Working 9 to 5 (and the Day Care Blues)

Today Libby Doodle Doo – only 1 month and 5 days since she was first placed in my arms in Nanchang China – is starting full time Day Care as I’ve gone back to full time work.

How sad. Not at all what I had planned.

My adoption leave plan was to use FMLA to take off the first 2 weeks of February and then to work part time (3 days a week) from this Wednesday until the end of March. Libby Doodle Doo was going to start in Day Care this Wednesday and attend on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday until I went back to full time work on April 1st at which time she would start full time in Day Care.

But my FMLA plans fell apart about a week and one-half ago. How did this happen? Please view my experience as a cautionary tale. Learn from my mistakes and make sure you work out ALL the details of your adoption leave before you leave for China.

Here’s what happened:

Like many corporations, my company does not give any paid leave for employees who adopt.

My original plan for leave was to save most of my 2007 vacation days and use those for both my China travel and for some adoption leave when I got back. But that plan was foiled when my agency was not able to get us to travel to China in December. We have a “use it or lose it” vacation policy at work – so when my travel was moved back to January I lost the days I had been hoarding.

Up until that time I had avoided looking seriously at FMLA because of the UNPAID nature of the leave. For those who may not be familiar FMLA (The Family Medical Leave Act) is unpaid leave (up to 12 weeks each year) given to employees in the US. To be blunt – I didn’t think I could afford it. I had not saved properly or budgeted properly throughout 2007 to allow myself to take a nice chunk of unpaid time off in 2008.

But FMLA became my only option in December, so I began researching the policy within my company. I found that there were 2 kinds of FMLA – what I’ll call full time FMLA (where you are out for a certain amount of consecutive days) and intermittent FMLA (where you essentially take your FMLA a few days at a time over a greater number of weeks).

I thought that a leave that used both of these 2 types of FMLA would be perfect for me and perfect for the company. I put together a plan right before the Christmas holiday that proposed that I would have me take the first 2 weeks of February off and then I would start back to work part time during the 3rd week of Feb and to continue till the end of March. By using a combination of the Full time and Part time FMLA I would be able to give Libby Doodle Doo some full time attention and let her transition to Day Care gradually. I also would be able to keep my hand in projects from work so that nothing fell through the cracks. Finally, I could start getting paid a partial salary in mid February which would help from a household budgeting standpoint.

Because of Christmas holidays and my travel in January, my proposed plan worked it’s way through several corporation approvals and only went into the department that manages FMLA leave in early February. On Feb 8th that department contacted me and told me that I can’t take intermittent FMLA for an adoption leave. I am only allowed to take full time consecutive leave. It’s still unclear to me if this is a Federal requirement or one that my own company created. But unfortunately it meant that I needed either to extend my full time leave past the 2nd week of February or go back to work full time at that time. When I weighed the financial implications, the needs of Libby Doodle Doo and the needs of my job – I decided that the better choice was to go back full time right away.

So little Libby Doodle Doo was bundled up early this morning and dropped off at Day Care at 7:15 am. She seemed ok with the transition and didn’t cry at all when I left.

I did decide to work from home today just in case she had a meltdown on her first day -- but so far, so good. I called at 11:30 and found out that she had a good morning and was still napping. I’m going to pick her up around 3:30 today. She seems to be an easy-going baby who probably will adjust to this change very well.

I honestly think the transition will be more difficult for me. I really was enjoying getting to know my little one better and I wasn’t quite ready to relinquish her to Day Care quite yet.

Learn from my mistakes. Do your homework about FMLA (or whatever system your company uses) long before your referral comes in. Have a well-thought out back up plan in case your first choice for taking adoption leave falls through. If you need to save your money to make sure you can take adoption leave that you feel is right for you and your daughter, start doing that now. Net, net – Do as I say – NOT as I did.

In the end, Libby Doodle Doo will adjust to Day Care. I’ll adjust to not having as much time with her. I just wish I planned for this important part of my adoption much better than I had.