took her upstairs to comfort her and calm her down before bed. After 15 minutes of rocking her in the dark, I put her down in the crib. Before I even left the room she started to scream bloody murder. The crying stopped after a few minutes and – finally – thankfully – she fell asleep.

I went downstairs to join my babysitter and Little Zo Peep. We collapsed in chairs. All three of us – Mommy, Babysitter and Sister were exhausted from that Whirling Dervish of a Baby.

Her behavior was back to normal this morning. I’m attributing last night’s craziness mostly to teething (She’s cutting her 5th and 6th teeth in her upper gum) and possibly to the early stages of a cold (she seemed to be sneezing a lot this morning). And I’m sure that the experience of a new environment during the day at Day Care probably put her off kilter, too.

I'm curious to see what tonight's behavior will be.

Working 9 to 5 (and the Day Care Blues)

2008-02-18T15:37:00.007-05:00

Today Libby Doodle Doo – only 1 month and 5 days since she was first placed in my arms in Nanchang China – is starting full time Day Care as I’ve gone back to full time work.

How sad. Not at all what I had planned.

My adoption leave plan was to use FMLA to take off the first 2 weeks of February and then to work part time (3 days a week) from this Wednesday until the end of March. Libby Doodle Doo was going to start in Day Care this Wednesday and attend on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday until I went back to full time work on April 1st at which time she would start full time in Day Care.

But my FMLA plans fell apart about a week and one-half ago. How did this happen? Please view my experience as a cautionary tale. Learn from my mistakes and make sure you work out ALL the details of your adoption leave before you leave for China.

Here’s what happened:

Like many corporations, my company does not give any paid leave for employees who adopt.

My original plan for leave was to save most of my 2007 vacation days and use those for both my China travel and for some adoption leave when I got back. But that plan was foiled when my agency was not able to get us to travel to China in December. We have a “use it or lose it” vacation policy at work – so when my travel was moved back to January I lost the days I had been hoarding.

Up until that time I had avoided looking seriously at FMLA because of the UNPAID nature of the leave. For those who may not be familiar FMLA (The Family Medical Leave Act) is unpaid leave (up to 12 weeks each year) given to employees in the US. To be blunt – I didn’t think I could afford it. I had not saved properly or budgeted properly throughout 2007 to allow myself to take a nice chunk of unpaid time off in 2008.

But FMLA became my only option in December, so I began researching the policy within my company. I found that there were 2 kinds of FMLA – what I’ll call full time FMLA (where you are out for a certain amount of consecutive days) and intermittent FMLA (where you essentially take your FMLA a few days at a time over a greater number of weeks).

I thought that a leave that used both of these 2 types of FMLA would be perfect for me and perfect for the company. I put together a plan right before the Christmas holiday that proposed that I would have me take the first 2 weeks of February off and then I would start back to work part time during the 3rd week of Feb and to continue till the end of March. By using a combination of the Full time and Part time FMLA I would be able to give Libby Doodle Doo some full time attention and let her transition to Day Care gradually. I also would be able to keep my hand in projects from work so that nothing fell through the cracks. Finally, I could start getting paid a partial salary in mid February which would help from a household budgeting standpoint.

Because of Christmas holidays and my travel in January, my proposed plan worked it’s way through several corporation approvals and only went into the department that manages FMLA leave in early February. On Feb 8th that department contacted me and told me that I can’t take intermittent FMLA for an adoption leave. I am only allowed to take full time consecutive leave. It’s still unclear to me if this is a Federal requirement or one that my own company created. But unfortunately it meant that I needed either to extend my full time leave past the 2nd week of February or go back to work full time at that time. When I weighed the financial implications, the needs of Libby Doodle Doo and the needs of my job – I decided that the better choice was to go back full time right away.

So little Libby Doodle Doo was bundled up early this morning and dropped off at Day Care at 7:15 am. She seemed ok with the transition and didn’t cry at all when I left.

I did decide to work from home today just in case she had a meltdown on her first day -- but so far, so good. I called at 11:30 and found out that she had a good morning and was still napping. I’m going to pick her up around 3:30 today. She seems to be an easy-going baby who probably will adjust to this change very well.

I honestly think the transition will be more difficult for me. I really was enjoying getting to know my little one better and I wasn’t quite ready to relinquish her to Day Care quite yet.

Learn from my mistakes. Do your homework about FMLA (or whatever system your company uses) long before your referral comes in. Have a well-thought out back up plan in case your first choice for taking adoption leave falls through. If you need to save your money to make sure you can take adoption leave that you feel is right for you and your daughter, start doing that now. Net, net – Do as I say – NOT as I did.

In the end, Libby Doodle Doo will adjust to Day Care. I’ll adjust to not having as much time with her. I just wish I planned for this important part of my adoption much better than I had.

My Favorite Things

2008-02-17T10:56:00.005-05:00

This is the last day that I'll have with the girls before I start back to work full time tomorrow. I've known Libby Doodle Doo for only a little over a month, but I've carefully been observing what makes her happy and what makes her sad. I wanted to capture those observations today.

I'm notorious for changing the words to famous songs for Zo Peep (and now for the Libster, too). Here are new lyrics to that Sound of Music standout -- My Favorite Things. At least these are the words that I imagine Libby Doodle Doo would compose -- if she could write and if she could type (regardles of what the picture above may show).

My Favorite Things -- by Libby Doodle Doo

Sisters with bright smiles who tickle and giggle
Green colored Jell-O that wiggles and jiggles
Using my sippy to pound all my food
These are the things that create my good mood

Squirm like a worm when my mom changes clothe-ses
Take off my socks to reveal all my toe-ses
Snot running down from my nose to my mouth
These are some things that I can’t do without

Splashing at bath time in our kitchen sink
Taking a sip from my mommy’s warm drink
Cozying up to my grey elephant
These are the things that I hold sacrosanct.

When the bib comes
Round my neckline
And I’m getting mad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I feel real-ly glad

Pulling myself up to stand in my crib
Yanking and throwing that most-hated bib
Watching my sister as she dances a dance
These are the things that I can’t leave to chance

Giggling and smiling at mom’s funny faces
Challenge my sister to new crawling races
Sucking my thumb any time I am blue
These are the things that make me Doodle Doo

When that tissue
Wipes my wet nose
And I’m feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don’t feel so bad.