The Big Holiday Wrap Up

Even though it's only December 30th, I've already taken down all of my Christmas decorations. Honestly, this is one Christmas that I'm happy to bid adieu.

After untangling 12 strings of lights, bubble-wrapping about 100 ornaments, packing up 27 boxes of miscellaneous decorations, dragging 2 Christmas trees to the curb and vacuuming needles till the cows came home -- I have completed the dreaded clean up after Christmas.

It took me the entire day, but God it felt good. Cathartic, really. You see, this is the third (count 'em -- 3rd) Christmas that I've been waiting for Libby Doodle Doo. This 3rd one was the killer one for me.


Back in 2005 during my first Christmas waiting for Libby Doodle Doo, I was still under the delusion that I would be getting Miss Libby the following Summer. I was happy and optimistic in my Naiveté.


At Christmastime, 2006 I knew all about the wait but was convinced that my turn would come sometime around July or August of 2007. The trends of 2006 were pointing to that completion date. I remember writing in the Dec 05 Yahoo board, "Well at least we can say that this is the LAST Christmas that we'll be waiting for our children."


And now in 2007, I have Libby's photo. I have a travel date. I should be happy and excited. But honestly I've found myself caught off-guard throughout this holiday season by a feeling of sadness. Sad that my agency has taken so long to get us to China -- while other agencies have had their clients travel and already returned with their children. Sad that Little Zo Peep has missed another Christmas to celebrate with her little sister. Sad that during the time that has passed since my referral in November, my Libby Doodle Doo may have cut her first tooth, learned to crawl, maybe even taken her first step -- milestones I may have missed. Sad that I have not yet had the chance to hold this precious child in my arms, to listen to her gentle breathing as she falls to sleep on my chest, to smell her clean, fresh baby smell.


So today on December 30th , I swept Christmas out of my house and out of my life so that I could welcome in a new year.


This new year will be one of Little Zo Peep and Libby Doodle Doo -- filled with good times and challenging transitions, and family and lovely memories.


I even had enough energy at the end of my Christmas cleanup to unpack Libby Doodle Doo's new stroller, her car seat and her high chair. I moved the high chair into the kitchen -- ready for Miss Libby Doodle Doo. Serious nesting has just begun. I'm going to start packing tomorrow.


I can't wait.